痕書站

　　沈家少爺的蛇毒清退，恢復神志了；沈家少爺能自己進食，倚床看書了；沈家少爺又在院中曬著太陽了……
　　好消息一個一個接踵而來。雖然對沈清軒來說不過是意味著他又可多殘喘幾年，但這並不妨礙老管家一把火將殯儀用品燒成灰燼，更無礙沈老爺大喜之下派出商隊前往極南蠻荒之地，讓出高利以謝那年送來兩顆“解毒聖藥”的商家。
　　宴席鋪開，親朋滿坐。
　　酒香繚繞在山林裡，提心吊膽了幾日的僕人們說話也敢大聲了。
　　
　　沈清軒坐在木輪椅上，身披狐裘大氅，膝上軟絲小被將他雙腿罩得嚴嚴實實，一手攥著薄薄小冊，歪著頭靜靜閱讀。半掩的窗戶裡溜進了些外廳的嘈雜，談笑與鼓樂，還有杯盞交錯的清脆碰撞聲。
　　只是這些，仿佛都與他沒有多大干係。
　　半晌過後，沈清軒感到有些渴，茶水卻已經涼了。將涼透的瓷器攥在手裡，沈清軒想起那日覆在自己額頭的掌心來。雖是完全不同的觸感，可那手與這瓷杯，卻有著一模一樣的溫度。冰冰冷冷，毫無人氣，原來蛇修煉成妖也跳不出自己的原身。
　　思緒轉了轉便回到手邊來，沈清軒搖了搖黃銅鈴鐺，搖畢將那陪伴自己多年的物事攥在手中，習慣性地把玩。
　　聽到鈴鐺召喚的婢女很快推門進來，不待他指使，乖巧的將涼茶潑掉沏上熱水，又將手爐裡炭火撥了撥，重新放在沈清軒腿上。
　　事物處置安妥，婢女才立在一旁輕聲道：“少爺今晚不吃酒，也早些歇了，身子才剛好點，又看書勞神，反倒不好。”
　　沈清軒微微頷首，喝了一盞茶，又重新拿起書冊來繼續翻閱。
　　婢女見狀將屋裡的油燈又多點了幾盞，使光線更明亮些，這才掩門退出去。
　　
　　片刻功夫，廂房木門又被推開了，沈清軒抬眼去看，門外雲鬢高聳的少婦面帶躊躇地朝內張望。
　　兩人視線對上，沈清軒稍愣神，很快微微一笑，張口雖發不出聲，口型卻明明白白地喊了一聲：二娘。
　　“小軒。”雖年輕，卻雍容的少婦也放鬆了神情，邁過門檻走了進來，“好些了吧？”
　　沈清軒點點頭。
　　“自從你被毒蛇咬傷，家裡人急壞了，”婦人傾身坐在一旁的椅上，神色溫軟，略帶傷感地摸了摸他的臉，見他消瘦至此，不是不心疼地道：“姐姐一直在佛堂裡為你祈福，聽說你好了又去還願。今日趕不及來看你，我就帶你弟弟來了。”
　　沈清軒只是微笑，取過手邊筆墨，在紙上寫道：
　　勞煩二娘費心，弟弟既一同來了，且叫他來同我說說話，娘親身體如何。
　　婦人看了看，細緻的回道：“天色晚了，你弟弟性子又鬧，我只讓他明天再來陪你。姐姐身體很好，前兒還特意下廚做了素筍叫家裡人嘗。只是你被蛇咬的事不曉得哪個多嘴小廝傳給了她，哭了兩天，在經堂替你祈福。幸而佛祖保佑，姐姐知道你無恙，又去廟中還願了。”
　　沈清軒聽了，心裡自是難受，發了好一會呆，才提筆又寫了些話。與她清談。
　　
　　婦人道，“這山中猛獸毒蟲叫人防不勝防，不如你同我一道回家。也省得家裡人掛念，我和姐姐畢竟是婦道人家，不好總是出門看你。”
　　沈清軒寫上：
　　猛獸雖多，卻也不輕易傷人，小廝們照顧妥善，此次實屬意外。山中氣候適宜，郎中也說我須靜養。回家雖好，到底不如山中安靜。
　　婦人見了微歎一聲，知他必不肯回去，就不再勸說。又想起一事，忙道：“來前姐姐囑咐我，叫我問問你，可有心儀的女兒家？”
　　沈清軒愣了一下，連忙提筆寫道：
　　娘親心思我明白，只是身體如此，縱有好女兒肯嫁我，怕也平白辜負人家。香火傳承的事，還勞煩弟弟替我承擔。
　　婦人看著那些墨蹟未乾的筆跡，又歎了一聲：“家裡人都明白。只是你這樣大好兒郎，來世間走一遭，吃盡苦頭不說，連子嗣也不曾留下……我縱不是你親娘，卻也……”
　　她話未說完眼眶已經紅透，連忙低首，許多不可說出口的懊悔和歉疚一起，化作淚滴。
　　沈清軒亦沉默，目光直直的看著婦人微顫的頭顱。不知想到什麼，眼底深沉莫測，似是心思千回百轉。
　　只頃刻，他卻已恢復常態，再次提筆寫道：
　　二娘不必感傷，我命該如此，許前世作惡太多，今世償還。只是身為長子，不能為國為家盡綿薄之力，甚是慚愧。
　　寫到此，他筆鋒一轉，繼續寫道：
　　弟弟剛成人，聰慧非常人可比，只是尚年青，許多事還少歷練，近日聞他意欲入仕，宦海沉浮深不可測，還須二娘多點撥。
　　話題牽涉到親子，婦人果然斂起淚珠，低聲道：“我婦道人家又懂得什麼，倒是你飽讀詩書，若能幫幫你弟弟，那也好不過。”
　　二娘不必自謙。弟弟聰穎過人，只是遇事欠少圓通，二娘在一旁提點，加之又有父親打點，想來平步青雲也非難事。
　　“你盡給我寬心。”婦人放下紙，微露笑意。
　　沈清軒同笑，再次提筆寫道：
　　只是弟弟年輕，就要同兄長責任一併接過，為高堂盡孝，為國盡忠，很是難為他。
　　婦人搖了搖頭，道：“你們是兄弟，這是份內事，莫要說得生分。”
　　又談了片刻，沈清軒面露倦意，婦人連忙囑咐他保重身體，這才離去。
　　
　　她離開後，沈清軒獨自在椅中坐了良久，視線停留在桌上那些寫滿字句的白紙上，不知想到什麼，幽幽露出一道充滿譏諷意味的笑容來。片刻才抬手將紙張整理好，搖鈴喚來侍女，取過鐵盆，一把火將泛著墨香的紙頁化了灰。
　　夜至此已深，外廳的喧鬧也靜泛下來。沈清軒叫人打開窗，裹緊了狐裘倚在椅上看著窗外夜色。這晚星月俱是消瘦，偶有山風吹過，將他額前碎發揚起又落下，一遍複一遍。
　　又是良久功夫，沈清軒突然動了動，抽出暖筒裡的手，將輪椅移到案前，重新鋪開紙墨，寫道：
　　你來了。
　　將紙張推向桌案中央給人看，周圍安靜。
　　沈清軒但笑不語，靜靜等著。
　　
　　惟他一人的屋子，在寂靜了片刻後有了非同一般的景象。
　　只見桌上白紙無風自動，擱在硯臺上的筆桿也立了起來，蘸著墨移到紙上略頓，而後濃墨逐漸勾出文字，字跡端正，似是答沈清軒的話，寫著：
　　你如何得知。
　　沈清軒仍是笑著，且眨了眨眼一副賣關子的神態對著虛空。
　　空氣裡如那日一樣，繚繞著突如其來的草木清香，那味道如雨後森林，泛著冷冽的清新。
　　這氣息，在嘔出污穢黑血昏昏沉沉的那日，出現在周身被腐臭環繞的他身旁，彷如黑暗中一道突兀降臨的光亮，深刻地烙在了沈清軒心裡。
　　終身都沒有忘卻。
　　沈清軒突然吸了吸鼻子，而後有些訝異地提筆寫道：
　　可是去了山頂溫泉。
　　那人依舊未現身，卻自筆架上重新取筆來，在他那問話旁，回了個：
　　是。
　　原先的疑惑卻也叫沈清軒這麼一問，自發解了，溫泉特有的硫磺味道，是沈清軒發問所在，他也得知沈清軒自何處輕易知道了他的到來。
　　嗅覺倒像野獸。
　　卻誰也沒再將這個話題延伸下去，轉而清談其他。
　　沈清軒雖承他開恩，留得一命，心中卻時時謹記他是蛇妖，非我族類。不是不提防的。
　　卻不想這妖如人一般，有名有姓，享受溫泉不說，還在這裡，以紙筆伴他對話了一個時辰。
　　雖言簡意賅字句淡漠，卻有著非常人的耐性。
　　對他這神通廣大的妖來說，更簡潔的對話方式不是沒有，沈清軒就曾領教過。這蛇卻棄置不用。
　　自失語後，家人深怕冷落了他，時常找來交談。卻從未有人肯這般，耐著性子用紙筆一點點寫給他聽。一個時辰的光陰並不長，與人的一生不過沙粒，卻讓他心中的提防瓦解不說，更是生出一種微妙的親近來。
　　將佈滿字跡的紙張取過放置一旁，沈清軒面帶微笑，蘸了墨汁在新鋪開的白紙上繼續與他交談：
　　我若助你順利劫渡，可有回禮。
　　清雋字跡旁很快出現一行端正筆跡，簡潔照舊：
　　許你康復，一如常人。
　　沈清軒手腕一顫，飽飲墨汁的筆尖重重劃在雪白紙上。

————————————————

The snake venom of the young master Shen has been cleared and he has regained consciousness. He can eat by himself and read on the bed. He is basking in the sun in the yard again…

Good news came one after another. Although for Shen Qingxuan it only meant that he could live a few more years, it did not prevent the old housekeeper from burning the funeral supplies to ashes, nor did it prevent Mr. Shen from sending a caravan to the extreme south to offer a high profit to thank the merchant who sent two “antidote holy medicines" that year.

The banquet was spread out and filled with relatives and friends .

The aroma of wine lingered in the forest, and the servants, who had been living in fear for several days, dared to speak louder.

Shen Qingxuan sat in a wooden wheelchair, wearing a fox fur coat, with a soft silk quilt covering his legs tightly, holding a thin booklet in one hand, and reading quietly with his head tilted. Through the half-closed window, some noise from the outer hall slipped in, including laughter, drums, and the crisp clash of cups.

But all these seemed to have little to do with him.

Holding the cold porcelain in his hand, Shen Qingxuan remembered the palm that covered his forehead that day. Although the touch was completely different, the hand and the porcelain cup had exactly the same temperature. It was cold and lifeless. It turned out that even if a snake cultivated into a demon, it could not escape its original body.

His thoughts turned and returned to what was at hand. Shen Qingxuan shook the brass bell, then held the thing that had accompanied him for many years in his hand and played with it as usual.

The maid who heard the bell calling her quickly pushed the door open. Without waiting for his instructions, she obediently poured out the cold tea and poured hot water. She then stirred the charcoal fire in the hand warmer and put it back on Shen Qingxuan’s legs.

After everything was settled, the maid stood by and whispered, “Young Master, don’t drink tonight and go to bed early. You’ve just gotten better, and it’s not good to read and tire yourself out."

Shen Qingxuan nodded slightly, drank a cup of tea, and picked up the book again to continue reading.

Seeing this, the maid lit a few more oil lamps in the room to make the light brighter, then closed the door and left.

After a while, the wooden door of the wing room was pushed open again. Shen Qingxuan looked up and saw a young woman with towering hair outside the door looking inside with hesitation.

When their eyes met, Shen Qingxuan was stunned for a moment, then he smiled slightly. Although he couldn’t make a sound, his mouth shapes clearly called out: Second Mother.

“Xiaoxuan." Although young, the graceful young woman also relaxed her expression and walked over the threshold. “Are you feeling better?"

Shen Qingxuan nodded.

“Since you were bitten by a poisonous snake, your family has been worried," the woman leaned over and sat on a chair beside him. She looked gentle and touched his face with a little sadness. Seeing how thin he was, she said with heartache, “I have been praying for you in the temple. I went to fulfill my wish when I heard you got better. I couldn’t come to see you today, so I brought your brother here."

Shen Qingxuan just smiled, took the pen and ink at hand, and wrote on the paper:

Thank you for your concern, second mother. Since my younger brother has come with us, please ask him to talk to me and ask how mother is feeling.

The woman took a look and replied carefully, “It’s getting late, and your brother is in a bad mood again, so I asked him to come and accompany you tomorrow. I’m in good health, and I even cooked some vegetarian bamboo shoots for the family the other day. But I don’t know which gossipy servant told her about your snake bite, so she cried for two days and prayed for you in the scripture hall. Fortunately, the Buddha blessed me, and I knew you were fine, so I went to the temple to fulfill my wish."

Shen Qingxuan felt uncomfortable after hearing this, and was stunned for a long time before picking up his pen to write something more.

The woman said, “There are so many ferocious beasts and poisonous insects in this mountain that it’s hard to guard against them. Why don’t you come home with me? That way, my family won’t worry about you. After all, my sister and I are women, so it’s not appropriate for us to go out to see you all the time."

Shen Qingxuan wrote:

Although there are many ferocious beasts, they are not easy to hurt people. The servants took good care of me. This was an accident. The climate in the mountains is suitable, and the doctor also said that I need to rest. Although it is good to go home, it is not as quiet as in the mountains.

The woman sighed slightly, knowing that he would not go back, and stopped trying to persuade him. Then she remembered something and said hurriedly, “Before I came here, my sister asked me to ask you if you have a girl you like?"

Shen Qingxuan was stunned for a moment, then quickly picked up his pen and wrote:

I understand my mother’s thoughts, but my health is so bad that even if a good daughter is willing to marry me, I am afraid I will let her down. I will trouble my brother to take care of the inheritance of the family line for me.

The woman looked at the wet handwriting and sighed again: “Everyone in the family understands. But a good boy like you came to this world, not only did you suffer a lot, but you didn’t even leave any offspring… Even though I’m not your biological mother, I also…"

Her eyes were already red before she finished speaking, and she quickly lowered her head, and the many unspeakable regrets and guilt turned into tears.

Shen Qingxuan was also silent, staring straight at the woman’s trembling head. It was unknown what he was thinking about, his eyes were deep and unfathomable, as if his mind was turning over a thousand times.

In just a moment, he recovered and wrote again:

Second Mother, don’t be sad. This is my fate. I did too much evil in my previous life, and I have to pay for it in this life. But as the eldest son, I am ashamed that I cannot do my best for my country and my family.

Having written this, he changed his tone and continued:

My younger brother has just become an adult, and his intelligence is incomparable to ordinary people. However, he is still young and has not experienced many things. Recently, I heard that he wants to enter the officialdom . The ups and downs of officialdom are unpredictable, so he still needs more guidance from Second Mother.

When the topic involved parent-child relations, the woman really held back her tears and whispered, “What do I know as a woman? You are well-read, so if you can help your brother, that would be great."

Second Mother, there is no need to be modest. My younger brother is extremely intelligent, but he lacks tact when encountering things. With Second Mother’s guidance and Father’s help, it should not be difficult for him to rise to a high position.

“Just give me some peace of mind." The woman put down the paper and smiled slightly.

Shen Qingxuan laughed as well, and picked up his pen again to write:

But the younger brother is young, and he has to take over the same responsibilities as his older brother, being filial to his parents and loyal to his country, which is very difficult for him.

The woman shook her head and said, “You are brothers. This is part of your job. Don’t make it seem so awkward."

After talking for a while, Shen Qingxuan looked tired, and the woman hurriedly told him to take care of himself before leaving.

After she left, Shen Qingxuan sat alone in the chair for a long time, his eyes fixed on the white papers on the table, and he smiled with a hint of sarcasm, thinking of something. After a while, he raised his hand to put the papers in order, rang the bell to call the maid, took the iron basin, and burned the pages with the scent of ink into ashes.

It was late at night, and the noise in the outer hall had also quieted down . Shen Qingxuan asked someone to open the window, wrapped himself tightly in fox fur, and leaned on a chair to look out the window at night. The stars and the moon were both thin that night, and occasionally a mountain breeze blew by, lifting and dropping the strands of hair on his forehead, over and over again.

After a long time, Shen Qingxuan suddenly moved, took out his hands from the warming tube, moved the wheelchair to the table, spread out the paper and ink again, and wrote:

You are here.

Push the paper to the center of the table and show it to people. Keep quiet around.

Shen Qingxuan just smiled and said nothing, waiting quietly.

The room where he was alone saw an unusual scene after a moment of silence.

The white paper on the table moved without any wind, and the pen on the inkstone stood up. It dipped the ink and moved it to the paper, then gradually outlined the words with thick ink. The handwriting was neat, and it seemed to be a response to Shen Qingxuan’s words. It read:

How do you know.

Shen Qingxuan was still smiling, and blinked at the void with an expression that kept a secret.

Just like that day, the air was filled with the sudden fragrance of grass and trees. The smell was like a forest after rain, with a cool and fresh feeling.

This breath appeared beside him on the day when he was vomiting filthy black blood and feeling dizzy, while he was surrounded by the stench . It was like a ray of light that suddenly appeared in the darkness, and it was deeply imprinted in Shen Qingxuan’s heart.

Never forget it for the rest of my life.

Shen Qingxuan suddenly sniffed, and then picked up the pen with some surprise and wrote:

But I went to the mountaintop hot spring.

The man still did not show up, but took a pen from the pen holder and replied to his question:

yes.

The original doubt was solved after Shen Qingxuan asked this question. The unique sulfur smell of the hot spring was the reason why Shen Qingxuan asked the question. He also learned how Shen Qingxuan knew of his arrival so easily.

The sense of smell is like that of a wild animal.

But no one continued the topic and instead talked about other things.

Although Shen Qingxuan was spared his life by his mercy, he always kept in mind that he was a snake demon and not of his kind .

But he didn’t expect that this monster was like a human being , with a name and surname. Not only did it enjoy the hot spring, but it also stayed here and talked with him for an hour using pen and paper.

Although his words are brief and bland, he has extraordinary patience.

For a powerful demon like him, there are more concise ways of communicating. Shen Qingxuan has experienced it before. But the snake abandoned it.

After he became aphasic, his family feared that he would be neglected, so they often called him over to talk. But no one had ever been willing to patiently write to him with pen and paper. An hour is not long, and is just a grain of sand in a person’s life, but it not only made his guard fall apart, but also gave rise to a subtle sense of closeness.

Taking the paper covered with writing and placing it aside, Shen Qingxuan smiled and continued talking to him on the newly spread white paper with ink:

If I help you to cross the siege successfully, I will give you a reward.

neat handwriting soon appeared next to the clear and elegant handwriting, still concise as before:

May you recover and be like a normal person.

Shen Qingxuan’s wrist trembled, and the tip of the pen, soaked in ink, drew heavily on the snow-white paper.