痕書站

評分:3 分,滿分為 5。

他們的世界 Their World

 
  沈清軒從來也不知道他娘親的事,伊墨不說,他便被瞞了一輩子。伊墨並沒有存心瞞他,只是覺得他知不知道都沒有意義。事情已經走到這一步,他們母子的性子,不會因為說出來就突然親愛起來,疏遠終是疏遠。那是時光經年累積的疏離,只有時光才能彌補回來。但沈清軒已經沒有幾年光景可活,何必讓他臨死都歉疚。
  況且即使再疏遠,沈清軒心裡也是敬愛沈夫人的。這一點從他無事時便替沈夫人手抄佛經上看得出來。他不僅自己抄,連小寶都被逼著跟著抄。
  
  伊墨從山中歸來,進入院門,就看他父子兩人在涼亭裡,一人一桌案,正低頭抄寫佛經。恰逢秋日,院裡三株百年桂花樹都開了,甜絲絲的香味被秋風帶著,傳了很遠。
  沈府裡幾個小丫頭,遠遠地踮著腳,嗅著南院傳來的桂花香。
  可她們誰也不敢靠近南院,折幾支桂花插瓶的勇氣都沒有,生怕南院裡的妖精會把她們拆吞入腹。
  其實十年過去了,也沒聽說妖精吃過人,只是懼怕之心人人皆有,她們怕的不僅是妖,還有與妖相處的沈家家主。比起異類的妖精,敢與妖精糾纏不清的沈清軒才是更讓她們懼怕的物件,這種懼怕沒什麼道理,天下事本身也沒那麼多道理。
  三四個丫頭閒暇無事聚在一起悄悄議論,想推個人去摘花。
  推來推去,哪個也不敢去冒這個險,悄悄站在南院牆根下,眼巴巴地瞅著那幾株高出院牆的桂花樹沒有辦法。
  正要散去時,桂花樹無風自動的搖擺了幾下,幾樹枝椏落了下來,自發地落在她們腳旁,密密綻開的金黃色小花一朵也不曾損壞。
  丫頭們先時一驚,突然明白過來,撿起花枝小步跑開,跑的遠了,才回過神,沖著南院遙遙做了個萬福。
  
  打發走幾個小丫頭,伊墨重新轉過身,看涼亭裡的父子二人。
  案前檀香嫋嫋,沈清軒一襲白袍,解了束冠,只用一條青綢束了發,伏在案上默寫經文。沈玨在他身側的小案上,也學他用一條綢帶束了發,攥著毛筆,一筆一劃替奶奶寫著經文。
  他們父子面容都是沉斂的,晨曦的光線中自有一種端莊肅靜。
  
  伊墨遠遠看著,自發隱去了身形,沒有走上前去打擾他們。沈玨觀感十分敏銳,知道他來了,也只是朝他的方向看了一眼,盈盈一笑,露出兩顆小虎牙,繼而又伏案抄經。
  沈夫人不知道沈清軒對她的心意,一如沈清軒一直以為母親對他毫無愛意。只有伊墨知道,也只有伊墨能看見,看見他默寫佛經時身上散出的絲絲光暈,那是只有真正虔誠的人,才有的佛相。
  心無所物,唯虔誠而已;又心有所盼,所以他的一筆一劃唯虔誠而已。
  伊墨知道沈夫人是下不了地獄的。因為她有這樣一個虔誠的兒子,一筆一劃都在替她祈福,縱有萬千罪孽,在這樣虔誠之心前,也有佛光普照,網開一面。
  
  終於落下最後一個字,沈清軒放下筆。吹了吹紙張上未幹墨蹟,抬頭看向四周。伊墨明明隱著身形,他卻能准而又准的將視線停駐在他身上,緩緩挽起唇角,露出一絲輕軟笑意。
  聲音是躍然歡喜,道:“你來了。”
  伊墨解了術法,慢吞吞走過去,剛剛靠近便被他拽了衣袖扯住,攥住了手,十指相扣著。沈清軒傾過身,在他身上蹭了蹭便倚了上去。伊墨將他抱起來,放在自己腿上,一起靠著闌幹,看白雲朵朵,看風吹樹葉搖。
  
  沈玨頭也不抬,依然專心致志地抄寫經文,他終究年少,下筆沒有沈清軒嫺熟,一本經卷同時開寫,速度總是要落在阿爹後面。然而他也不急不燥,沒有拼比的意思,知道這是佛堂裡的奶奶唯一喜愛的禮物,便寫的專心致志。人間冷暖他並未嘗到多少,但他知道這世上真心喜愛他的無非只有這幾個,爺爺是待他最親熱的,要什麼給什麼,也肯陪他玩陪他鬧,在爹爹被家族瑣事纏的分身乏術時,還帶他四處遊耍;奶奶是個淡漠的性子,然而也待他很好,不是輕言蜜語的好,甚至很少笑。但是那種發自心底的對他的溫善喜愛,沈玨識別的出。
  能為喜愛自己的人做點事情,沈玨是願意的,想到拿著抄好的經文,送到佛堂裡能見到奶奶沖他笑,便覺得十分開心。或許奶奶開心了,就願意見見阿爹了。
  
  伊墨攬著沈清軒一言不發,等小寶寫完經文,在沉默安靜裡,便覺得時光緩慢又綿長。他們並不說話,只是一個依偎在一個身上,同看一朵葉子在風的吹拂中緩緩落下,金黃桂花也在秋風中熙熙灑灑的揚落,落在泥土上,依然散發著嫋嫋甜香。
  懷中人身上隱隱散發著墨香,伴隨著空氣裡桂花和檀香,揉成一種獨有的味道,安謐悠然,讓人忍不住鬆弛下來。伊墨低下頭能看見他略帶蒼白的臉色,和眼下淺淺的青紫。這人總是累的。撐起一份家業,應對無限繁瑣,容忍冷眼和流言,沒有一天輕鬆過。
  即使偶有閒暇,也要抄抄經書,陪陪沈玨。一年倒頭,也沒有幾個閒暇的日子。
  然而這是他選擇的路。
  他本可以隱在山林中做一個閒散鬆快的大少爺,飲酒賞花,聽風吹雨落,渡過一天天悠閒日子直至壽終。可他自己放棄這條輕鬆坦途,下山承擔起長子責任,挑起一門榮辱,幾乎沒有閒暇時間。累也罷苦也好,他自己願意,伊墨也從來不說什麼。沈清軒更不會說什麼,只是安靜的在他身上依偎著,稍後便自然睡了過去。
  
  沈玨終於寫完最後一個字,放下筆,讓未幹的紙張自己晾著。回過身就見白玉石的美人闌上,他爹倚在父親胸前,已經沉沉地睡了,睡容平靜,眼下的青紫格外明顯。
  沈玨心中揪了一下。
  他爹被人背後喊怪物,喊得多了,沈清軒也就把自己當成怪物來用,天未亮就起床,洗漱過後在濛濛亮的光景裡就開始一天的忙碌。沈家生意做的大,這幾年他和伊墨的事情傳開了,不懷好意借機鬧事的人愈發的多,沈清軒越是不敢出一點馬虎,回家時往往已是披星戴月。偶爾外城的鋪面有事,當地掌櫃束手無策時,還要風餐露宿趕過去處置。
  在沈玨記憶裡,沈清軒一天安生日子都沒有過。總是忙忙碌碌,早上還在西街商鋪,晚上卻是從城東碼頭趕回家。
  尤其是逢年過節,旁人盡可享受節日喜樂,唯獨他要在書房裡將一年年的虧盈全部理遍,沈家分佈的商鋪下人一一都要算清,安排節日禮,結算賞錢……等等諸多事,不一而足。
  之所以如此繁重,概因從前沈老爺主事,還有信服的幫手照顧左右,替他打理事務,核算盈虧以後再給沈老爺過目。沈清軒卻沒有這樣的幫手,因為他是沈家壞了名聲的主人——他的名聲壞透了。堂堂男兒,卻和一個妖精糾纏不清,若是美豔的女妖也就罷了,還是個男妖,想一想便覺得噁心。
  壞了名聲的沈清軒身邊沒有一個人敢來幫他。不是沒人想,而是即使有這個意願,也會被家裡人很快阻止,都說萬一惹沈清軒生了氣,被他身邊的妖物吞了怎麼辦。
  命總是比銀錢重要的。
  所有的事,沈清軒只能自己親力親為。他從來不辯駁一句。
  他默默做了所有事,且做許多許多善事,然而善事他也只能低調的做。捐銀修橋,出資蓋書院,修建善堂安置城中流浪漢……他從不以自己的名義做一件好事,只以沈家的名頭去做。那些享了他好處的人,明知道是沈家現任家主寬厚才有的好處,也從來不說,只說到底是沈家名門望族。
  沈清軒的日子就這麼一天天過下來,可從來也沒聽他說過一句後悔,更沒有一句抱怨。
  沈玨越大,越對他滿滿敬服。
  只是他們都不知道,也有偶爾。
  偶爾在除夕夜桌上,當沈清軒安頓好所有親眷,賞下所有銀錢紅利,走進沈家團圓飯的大廳,在鴉雀無聲的靜寂中,上前給各位親朋好友祝完酒,然後告辭離開時。
  明亮的喜樂被他拋在身後,走進黑暗的那一瞬間,會有那麼一閃念,沈清軒會念起從前年夜飯桌上,他同父親講故事,同族人談天論地。人聲鼎沸,熱酒佳餚的境況。
  那樣的境況再未出現過。
  
  他持著紅紅的燈籠,離開溫暖熱鬧的大廳,走上黑暗道路,只有手中微弱的燭光照亮腳下彎曲小徑,他要走過寒風蕭瑟,穿過懸著冰綹的屋簷,在遙遙入耳的爆竹聲中,行過長長道路,才能回到南院。
  回到有伊墨和小寶的院子裡。那裡有溫熱的酒席在等他,有時也有許明世。
  後來,應該是第四個年頭開始,伊墨會帶著小寶在院門口等他,穿的圓墩墩的孩子遠遠看到他,立刻開心的像個胖球一樣跑過來迎他,抱住他的腿撒嬌,再牽著他的手往回走。
  又過了兩年,沈玨個頭高了不少,便拖著父親,從南院一直拖一直拖,使出吃奶的力氣,把他從南院一路拖到沈家正廳前,伊墨臉色再冷也動搖不了他的決心,小小的人堅決又固執,寒冬臘月也累出滿身汗水的把他拖到門前等候。
  
  說完祝酒辭準備離開的沈清軒從大廳里拉開門,一眼就看到等候他的兩人。
  小寶舉著燈籠,大聲喊爹爹,他的嗓門特別大,震的枯枝上的積雪都往下落。
  他大聲喊:“爹爹,我和父親接你回去吃年飯!”
  沈清軒怔了一下,他從未在伊墨之外的人面前失態過,那一刻卻分明怎麼也忍不住,筆直站在那裡,突然落下淚來。
  他沒有顧上掩好大廳的門,就那麼疾步走過去,一把將兒子舉起抱住,埋頭在孩子瘦小的胸口一動不動,熱騰騰的淚水被嶄新的棉衣吸收乾淨。
  沒有多久,有人將他懷裡的孩子抱開,牽起他的手,淡淡一句:“回去吃年飯。”
  他狠狠點頭,牢牢握住那只冰冷的手,看他身影高大,單手抱著兒子,一手牽著他,火紅的燈籠被小寶一隻手提著,一晃一晃,照亮孩子臉上笑容,照亮他們前方的路。
  從此之後,每年除夕,他們都會走很長一段路,一直走到沈家的正廳前等待,等門內的沈清軒說完祝酒辭,拉開木門,一眼就能看到他們。
  隨著一年年小寶從未改變的呼喊聲,他總是快步走出來,牽起兩人的手,並肩談笑著回到南院。回到屬於他們的世界。
  
  沈玨知道,這天底下最可憐的是他爹。然而最不需要可憐的也是他爹。
  看著他眼下的青紫,沈玨輕手輕腳,收拾好案上兩人抄寫的佛經,同伊墨示意了一下,抱著經卷走出南院,趕去奶奶的佛堂。
  一路上丫頭們看到他紛紛躲避,膽大的也有,沖他萬福,喊一聲“小少爺”。沈玨便沖她點點頭,笑一下,繼續往前走。
  穿過梅林,踏上臺階。沈玨拍門喊“奶奶”。
  沈老爺叫不開,沈清軒也叫不開的木門稍後便打開了,鬢角灰白的婦人站在門前,沖他微微笑著伸出手。
  沈玨牽上她的手走進去,裡面的佛相都被掩蓋上。沒有能傷到他的任何東西。
  他坐在蒲團上,將抄好的經文遞過去,然後同奶奶說話,說的都是爺爺和爹的事,她從來不問,但沈玨總是說的,說到後來,也總會照例問一句:“奶奶什麼時候見我爹和爺爺?”
  她的奶奶只會搖頭。永遠都在搖頭。
  
  沈玨就不再問,拉著奶奶的手同她撒撒嬌,然後告別。
  他一直無功而返,但並未氣餒,這一次不成,還有下一次。
  就像沈清軒要伊墨嫁他,這次不成,還有下次。
  沈清軒總是說,也許下次就成了。
  
  出了佛堂,沈玨往回走,路上遇到管家爺爺,停住腳步說了會兒話,管家爺爺喜愛他,總是說他來沈家第一頓飯,就是他找來的。說著便塞給他許多小點心。沈玨知道管家爺爺身體不好,常常會心慌氣短,大夫讓他備些點心在身上,不舒服了就吃點東西。沈玨只拿了一部分,剩下的任管家爺爺怎麼給都堅決不肯再拿。
  管家爺爺沒有辦法,歎一句太懂事的孩子命不好,讓他明天去找沈老爺,沈老爺要帶他去玩。沈玨滿口答應,他喜歡和爺爺玩,爺爺時間多,又總是開心的笑呵呵,不像他爹忙碌無休,也不像他父親連笑容都很少見。
  回到南院時沈清軒已經醒了,正在和伊墨糾纏著,糾纏一個已經談論了幾百遍的話題。
  看到他進來,沈清軒伸手一指他,對伊墨笑眯眯地道:“咱們兒子都這麼大了,你還不肯嫁我,難不成你還想拋棄我們父子,嫁給別人麼?”
  伊墨閉著眼,嗤了一聲,連回應都懶得回。
  沈玨對這種爭論早習以為常,走進亭子裡收拾筆墨鎮紙,喊來丫頭,讓她把東西抱回屋。
  南院只剩一個丫頭,活做得多,銀錢也得的多,也是整個沈府唯一一個不怕他們父子三人的丫頭。上前來收拾完畢,丫頭又跑來問什麼時候開飯。
  沈清軒說:“現在罷,就在這擺。”又沖沈玨道:“你去幫她。”
  丫頭應一聲,剛下了涼亭三個臺階,忍不住提著裙擺回頭幫自己主家說話,道:
  “伊公子就從了老爺吧,我家老爺待你多好,你嫁他也不虧。”
  沈玨沒料到會有這出,“噗嗤”一下笑了。沈清軒愣了一下更是哈哈大笑,連伊墨都忍不住睜開眼,看了看小丫頭,看半天,回答道:“不嫁。”
  他不回也罷,回了沈清軒更是笑的厲害,笑道:“你看,都看出來我待你好,快些從了我才是正經事。”被伊墨一把扯下來,直接堵了那張討厭的嘴。
  丫頭還未嫁人,“呀——”地一聲捂住臉,一邊笑著一邊拉著沈玨快步走向小廚房。
  兩人在廚間收拾飯食,沈玨力氣大,零零散散的東西收拾在食盒裡,也不要丫頭辛苦,自己一手一個五層高的食盒,提著就回來了。
  
  餐食擺好,飯席上沈玨問他爹:“今天不用去忙商鋪?”
  “不去,今天歇息一天,明日也歇息,小寶想出門玩嗎?”
  沈玨搖頭:“爺爺讓我明天去找他,他要帶我出去玩。今天就在家裡,爹爹可以和父親去山上泡溫泉,歇息歇息。”
  沈清軒知道他體恤自己,便點頭應了,他們父子相處時間其實不多,概因當上家主,權勢雖有,人心卻一點都無,更因為和伊墨的情事傳揚出去,威信立起來更不容易,如今商鋪根基已穩,他盤算著日後可以輕省些,多陪陪兒子。
  沈玨看出他的神態,安慰道:“沒事的爹,我有那麼多功課,還有爺爺奶奶,隔一段時間還有父親陪我去山上玩,我很好,你不用擔心。”
  沈清軒“嗯”了一聲,不再說話。給伊墨和小寶各夾了一筷子菜,專心致志吃飯。
  
  伊墨實在不喜人間煙火,味道雖好,濁氣卻重,他是修行的妖,早已脫離五穀輪回。只是拒絕不了沈清軒的好意,每次來他這裡,都要沾染一身濁氣,然後回山調息,將濁氣清理出去。
  時間久了,回山的次數越來越少,身上濁氣越來越重。
  伊墨可煩這個。活了一千多年了,還要和人類一樣,去五穀輪回之所,這都是什麼事。
  然而他什麼都不說。沈清軒夾什麼,他便吃什麼。
  沈清軒其實是知道的,他這樣一個人,哪裡會看不出來,只是裝作不知,希望能讓他多沾些人間煙火氣。連帶著沈玨也裝作不知,在山上捕到獵物,總要烹給伊墨吃。
  伊墨知道他們知道,也裝著不知道他們知道。
  於是就有人喂有人吃,吃的人吃到受不了這份污濁,就回山調息,調息完在山上呆膩了,就下山來沈家南院,繼續受這份污濁氣。
  
  飯席收罷,沈玨去屋裡小睡,丫頭端了個凳子坐在牆根下做未完的針線,穿針走線的間隙,也會抬頭看一眼亭子裡下棋的兩人。金秋的陽光不燥不烈,十分靜好。手談的兩人偶爾說話,聲音不大,風一吹就走了,彼此面上都是溫軟的,互相取笑,手下搏殺。
  風景如畫。
  丫頭複又低下頭,繼續做活,直到夕陽西下,她將手中絲線咬斷,取下竹繃抖了抖衣裳。
  雪白一件中衣,衣襟繡著雅致紋路,衣擺上小小一朵並蒂蓮花,蓮花邊繡了四個字——百年好合。
  伊墨抬頭看了她一眼,眼底似有微光。
  丫頭一點也不怕他,淘氣的沖他眨眨眼,收拾東西離開,替三人準備晚飯。
  
  晚間沐浴完畢,沈清軒走出屏風,擦拭著髮絲,低頭看見身上雪白中衣,不是常穿的那件,更有一朵並蒂蓮花和那四個字,十分娟秀。
  沈清軒笑著走向床榻,同榻上人說:我來同你百年好合。
  
  鴛鴦戲水的帷帳緩緩落下,掩住了他們的世界。

————————————————

Shen Qingxuan never knew about his mother. If Yi Mo hadn’t told him, he would have been kept in the dark for his whole life. Yi Mo didn’t hide it from him on purpose, but felt that it didn’t matter whether he knew or not. Things had come to this point. The temperaments of mother and son would not suddenly become close just because they talked about it. Distant is always distant. That was the distance accumulated over the years, and only time can make up for it. But Shen Qingxuan didn’t have many years left to live, so why should he feel guilty before he died.

Moreover, even if they were distant, Shen Qingxuan still respected and loved Madam Shen. This was evident from the fact that he copied Buddhist scriptures for Madam Shen when he had nothing to do. Not only did he copy them himself, but even Xiaobao was forced to copy them.

When Yi Mo returned from the mountains and entered the courtyard, he saw his father and son in the pavilion, each with a desk, copying Buddhist scriptures with their heads down. It was autumn, and the three hundred-year-old osmanthus trees in the courtyard were in bloom. The sweet fragrance was carried by the autumn wind and spread far away.

Several little maids in the Shen Mansion stood on tiptoe from a distance, sniffing the sweet osmanthus fragrance coming from the south courtyard.

But none of them dared to approach the South Courtyard, and they didn’t even have the courage to pick a few osmanthus flowers to put in the vase, for fear that the goblins in the South Courtyard would tear them apart and swallow them.

In fact, ten years have passed, and no one has heard of goblins eating people. It’s just that everyone has a fear of them. They are not only afraid of goblins, but also the head of the Shen family who lives with goblins. Compared with the goblins of different species, Shen Qingxuan, who dares to get entangled with goblins, is the object of their greater fear. This fear is unreasonable, and the world itself does not have so many reasons.

Three or four maids had nothing to do and gathered together to discuss quietly, trying to push someone to pick flowers.

Pushing and shoving, no one dared to take the risk. They stood quietly at the foot of the south courtyard wall, staring at the osmanthus trees that were taller than the wall, helpless.

Just as they were about to leave, the osmanthus tree swayed a few times without wind, and a few branches fell down and landed at their feet spontaneously, without damaging any of the densely blooming golden flowers.

The maids were startled at first, but suddenly realized what was going on. They picked up the branches and ran away. After they ran far away, they came to their senses and bowed to the South Courtyard from afar.

After sending away the little girls, Yi Mo turned around and looked at the father and son in the pavilion.

In front of the desk, the sandalwood incense was curling. Shen Qingxuan was wearing a white robe, untied his crown, tied his hair with a piece of green silk , and bent over the desk to write down the scriptures silently. Shen Jue was sitting on the small desk beside him, also following his example, tied his hair with a silk ribbon, and holding a brush, writing the scriptures for his grandmother stroke by stroke.

Both father and son had sullen expressions on their faces , and there was a kind of dignity and solemnity in the morning light.

Yi Mo watched from afar, hiding his figure on his own accord, and did not go forward to disturb them. Shen Jue was very perceptive, and knowing that he was coming, he just glanced in his direction, smiled, revealing two small canine teeth, and then bent over the desk to copy scriptures.

Madam Shen didn’t know Shen Qingxuan’s feelings for her, just as Shen Qingxuan always thought that his mother had no love for him. Only Yi Mo knew, and only Yi Mo could see, when he silently copied the Buddhist scriptures, the halo emanating from his body, which was the Buddha appearance that only truly pious people had.

His mind was empty but pious; and his heart had something to hope for, so every stroke of his pen was expressive of piety.

Yi Mo knew that Madam Shen would not go to hell because she had such a pious son who prayed for her with every stroke of his pen. Even if she had committed countless sins, in front of such a pious heart, the Buddha’s light would shine upon her and she would be spared.

Finally, after writing the last word, Shen Qingxuan put down his pen. He blew on the wet ink on the paper and looked around. Yi Mo was hiding , but he could accurately keep his eyes on him, slowly raised the corners of his lips, revealing a soft smile.

The voice was full of joy, saying, “You are here."

Yi Mo untied the spell and walked over slowly. As soon as he got close, he was pulled by his sleeve and grabbed his hand, interlocking their fingers. Shen Qingxuan leaned over, rubbed against him and leaned on him. Yi Mo picked him up, put him on his lap, and leaned against the railing together, watching the white clouds and the leaves swaying in the wind.

Shen Jue did not even raise his head, still concentrating on copying the scriptures. After all, he was young, and his writing was not as skillful as Shen Qingxuan. He was always slower than his father when he was writing a scroll of scriptures at the same time. However, he was not impatient or irritable, and had no intention of competing. He knew that this was the only gift that his grandmother in the Buddhist temple liked, so he wrote attentively. He had not experienced much of the ups and downs of life, but he knew that there were only a few people in the world who truly loved him. Grandpa treated him the most affectionately, giving him whatever he wanted, and was willing to play with him and make trouble with him. When his father was too busy with family affairs, he took him around to play; Grandma was an indifferent person, but she treated him very well, not with sweet words, and she even rarely smiled. But Shen Jue could recognize the kind of kindness and love that came from the bottom of her heart.

Shen Jue was willing to do something for someone who loved him. He felt very happy when he thought about seeing his grandmother smiling at him when he took the copied scriptures to the Buddhist temple. Maybe if his grandmother was happy, she would be willing to see his father.

Yi Mo held Shen Qingxuan in his arms without saying a word, waiting for Xiaobao to finish writing the scriptures. In the silence, time seemed to pass slowly and long. They didn’t speak, just leaning on each other, watching a leaf falling slowly in the wind, and the golden osmanthus flowers also falling in the autumn wind , landing on the soil, still emitting a lingering sweet fragrance.

The person in his arms exudes a faint scent of ink, along with the sweet-scented osmanthus and sandalwood in the air, blending into a unique scent, peaceful and leisurely, making people unable to help but relax. Yi Mo lowered his head and could see his slightly pale face and the light purple under his eyes. This person is always tired. Supporting a family business, dealing with endless tediousness, tolerating cold eyes and rumors, there is no day of ease.

Even if he occasionally had some free time, he would copy scriptures and accompany Shen Jue. There were not many free days in a year.

Yet this was the path he chose.

He could have lived in the mountains and forests as a leisurely young master, drinking wine, appreciating flowers, listening to the wind and rain, and spending leisurely days until the end of his life. But he gave up this easy and smooth path, went down the mountain to take on the responsibility of the eldest son, and took on the honor and disgrace of a family, with almost no leisure time. Whether tired or hard, he was willing, and Yi Mo never said anything. Shen Qingxuan would not say anything, but just quietly leaned on him, and fell asleep naturally a little later.

Shen Jue finally finished writing the last word, put down the pen, and let the wet paper hang out to dry. Turning back, he saw his father leaning on his father’s chest on the white jade beauty railing , already fast asleep, his sleeping face peaceful, the bruises under his eyes particularly obvious.

Shen Jue felt a pang in his heart.

His father was called a monster behind his back, and after being called so many times, Shen Qingxuan also treated himself as a monster. He got up before dawn, washed up, and started a busy day in the dim light. The Shen family’s business was big, and the news of his and Yi Mo’s affair spread in recent years . More and more people with bad intentions took the opportunity to make trouble. Shen Qingxuan dared not to be careless, and often went home at dawn. Occasionally, when there was something wrong with the shop in the outer city, when the local shopkeeper was helpless, he had to go there to deal with it.

In Shen Jue’s memory, Shen Qingxuan never had a peaceful day . He was always busy, working in the shops on West Street in the morning and rushing home from the East City Pier in the evening.

Especially during festivals, when others can enjoy the joy of the festival, he alone has to sort out the year’s losses and profits in his study, calculate the accounts of the servants of the Shen family’s shops one by one, arrange holiday gifts, settle bonuses… and many other things.

The reason why it was so arduous was probably because in the past, when Master Shen was in charge, he had trusted assistants to take care of him, manage his affairs, and calculate the profits and losses before reporting them to Master Shen. Shen Qingxuan did not have such an assistant, because he was the master of the Shen family who had a bad reputation – his reputation was extremely bad. A man was entangled with a demon. If it was a beautiful demon, it would be fine, but it was a male demon, and the thought of it made him feel sick.

No one around Shen Qingxuan, who had lost his reputation, dared to help him. It wasn’t that no one wanted to, but even if they did, they would be quickly stopped by their family members, who said that if they made Shen Qingxuan angry, they would be swallowed by the monsters around him.

Life is always more important than money.

Shen Qingxuan had to do everything himself. He never argued.

He did everything silently, and did many good deeds, but he could only do good deeds in a low profile. He donated money to build bridges, funded the construction of academies, built charity halls to accommodate homeless people in the city… He never did a good deed in his own name, but only in the name of the Shen family. Those who benefited from him, knowing that it was the generosity of the current head of the Shen family, never said anything, only saying that the Shen family was a famous family.

Shen Qingxuan’s days passed like this, but he was never heard to express regret, let alone complain.

The older Shen Jue gets, the more respect he has for him.

It’s just that they don’t know, it happens occasionally.

Occasionally at the New Year’s Eve table, when Shen Qingxuan had settled all his relatives, given out all the silver and bonuses, he walked into the Shen family reunion dinner hall, and in the dead silence, he stepped forward to toast all his relatives and friends, and then said goodbye and left.

The bright joy was left behind by him, and when he walked into the darkness, there would be a flash of thought, Shen Qingxuan would think of the New Year’s Eve dinner table in the past, when he told stories with his father and talked with his clansmen about everything under the sun. There were crowds of people, hot wine and delicious food.

That situation never happened again.

Holding a red lantern, he left the warm and lively hall and walked onto the dark road. Only the faint candlelight in his hand illuminated the winding path under his feet. He had to walk through the cold wind, through the eaves with icicles hanging on them, and along the long road amid the distant sound of firecrackers before he could return to the South Courtyard.

He returned to the courtyard where Yi Mo and Xiao Bao were. There was a warm banquet waiting for him, and sometimes Xu Mingshi would also be there.

Later, it should have been the fourth year, Yi Mo would bring Xiaobao to wait for him at the gate of the yard. The chubby child would see him from afar and immediately run to greet him happily like a fat ball , hug his legs and act coquettishly, and then hold his hand and walk back.

Two years later, Shen Jue had grown a lot taller. He dragged his father from the South Courtyard, using all his strength to drag him all the way from the South Courtyard to the main hall of the Shen family. No matter how cold Yi Mo’s face was, it could not shake his determination. The little man was resolute and stubborn. Even in the cold winter, he dragged him to the door and waited, sweating all over.

After giving a toast and preparing to leave, Shen Qingxuan opened the door from the hall and saw the two people waiting for him at a glance.

Xiaobao held up the lantern and shouted “Daddy" loudly. His voice was so loud that the snow on the dead branches fell down.

He shouted loudly: “Daddy, my father and I will take you back to have the New Year’s Eve dinner!"

Shen Qingxuan was stunned for a moment. He had never lost his composure in front of anyone other than Yi Mo, but at that moment he clearly couldn’t help himself. He stood there straight and suddenly burst into tears.

He did not bother to close the door of the hall. He just walked over quickly, lifted up his son and hugged him, burying his head in the child’s thin chest without moving, his hot tears were absorbed by his new cotton-padded jacket.

Not long after, someone took the child away from his arms, took his hand, and said lightly: “Go back and have the New Year’s Eve dinner."

He nodded vigorously and held the cold hand tightly. He looked at his tall figure, holding his son in one hand and holding his hand with the other. The fiery red lantern was held in Xiaobao’s one hand, swaying back and forth , illuminating the smile on the child’s face and the road ahead of them.

From then on, every New Year’s Eve, they would walk a long way to the main hall of the Shen family and wait. After Shen Qingxuan inside the door finished his toast and opened the wooden door, he would see them at a glance.

With Xiaobao’s calls that never changed year after year, he would always walk out quickly, hold their hands, and walk back to the South Courtyard, talking and laughing side by side, back to their world.

Shen Jue knew that the most pitiful person in the world was his father. However, the person who least needed pity was also his father.

Looking at the bruises under his eyes, Shen Jue tiptoed and put away the Buddhist scriptures they had copied on the table . After a gesture to Yi Mo, he walked out of the South Courtyard with the scriptures in his arms and hurried to his grandmother’s Buddhist hall.

The maids on the way avoided him , and some brave ones bowed to him and called him “Young Master". Shen Jue nodded at them, smiled, and continued walking forward.

After walking through the plum forest and onto the steps, Shen Jue knocked on the door and called out “Grandma".

The wooden door that neither Mr. Shen nor Shen Qingxuan could open finally opened. A woman with gray hair on her temples stood in front of the door, smiling at him and extending her hand.

Shen Jue took her hand and walked in. The Buddha images inside were all covered up. There was nothing that could hurt him.

He sat on the futon, handed over the copied scriptures, and then talked to grandma, all about grandpa and dad. She never asked, but Shen Jue always talked about it. At the end of the conversation, he would always ask as usual: “When will grandma meet my dad and grandpa?"

Her grandmother would just shake her head. She would shake her head forever.

Shen Jue stopped asking questions, took his grandmother’s hand and acted coquettishly with her, then said goodbye.

He always returned empty-handed, but he never gave up. If he failed this time, he could always try next time.

Just like Shen Qingxuan wanted Yi Mo to marry him, if it doesn’t work this time, there will always be next time.

Shen Qingxuan always said, maybe it will work next time.

After leaving the temple, Shen Jue walked back. On the way, he met the housekeeper. He stopped and talked for a while. The housekeeper liked him and always said that he was the one who prepared the first meal for him when he came to the Shen family. As he said that, he stuffed him with many snacks. Shen Jue knew that the housekeeper was in poor health and often felt anxious and short of breath. The doctor asked him to prepare some snacks with him and eat something when he felt uncomfortable. Shen Jue only took a part of it. No matter how much the housekeeper gave him, he refused to take the rest.

The housekeeper had no choice but to sigh that such a sensible child had a bad fate and told him to go to Master Shen tomorrow, who would take him out to play. Shen Jue readily agreed, as he liked playing with his grandfather, who had a lot of time and was always smiling happily, unlike his father who was always busy and rarely smiled.

When they returned to the South Courtyard, Shen Qingxuan had already woken up and was arguing with Yi Mo, arguing about a topic that they had discussed hundreds of times.

Seeing him come in, Shen Qingxuan pointed at him and said to Yi Mo with a smile: “Our son is already so old, and you still don’t want to marry me. Do you want to abandon us father and son and marry someone else?"

Yi Mo closed his eyes, sneered, and was too lazy to even respond.

Shen Jue was accustomed to such arguments. He walked into the pavilion to pack up his pens, ink and paperweights, then called the maid and asked her to carry the things back to the house.

There was only one maid left in the South Courtyard. She did a lot of work and earned a lot of money. She was also the only maid in the entire Shen Mansion who was not afraid of the three of them. After she came forward to clean up, the maid came over again to ask when dinner would be served.

Shen Qingxuan said, “For now, just put it here." Then he said to Shen Jue, “Go help her."

The maid responded, and just as she walked down the three steps of the pavilion, she couldn’t help but lift up her skirt and turned back to speak for her master, saying:

“Mr. Yi, just obey the master. My master treats you very well, and it is not a loss for you to marry him."

Shen Jue didn’t expect this, and he burst out laughing. Shen Qingxuan was stunned for a moment and laughed even louder. Even Yi Mo couldn’t help but open his eyes, looked at the little girl, and after looking at her for a long time, he replied, “I won’t marry."

It would have been fine if he didn’t reply. When he replied, Shen Qingxuan laughed even harder and said, “Look, you can see that I treat you well. The important thing is to obey me as soon as possible." But Yi Mo pulled it off and directly blocked that annoying mouth.

The girl had not married yet. She covered her face with her hands and laughed as she pulled Shen Jue towards the small kitchen.

The two of them were cleaning up the food in the kitchen. Shen Jue was strong, so he packed the scattered things into food boxes. He didn’t want the maid to work too hard, and he came back carrying a five-layer food box in each hand.

The meal was served, and at the table Shen Jue asked his father: “Don’t you have to go to the shop today?"

“No, take a rest today and tomorrow. Do you want to go out and play, Xiaobao?"

Shen Jue shook his head: “Grandpa asked me to go find him tomorrow. He wants to take me out to play. We’ll stay at home today. Daddy and father can go to the mountains to soak in the hot springs and take a rest . “

Shen Qingxuan knew that he was considerate of him, so he nodded in agreement. In fact, they didn’t have much time to spend together as father and son, probably because as the head of the family, although he had power, he had no people’s hearts. Also, because his affair with Yi Mo had spread, it was even more difficult for him to establish his prestige. Now that the shop has a stable foundation, he planned to have more time off in the future and spend more time with his son.

Shen Jue saw his expression and comforted him, “It’s okay, Dad. I have so much homework, and I have grandpa and grandma. My father will accompany me to the mountains to play every once in a while. I’m fine, don’t worry."

Shen Qingxuan said “hmm" and stopped talking. He picked up a piece of food for Yi Mo and Xiao Bao respectively and concentrated on eating.

Yi Mo really didn’t like the worldly life. Although the food tasted good, it was full of foul air. He was a practicing demon who had long since escaped from the cycle of reincarnation. But he couldn’t refuse Shen Qingxuan’s kindness. Every time he came to his place, he would be contaminated with foul air, and then go back to the mountain to regulate his breathing and clear the foul air.

As time went by, I went back to the mountain less and less often, and the foul air in my body became heavier and heavier.

Yi Mo is annoyed by this. After living for more than a thousand years, he still has to go to the place of reincarnation of grains like humans. What is this?

However, he said nothing. He ate whatever Shen Qingxuan picked up.

Shen Qingxuan actually knew about it. How could he not see it? He just pretended not to know, hoping to let him get more exposure to the world. Shen Jue also pretended not to know. Whenever he caught prey in the mountains, he would always cook it for Yi Mo.

Yi Mo knew that they knew, but pretended not to know that they knew.

So some people fed it and some people ate it. When the eaters couldn’t stand the filth anymore, they went back to the mountain to regulate their breathing. After regulating their breathing, they got bored of staying on the mountain, so they went down the mountain to the south courtyard of the Shen family to continue to be exposed to the filthy air.

After the meal, Shen Jue went to take a nap in the house. The maid brought a stool and sat at the foot of the wall to do her unfinished needlework. In the intervals between threading the needle and sewing, she would look up at the two people playing chess in the pavilion. The golden autumn sun was neither hot nor dry, and it was very quiet. The two people who were playing chess occasionally spoke, their voices were not loud, and they left when the wind blew. Their faces were soft, they teased each other, and fought with their hands.

The scenery is picturesque.

The maid lowered her head again and continued to work until the sun set. She bit off the silk thread in her hand, took down the bamboo stretcher and shook her clothes.

It was a snow-white middle garment with elegant patterns embroidered on the lapels and a small lotus flower with two stems on the hem. Four words were embroidered next to the lotus flowers – a happy marriage for a hundred years.

Yi Mo looked up at her, with a gleam in his eyes.

The girl was not afraid of him at all. She winked at him mischievously , packed up her things and left to prepare dinner for the three of them .

After taking a bath in the evening, Shen Qingxuan walked out from behind the screen, wiping his hair. He looked down and saw that he was wearing a snow-white undershirt. It was not the one he usually wore, but there was a pair of lotus flowers and those four words on it, which was very beautiful.

Shen Qingxuan walked towards the bed with a smile, and said to the person on the bed : I want to live with you happily forever.

The curtain of mandarin ducks playing in the water slowly fell down, covering their world.


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