痕書站

　　沈清軒的行走能力恢復了，這是件好事。當他走到父親眼前時，卻敏銳的察覺，自己的爹爹眼中有喜悅和激動，唯獨沒有驚訝。是的，沒有。然而這件事除了他與伊墨，沒有旁人知道。
　　沈清軒疑惑過後，他看了眼身邊的伊墨，伊墨臉上沒有一點神情，淡漠如常，目光看著沈父。就這麼一眼，沈清軒一切都明白了，雖然還不夠細緻，但得到的資訊已經足夠。長時間的親密相處，他已經學會了如何在伊墨的臉上辨別情緒。這是只有最親密的人，才具有的能力。
　　垂下眼，沈清軒一言不發。沈父也沒有露出異樣神情，隨後是擺酒歡慶，同沈清軒恢復言談能力那次一樣，親朋好友都下帖子邀來家中，不醉不歸。
　　
　　酒席三天後撤去，沈清軒休息了片刻，與夜裡去了父親書房，一言不發，安靜跪下。
　　沈父坐在桌後，定定地看著前來請罪的兒子，心中頗為寬慰，還好，總算知道來請罪，並非不知悔改。
　　作為父親，總是希望兒子好的。天下父母，沒有幾個會巴望著自己兒子步上歪道，他也不例外。雖然不介意收養一個人妖結合的孩子做孫子，但不等於同意自己的兒子與妖物做夫妻，況且那妖，還是個男妖。榻上之事，沈父甚至不用問，也知道自己的兒子屈居人下。僅這一件事，沈父已經心中感到屈辱，面上無光了。
　　如今兒子願意前來請罪，只要他肯悔改，做父親的也非狹隘之人，當然可以既往不咎。
　　沈父端起茶盞，飲了一口茶潤嗓，柔聲道：“既然來了，起來說話吧。”
　　沈清軒垂下頭，卻紋絲不動。
　　沈父眼皮跳了一下，“莫非是我想錯了？”
　　沈清軒這才抬起頭來，臉上不露波瀾，問：“父親原是怎麼想的？”
　　他這話一問，沈老爺就知道，有些事情並非是他想的那麼簡單，是的，他怎麼忘了，他兒子五歲時去武師家中玩，為了設計的陷阱逮住一隻麻雀，在人家院中趴了三天，直到逮住為止。他從小就是這樣，長大了又怎麼會輕言放棄？
　　
　　停頓片刻，沈老爺道：“我想的是，你如今身體也好了，該給我生個孫子了。”
　　“父親忘了。”沈清軒靜靜道：“您已經有了一個孫子了，他三月能爬，五月能走，僅六月已經健步如飛，吐詞清楚，若好生教導，將來前途不可鬥量。”
　　“畢竟不是親孫，內外有別。”沈老爺說。
　　“父親可從未這樣教導過我，我只記得父親說，人只分善惡好壞，並無內外異己。莫非是孩兒記錯了？”
　　沈清軒答得行雲流水，沈老爺噎了一下，終於有些忿怒，“你嗓子好了，就學會與父親頂嘴了？我可教過你這些？！”
　　“孩兒不敢。”沈清軒說，弓下身，恭恭敬敬磕了頭，“請父親責罰。”
　　沈父見他模樣，一時也不知該說什麼好。瞪著眼，不說話。
　　沈清軒亦沉默片刻，終是又弓下身，再次磕頭，加重語氣道：“請父親責罰！”這一回，是他逼他。
　　他們父子關係一向融洽，聞得此聲，沈父心頭一震，不敢置信地問：“當真？”
　　“當真。”沈清軒說。
　　沈父叫來管家，請了家法，不允任何人說情問理，只是打。狠狠打！
　　板尺擊打在背上，沈清軒一言不發。
　　
　　他越是咬緊牙關神色從容，沈老爺心中愈是發寒。他們都不曾將事情挑明，卻已經將彼此態度交代的清清楚楚，沈老爺走南闖北，這樣倔強的人也是見識過的，知道打死也枉然，心中就更是寒冷，如墜冰窟。這便是他兒子！——為了一個妖怪，不惜違逆親人，不惜自請家法，所做一切，不過是為了告訴父親，為了那妖，他不計生死，甚至可以不顧親人！
　　板尺終於停下，沈清軒背部已是血跡斑斑，面白如紙，汗滴不停墜落，墜在地上，形成小小水窪。
　　沈父揮退旁人，自己執了板尺，懸在他頭頂，冷聲問：“我只問你，可改了？”
　　“父親，”沈清軒頓了一下，微笑起來：“您曾經說過，我這性子，像極了您。”他已學會如何駕馭人心，僅輕聲一句話，便堵了沈父啞口無言。有時看似最無關緊要的一句話，用在合適的人身上，足以讓對方潰不成軍。就是達不到目的，也可軟化人心。
　　
　　沈父愣在當場，幾乎是一種無法形容的複雜心情，酸澀有之，欣慰有之，忿怒有之，憐愛有之。手中墨黑板尺，再也落不下去。
　　沈清軒低著頭，仿若等待裁決，並無倔強不屈的姿態，因為他知道那只會激怒他，所以他不卑不亢，躬身叩首。
　　額頭重重落在硬石地面，發出一聲聲鈍重悶響。
　　這是兒子對父親的請求，僅限於他們之間的高低尊卑，除此之外，再無其他。一絲猶豫都不曾有過。
　　沈父摔了墨尺，走到窗前，也不知站了多久，心情才平復下來。看著窗外天空的繁星點點，他終於開口道：“你若說服你母親，我就再不管你。”
　　沈清軒匍匐在地，聞聲抬起頭來，看著他的背影，應聲道：“謝父親成全。”又磕了頭，才起身離去。
　　
　　這一夜沈家宅中炸開了鍋。人人都知道大公子挨了打，卻沒有人知道老爺為什麼要打他。
　　沈母早知這個消息，卻不想他竟被打成那樣，背上血肉粘了絹布，剝都剝不下來。沈夫人坐在房裡，自省這漫長一生，相夫教子，不曾有絲毫過錯，兒子曾經性情孤僻過，她未免落人口舌，同意他去山中居住，母子分離多年。好不容易回來，卻挨了這頓毒打。打前沒有一句道理，打完也沒有一句解釋，讓她如何不氣。
　　她本來就是外柔內剛的性子，從沈清軒房裡回來，召了丫鬟，伺候著換下身上素淡衣裙，穿上華服，逢大禮祭祀時才佩戴的首飾也一併取出，慎重戴好，才去了書房，恭恭敬敬對著沈老爺行了妻禮，而後跪下，一言不發。
　　沈老爺原就勞神，心裡鬱了氣，此時見妻子進來，雖沒有開口興師問罪，卻跟兒子一模一樣，往下一跪，什麼都不用說，無聲地逼他。沈老爺起身走到她面前，指著這少年夫妻一路過來的女人，怒極反笑：“他說性子隨我，原來是誑我。你們母子，才是真正一模一樣。都趕著今日來逼我了。”
　　沈夫人抬了頭：“老爺是一家之主，誰敢逼迫。養兒不教，是母親失責，清軒已挨了打，做母親的，自然也不能免過。”說得雖是緩慢，卻言辭錚錚，自有一番執拗傲骨。這還是成婚這麼多年來，沈老爺第一次被她發難問責，一時竟有些手足無措了，瞪著眼，沈老爺說：“你說什麼胡話！”
　　“沒有說胡話。”沈夫人揚起豐潤的保養適宜的雪白下頜，冷笑道：“不過是來領家法。”
　　
　　沈老爺一跺腳，“好得很！”拿起那沾了血跡的墨黑板尺，作勢要打。
　　沈夫人卻取出一張紙：“打完後請老爺簽字畫押。”
　　“那是什麼？”沈老爺察覺不對，稍微冷靜下來。
　　“休書。”沈夫人將紙張鋪開，展與地上，“為妻不賢，教子無方，今日自領家法，甘願被休，逐出沈家。”
　　沈老爺一口氣哽在嗓子裡上不來，臉上憋得通紅，墨尺掉在地上，哐當一聲。
　　沈夫人也是氣極，提起音量，朗聲重複了一遍：“請老爺責罰！”語音乾脆，氣魄隱現。
　　那一聲是帶了決絕的，沈老爺被嚇到，嗓子裡哽住的那口氣倒是順過來，看她半晌，終是歎了一聲，走過去蹲下身道：“你心裡委屈，我知道。”
　　沈夫人抬眼看了看他，又低下頭，顯然怒在心頭。
　　沈老爺扶著她的肩，笑了一聲：“多少年夫妻了，這時候才想起來和我置氣，何必？”
　　沈夫人也不相讓，硬聲道：“也是，多少年夫妻了，這時候才想起來要打我了？”
　　沈老爺啼笑皆非，搖搖頭，“罷了，我知道你心裡不服。這事你也是必須知道的……只是你眼裡揉不得沙子，若是知道了，恐怕下手比我還要狠呢……”
　　沈夫人也是聰明人，只需一想就知這話裡有話，只是不敢置信，“是軒兒？”
　　“起來吧……”扶著妻子起身，夫妻倆走到桌前坐下，沈老爺道：“你先喝點水，我慢慢說給你聽。”
　　不過一個時辰，沈夫人走出書房，回了自己屋裡，面色肅冷，隱約可見怒氣。
　　
　　第二日清晨，丫頭趕去沈清軒的南院裡傳話：夫人請大少爺說話。
　　沈清軒此時正趴在床上，郎中剛給他換完藥，裹了白布修養，聽的丫鬟傳訊，沈清軒睜開眼來，直勾勾地望著玉枕邊的雕花，心歎一聲這皮肉之苦又要受了，唉，好歹讓他休養幾天不是？怎麼說，他都是個孱弱書生呢。
　　起身穿好衣裳，沈清軒被丫頭們扶著，趕往母親房裡。
　　脊背的疼痛讓他一路上也不知流了多少汗，汗又濕了傷口，重新流出血染紅了白布，等行至母親院中，淺藍外袍已被紅色洇透。
　　丫頭們扶著他，等沈清軒在沈夫人面前跪下時，才一聲驚呼，指著他的背部：“少爺，傷口又流血了！”
　　沈母走過去看了一眼，自然心疼，心疼之外卻是更多怒氣，摒退下人，沈母坐回椅上，一字一句問：“你爹說的可是真的，有沒有冤枉了你？”
　　沈清軒沉默了一下，答道：“孩兒沒有冤屈。”
　　“這麼說，你是認了？”
　　“是。”
　　“傷風敗俗！”沈夫人擰起眉，恨恨斥道：“辱沒家風！”
　　沈清軒跪在那，神情從容地道：“是。”
　　沈夫人被他這副模樣氣摔了茶盞，“你改不改？！”
　　沈清軒不答。
　　“你若改了，我尚可既往不咎，明日給你定門親事，往後你就在家中打理家業，與妻子好生相處，生下一兒半女……”
　　“娘。”沈清軒截斷她的話，言辭也冷冽幾分：“不改又如何？”
　　“你若死不悔改，我就將你逐出家門，從今往後，沈家再無長子！”
　　“娘親雖有巾幗之風，沈家如今主事卻是兒子，這件事連父親也未有驅逐的念頭，娘親一介女流，嫁夫從夫，夫死從子，如何有這種違逆念頭來？！”沈清軒抬起眼，一字一句狠聲道：“莫非當父親死了麼！”
　　沈夫人僵在原地，怒喝一聲：“逆子！”
　　沈清軒望著她，頃刻後突地笑了起來：“孩兒不孝，請娘親責罰。”
　　“好，”沈母捂著胸口，“我趕不得你，尚可打得你。今日我便打死了你，來日我自向沈家祖宗請罪！”言畢喚來奴僕，持了棍杖進來，看著跪在那處的兒子，又問一句：“打死，還是改了？”
　　“娘親怎會不知，”沈清軒頭也不抬，乾脆道：“孩兒已經是死了多少回的人了，豈會怕死？”
　　沈母也笑了，向來高貴的臉上終是扭曲幾分，“好，好得很。我當真福厚，養了你這麼個好兒子！”一聲令下，那僕人不敢違抗，實木棍杖狠狠落下。
　　
　　沈清軒閉眼跪著，十杖過後終是撐不住，被打的屈下身來，雙手撐著地，牙根都咬出了血。
　　也不覺淒慘，只想著這是該受的，就生生受了。只是胸口鬱結了一口氣，這口氣在對上父親時並無感覺，對上母親時，這口氣就不知從何處跑了出來，竄到胸口上，明知道母親性情，只可軟磨，不能硬頂，卻也壓不下這口氣，終是頂了上去，硬碰硬，非要撞個玉石俱焚。
　　既然頂上了，就只能頂下去，沈清軒明白得很，對這樣的人，這樣的性情，只有頂到極致了，才會有人肯服輸。
　　他就是要她輸上一回。他就是要她認輸，他就是要她承認，這一生尚有汙跡，並非事事圓滿。並非不敬母親，而是太敬，敬到心生怨懟，也只能用這種傷人傷己的方式發洩出來。
　　二十脊杖過後，沈清軒趴在地上，隱約聽到一聲門響，屋門被人自外推開，光線透了進來。屋裡卻鴉雀無聲。
　　
　　沈清軒知道有異，掙扎著回過頭，卻見門口處站著伊墨，黑袍長髮，逆光而立，說不出的高貴華麗，宛若神祗。
　　伊墨伸出手，那僕人突地丟了棍杖，懸浮在空中，宛如被人扼住了喉嚨般掙扎，卻立刻兩眼翻白，已然垂死。
　　“伊墨，”沈清軒輕喚一聲：“放了他。”
　　伊墨聞聲松了手，將那人丟到一旁，走了過去。在沈清軒身旁蹲下，伊墨將他扶起來，沉聲道：“你就這點謀略。”
　　沈清軒勉強站住，嘿嘿笑了一聲：“我就想這麼做而已。”
　　他這麼一說，伊墨就明白了，看他片刻，伊墨道：“你倒是狠。”
　　對人狠，對自己也狠，這樣的人，也算是天下少有。沈清軒只是笑，笑裡帶了幾分靦腆，像是被他這句話說得不好意思了似的。
　　沈夫人坐在椅上，原本見兒子被打的快要斷氣，心頭已經發軟，卻拉不下臉來，此時伊墨來了，僕人停了手，她雖想下這個臺階，卻又看著站在那的兩人氣不打一處來，臺階擺好了，此時卻不肯下了。
　　
　　“還不跪下！”沈夫人怒斥一聲，沈清軒立時又跪下了，姿態從容，跪得天經地義，沈母心頭火稍滅一點，目光看向伊墨，恰好伊墨回過頭來，兩人目光相對，伊墨神情並不冷厲，只是一貫淡漠，卻看得沈夫人身上一冷，仿佛被威懾到了的生出幾分懼怕來。她是官家小姐，下嫁商賈，本來就心高氣傲，此時無法容忍自己被嚇到，目光轉向沈清軒，一字一句拋出一句話來。
　　她說：“我當年，生的可是小子，不是丫頭！”
　　她話音一落，沈清軒臉上又白兩分，真是面白如紙了。低頭跪在地上，他讓那喘過氣的奴僕站起來，拿好棍杖，繼續打。
　　“打！”沈清軒淡淡道，“老夫人讓你們打死，你們就往死裡打，若打不死，明日我就差人剝了你的皮。”
　　僕人持著棍杖，先前被伊墨駭到，現在又被少爺逼迫，真是兩難的不知該怎麼辦才好，苦著臉站在那，恨不得挖個地縫躲起來。
　　沈清軒說打，伊墨不發一言，眼風掃了眼僕人，那僕人就臉上蒼白，顫抖著後退兩步。
　　
　　沈清軒見狀低聲道：“伊墨，你先走吧。”
　　伊墨說：“嗯？”尾音上揚，極其不悅。
　　“這是我的家事，你管不了。”沈清軒笑了下：“你回房去。我若沒死，一會就來找你。”
　　伊墨重新蹲下身，兩人面對著面，互相看了片刻，伊墨道：“罷了，我娶你，如何？”
　　沈清軒笑道：“你沒聽我娘說，她生的是個小子，不是丫頭。只能我娶你。”
　　“你做這一切，就為娶我？”伊墨道：“你知道我不會應的。”
　　“無妨。”沈清軒氣定神閑，“我鋪好路，來不來隨你。”頓了頓，又道：“反正我還能活些年，我就等下去，路我給你鋪好，你想好了，隨時可嫁來。”
　　看了眼椅上略顯呆滯的母親，沈清軒靜靜道：“這一路的障礙我給你掃平。我要娶你，這是我應當做的。”
　　伊墨知他心意已決，一時也無話可說，沉默片刻道：“想好了？”
　　“早就想好了。”沈清軒笑。
　　“若是被打死，你還能娶得上我？”
　　“打死我就不纏著你，該高興才是。”沈清軒目光幽幽地看向別處，眼底陰鬱，緩緩道：“我活著，母親為恥；我死了，你恢復自在。我若真被打死，你們都可解脫。”
　　“我若死了，可真是喜事一樁。
　　“當擂鼓慶賀，舉族同歡。”
　　
　　伊墨聽著，看著，就知道他原來真是這樣想的。他真是這樣想的——活著是家人之恥，卻還想活著，死了還他自由，也是願意死的。他根本，不在意這條命，只是活著一天，就做一天應該做的事，所以操持家務兢兢業業，這是他為人子的責任。所以跪在這裡被打到遍體鱗傷也甘願，這是他唯一的個人意願。他所有做的，不過是他應該做的，被打死，他願意。能苟活，他也願意。
　　其實，是根本沒有期望了。
　　伊墨的手放在他肩上，掌下骨頭突出，仍是沒有多少肉。清瘦而孱弱，卻又執拗的堅硬，從來不肯認輸。到這個步田地，仍要拼死一搏，不惜玉石俱焚。
　　就是這樣的性子，明知無望，卻又從不死心。
　　沈清軒不知道他在想起什麼，只湊上前去，滿是血腥的唇貼過去，親了親他的臉，仍是言之鑿鑿的那句話：“你知道的，我要娶你。”說得那麼斬釘截鐵，伊墨卻第一次從這句話裡，聽出那藏得極好的小心翼翼，他明明是說：我可不可以娶你。是說：你可不可以嫁給我？那些往日裡藏著掩著，不肯露出絲毫的惶惑和脆弱，這一瞬，被伊墨聽得明明白白。
　　他一直都是害怕的，像是溺水的人唯一能抓住的一根浮木，只能死死抓住，卻又不停擔心著浮木會不會撞碎，會不會消失。
　　因為一旦消失，唯一活下去的理由，都不存在。
　　明明絕望又執拗，卻始終偽裝的沈清軒。伊墨微微閉上眼，胸口湧上一股陌生的酸楚來，想將這個人抱起來，抱在胸前，揉進懷裡，碾壓撕碎，和著血肉吞下的心情。這樣你就不會再害怕了。
　　
　　房門又一次被推開，沈父站在門檻處，望著屋內情形。屋內鴉雀無聲，只有對視的一對男子，端坐在椅上面色灰敗的婦人，持著棍杖無聲哭泣的僕從。
　　沈父輕歎一聲：“都罷了，夫人回房歇息去吧。”招手讓那僕從扶起沈清軒回房，沈老爺對伊墨道：“今年新茶剛剛送來，陪我嘗嘗吧。”
　　伊墨隨著他去書房，沈清軒走出房門，對著燦爛天空眯起了眼。
　　陽光正好。

————————————————

Shen Qingxuan’s ability to walk has been restored, which is a good thing. When he walked in front of his father, he keenly noticed that there was joy and excitement in his father’s eyes, but no surprise. Yes, no. However, no one else knew about this except him and Yi Mo.

After Shen Qingxuan was puzzled, he glanced at Yi Mo beside him. Yi Mo’s face was expressionless, indifferent as usual, looking at Shen’s father. With just one glance, Shen Qingxuan understood everything. Although it was not detailed enough, the information he got was enough. After a long period of close contact, he had learned how to distinguish emotions on Yi Mo’s face. This is an ability that only the closest people have.

Shen Qingxuan lowered his eyes and said nothing. Shen’s father did not show any strange expression either, and then he held a banquet to celebrate. Just like the time when Shen Qingxuan regained his ability to speak, relatives and friends all sent invitations to come to his home, and they would not leave until they were drunk.

The banquet was cleared away three days later. Shen Qingxuan rested for a while and went to his father’s study at night. He knelt down quietly without saying a word.

Father Shen sat behind the table, looking steadily at his son who came to apologize, and felt quite relieved. Fortunately, he finally knew that his son came to apologize and was not unrepentant.

As a father, he always hopes the best for his son. Few parents in the world would hope that their son would go astray, and he was no exception. Although he didn’t mind adopting a child born from a human-demon union as his grandson, it didn’t mean that he agreed to his son marrying a demon, especially a male demon. Father Shen didn’t even need to ask about what happened on the couch , he knew that his son was inferior to others. Just this one thing made Father Shen feel humiliated and ashamed.

Now that my son is willing to come forward and apologize, as long as he is willing to repent, I, as a father, am not a narrow-minded person and will certainly forgive him for his past mistakes.

Father Shen picked up the teacup, took a sip of tea to moisten his throat , and said softly: “Since you are here, get up and talk."

Shen Qingxuan lowered his head but did not move.

Father Shen’s eyelids twitched, “Could it be that I was wrong?"

Shen Qingxuan then raised his head, his face calm, and asked, “What did father think?"

As soon as he asked this question, Mr. Shen knew that some things were not as simple as he thought. Yes, how could he forget that when his son was five years old, he went to the martial arts master’s house to play. In order to catch a sparrow in the trap he designed, he lay in the yard for three days until he caught it. He has been like this since he was a child. How could he give up easily when he grows up?

After a pause, Mr. Shen said, “What I’m thinking is that you’re in good health now, and it’s time for you to give me a grandson."

“Father forgot." Shen Qingxuan said quietly, “You already have a grandson. He could crawl in March, walk in May, and in June he was already walking briskly and speaking clearly. If you teach him well, he will have a promising future."

“After all, he is not a biological grandson, so there is a difference between inside and outside," said Mr. Shen.

“My father never taught me this. I only remember him saying that people are divided into good and evil, good and bad, and there is no difference between inside and outside. Could it be that I remembered it wrong?"

Shen Qingxuan answered fluently. Master Shen choked for a moment and finally became a little angry. “Now that your voice is better, you have learned to talk back to your father? Did I teach you this?!"

“I dare not." Shen Qingxuan said, bowing his head respectfully, “Please punish me, father."

Father Shen didn’t know what to say when he saw his expression. He just stared at him without saying anything.

Shen Qingxuan was also silent for a moment, and finally bent down again, kowtowed again, and said in a stern tone: “Please punish me, father!" This time, he forced him.

Their father-son relationship has always been harmonious. Upon hearing this, Father Shen was shocked and asked in disbelief, “Really?"

“Seriously." Shen Qingxuan said.

Father Shen called the housekeeper and applied the family rules, not allowing anyone to ask for mercy or reason, just beating. Beat hard!

Shen Qingxuan said nothing as the ruler hit his back.

The more he clenched his teeth and looked calm, the colder Master Shen felt in his heart . They had never made the matter clear, but they had already made each other’s attitudes clear. Master Shen had traveled all over the country and had seen such stubborn people. He knew that it was in vain to beat him to death, so his heart became even colder, as if he had fallen into an ice cave. This was his son! – For a monster, he did not hesitate to disobey his relatives and even to ask for family rules. Everything he did was just to tell his father that for the monster, he would not care about life or death, and could even ignore his relatives!

The ruler finally stopped. Shen Qingxuan’s back was covered in blood and his face was as white as paper. Sweat drops kept falling onto the ground, forming small puddles.

Father Shen waved away the others, held the ruler himself, and hung it over his head, and asked in a cold voice : “I just ask you, can you change it?"

“Father," Shen Qingxuan paused and smiled, “You once said that my personality is very similar to yours." He has learned how to control people’s hearts. With just one sentence, he silenced Father Shen. Sometimes, the most insignificant sentence, when used on the right person, is enough to make the other party lose their temper. Even if it does not achieve the goal, it can soften people’s hearts.

Father Shen was stunned on the spot, with an indescribable complex of emotions, bitterness, relief, anger, and love. The blackboard ruler in his hand could no longer be put down.

Shen Qingxuan lowered his head, as if waiting for a verdict, without any stubborn attitude, because he knew that would only anger him, so he was neither humble nor arrogant, and kowtowed.

His forehead landed heavily on the hard stone ground, making a dull thud.

This was a request from a son to his father, and it was limited to the difference in status between them, nothing more. There was not even a hint of hesitation.

Father Shen threw the ruler and walked to the window. He didn’t know how long he stood there before he calmed down. Looking at the stars in the sky outside the window, he finally said, “If you convince your mother, I will no longer care about you."

Shen Qingxuan was crawling on the ground. He raised his head when he heard the voice, looked at his back, and responded, “Thank you, father for your help." He kowtowed again before getting up and leaving.

That night, the Shen family’s house was in an uproar. Everyone knew that the eldest son had been beaten, but no one knew why the master beat him.

Shen’s mother knew the news, but she didn’t expect him to be beaten like that. The blood and flesh on his back stuck to the silk cloth and couldn’t be peeled off. Mrs. Shen sat in her room, reflecting on her long life. She had never made any mistakes in her husband’s education. Her son had been a loner, and she agreed to let him live in the mountains to avoid being criticized. The mother and son were separated for many years. After finally coming back, he was beaten. There was no reason before the beating, and no explanation after the beating. How could she not be angry.

She was a person with a gentle appearance but strong heart. After returning from Shen Qingxuan’s room, she called the maid and helped her change from her plain dress into gorgeous clothes. She also took out the jewelry that she only wore during grand ceremonies and sacrifices, and put them on carefully. Then she went to the study, respectfully performed the wife’s etiquette to Master Shen, and then knelt down without saying a word.

Mr. Shen was already worried and upset . When he saw his wife coming in, she didn’t start to blame him, but she knelt down just like her son. Without saying anything, she forced him silently. Mr. Shen stood up and walked in front of her, pointing at the woman who had come with the young couple, and laughed in anger: “He said that his personality was like mine, but it turned out that he was lying to me. You mother and son are the only ones who are exactly the same. You both came here today to force me."

Madam Shen raised her head and said, “Master is the head of the family, who dares to force him? If a child is not taught well, it is the mother’s fault. Qingxuan has been beaten, so naturally, the mother cannot escape the blame." Although she spoke slowly, her words were firm and she had her own stubbornness and pride. This was the first time that Master Shen was challenged by her in all the years of marriage. He was at a loss for a moment, staring at her, and said, “What nonsense are you talking about!"

“I’m not talking nonsense." Madam Shen raised her plump, well-maintained, snow-white chin and sneered, “I’m just here to receive family discipline."

Mr. Shen stamped his feet and said, “Very good!" He picked up the blackboard ruler stained with blood and pretended to hit him.

Mrs. Shen took out a piece of paper and said, “Please sign your name after you finish typing this."

“What is that?" Mr. Shen realized something was wrong and calmed down a little.

“Divorce letter." Madam Shen spread out the paper and spread it on the ground. “I am an unvirtuous wife and I have no way of educating my children. Today, I accept the family rules and am willing to be divorced and expelled from the Shen family."

Mr. Shen was choking on his breath, his face flushed red, and his ink ruler fell to the ground with a clang.

Madam Shen was also very angry. She raised her voice and repeated loudly: “Please punish me, sir!" Her voice was crisp and her courage was evident.

That voice was full of determination. Master Shen was frightened, and the breath that was choked in his throat came out smoothly. He looked at her for a long time, finally sighed , walked over, squatted down and said, “You feel wronged, I know."

Mrs. Shen looked up at him, then lowered her head, obviously angry .

Mr. Shen held her shoulders and laughed, “We have been married for so many years, and now you want to get angry with me, why?"

Madam Shen did not give in either, and said in a stern voice: “That’s right, we have been married for so many years, and now you want to hit me?"

Master Shen was both amused and annoyed, and shook his head, “Forget it, I know you are not convinced in your heart. You must know this… but you can’t tolerate any sand in your eyes. If you knew, I’m afraid you would be more ruthless than me…"

Mrs. Shen was also a smart person. She knew there was something behind the words, but she just couldn’t believe it. “Is it Xuan’er?"

“Get up…" Helping his wife to stand up, the couple walked to the table and sat down. Master Shen said, “Drink some water first, I will tell you slowly."

In just an hour, Mrs. Shen walked out of the study and returned to her room. Her face was stern and she could vaguely see anger in it.

Early the next morning, the maid rushed to the south courtyard of Shen Qingxuan’s house and delivered a message: Madam wants to speak to the eldest young master.

Shen Qingxuan was lying on the bed at this time. The doctor had just changed his medicine and wrapped him in white cloth to recuperate. After hearing the maid’s message, Shen Qingxuan opened his eyes and stared at the carvings beside the jade pillow. He sighed in his heart that he had to endure the pain of the flesh again. Alas, let him rest for a few days, right? After all, he was a weak scholar.

After getting up and putting on his clothes, Shen Qingxuan was supported by the maids and rushed to his mother’s room.

The pain in his back made him sweat a lot along the way, and the sweat wet the wound, and the blood flowed out again, staining the white cloth red. By the time he arrived at his mother’s yard, his light blue robe had been soaked through with red .

The maids supported him, and when Shen Qingxuan knelt down in front of Madam Shen, they exclaimed and pointed at his back: “Master, the wound is bleeding again!"

Mother Shen walked over to take a look, and naturally felt distressed, but more than that she was angry. She dismissed the servants, sat back in her chair , and asked word by word: “Is what your father said true? Did he wrongly accuse you?"

Shen Qingxuan was silent for a moment, then replied, “I have not been wronged."

“So, you admit it?"

“yes."

“It’s against morals!" Mrs. Shen frowned and angrily scolded, “It’s a disgrace to the family tradition!"

Shen Qingxuan knelt there and said calmly, “Yes."

Mrs. Shen was so angry at his behavior that she threw the teacup, “Will you change?!"

Shen Qingxuan did not answer.

“If you change, I can forgive you for what you have done. I will arrange a marriage for you tomorrow. From now on, you can manage the family business at home, get along well with your wife, and have a son or daughter…"

“Mother." Shen Qingxuan interrupted her, his words were also a little cold: “What if you don’t change?"

“If you refuse to repent, I will expel you from the family. From now on, there will be no eldest son in the Shen family!"

“Although mother is a woman of character, the son is now the head of the Shen family. Even father has not thought of expelling her. Mother is a woman who should obey her husband after marriage and obey her son after her husband’s death. How could she have such a rebellious thought?!" Shen Qingxuan raised his eyes and said harshly word by word: “Do you think father is dead?"

Madam Shen froze in place and shouted angrily, “Rebellious son!"

Shen Qingxuan looked at her, and after a moment he suddenly laughed: “My child is unfilial, please punish me, mother."

“Okay," Shen’s mother covered her chest, “I can’t drive you away, but I can beat you. I will beat you to death today, and I will apologize to the ancestors of the Shen family tomorrow!" After saying this, she called the servants in with sticks, looked at her son kneeling there, and asked again : “Beat you to death, or change?"

“How could mother not know?" Shen Qingxuan said without raising his head, “My child has died so many times, how could I be afraid of death?"

Mother Shen also smiled, and her usually noble face was finally distorted a little, “Good, very good. I am really lucky to have raised such a good son like you!" After giving the order, the servant did not dare to disobey, and the solid wooden stick fell down fiercely.

Shen Qingxuan knelt with his eyes closed. After being beaten ten times, he could not hold on any longer. He was beaten so hard that he bent over, supporting himself on the ground with his hands, and blood came out of his teeth.

I didn’t feel miserable, I just thought that this was what I deserved, so I just had to endure it. I just felt a lump in my chest, I didn’t feel this lump when I was with my father, but when I was with my mother, this lump came out from nowhere and rushed to my chest. I knew my mother’s temperament and I could only persuade her softly, not force her, but I couldn’t suppress this lump, and I finally pushed it forward, head-on, and had to destroy both of us.

Now that he has come to the fore, he has no choice but to continue. Shen Qingxuan understands this very well. For such a person with such a temperament, only when he is pushed to the extreme will someone be willing to admit defeat.

He wanted her to lose once. He wanted her to admit defeat, he wanted her to admit that there were still stains in this life, not everything was perfect. It was not disrespectful to his mother, but too much respect, to the point of resentment, and he could only vent it in this way that hurt others and himself.

After twenty strokes of the cane, Shen Qingxuan lay on the ground and vaguely heard a door opening. The door was pushed open from the outside and light came in. But there was complete silence in the room.

Shen Qingxuan knew something was wrong and struggled to turn around, only to see Yi Mo standing at the door, wearing a black robe and long hair, standing against the light, looking indescribably noble and gorgeous, like a god.

Yi Mo stretched out his hand, and the servant suddenly dropped his stick and floated in the air. He struggled as if someone was strangling him, but his eyes immediately rolled back and he was already dying.

“Yi Mo," Shen Qingxuan called softly, “Let him go."

Yi Mo loosened his grip upon hearing the sound, threw the man aside, and walked over. He squatted down beside Shen Qingxuan, helped him up, and said in a deep voice: “That’s all you have."

Shen Qingxuan barely stood still and chuckled, “I just wanted to do this."

When he said that, Yi Mo understood. After looking at him for a moment, Yi Mo said, “You are really cruel."

Being cruel to others and to himself, such a person is rare in the world. Shen Qingxuan just smiled, with a hint of shyness in his smile, as if he was embarrassed by what he said.

Mrs. Shen was sitting on a chair. She had seen her son being beaten to death, and her heart had softened, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. At this time, Yi Mo came and the servants stopped. Although she wanted to go down the stairs, she was so angry when she saw the two people standing there. The stairs were ready, but she refused to go down.

“Don’t kneel down!" Madam Shen shouted angrily, and Shen Qingxuan knelt down again immediately , with a calm posture, kneeling as if it was natural. The anger in Shen’s mother’s heart subsided a little , and she looked at Yi Mo. Yi Mo turned around, and their eyes met. Yi Mo’s expression was not cold, but just indifferent. However, Madam Shen felt cold, as if she was intimidated and had some fear. She was a daughter of an official family, married to a merchant, and was originally arrogant. At this time, she could not tolerate being scared, so she turned her eyes to Shen Qingxuan and threw out a sentence word by word.

She said: “Back then, I gave birth to a boy, not a girl!"

As soon as she finished speaking, Shen Qingxuan’s face turned even paler, as pale as paper. He knelt on the ground with his head lowered. He asked the servant who had caught his breath to stand up, picked up the stick, and continued to beat him.

“Beat!" Shen Qingxuan said calmly, “The old lady told you to beat me to death, so you should beat me to death. If you can’t kill me, I will send someone to peel your skin off tomorrow ."

The servant was holding a stick. He was frightened by Yi Mo before and was now forced by the young master. He was in a dilemma and didn’t know what to do. He stood there with a bitter face, wishing he could dig a hole in the ground to hide.

When Shen Qingxuan said to fight, Yi Mo said nothing. He glanced at the servant, and the servant turned pale and took two steps back trembling.

Seeing this, Shen Qingxuan whispered, “Yi Mo, you go first."

Yi Mo said, “Hmm?" with a rising tone at the end, showing extreme displeasure.

“This is my family affair, you have no right to interfere." Shen Qingxuan smiled and said, “Go back to your room. If I’m not dead, I’ll come to find you soon."

Yi Mo squatted down again, and the two of them faced each other. After looking at each other for a moment, Yi Mo said, “Forget it, how about I marry you?"

Shen Qingxuan smiled and said, “Didn’t you hear what my mother said? She gave birth to a boy, not a girl. Only I can marry you."

“You did all this just to marry me?" Yi Mo said, “You know I won’t agree."

“It’s okay." Shen Qingxuan said calmly, “I’ll pave the way for you. It’s up to you whether you come or not." After a pause, he continued, “Anyway, I still have a few more years to live, so I’ll wait. I’ll pave the way for you. If you decide, you can marry me anytime."

Glancing at his mother who looked a little dazed on the chair, Shen Qingxuan said quietly: “I will clear all the obstacles along the way for you. I want to marry you. This is what I should do."

Yi Mo knew that he had made up his mind and was speechless for a moment. He was silent for a moment and said, “Have you thought about it?"

“I’ve thought about it a long time ago." Shen Qingxuan smiled.

“If I am beaten to death, can you still marry me?"

“If you kill me, I won’t bother you anymore. You should be happy." Shen Qingxuan looked away dimly, his eyes dark, and said slowly: “If I am alive, my mother will be ashamed; if I die, you will be free again. If I am really beaten to death, you can all be free."

“If I die, it will be a happy event.

“When the drums are beaten, the whole clan rejoices."

Yi Mo listened and watched, and knew that he really thought so. He really thought so – living was a shame to his family, but he still wanted to live, and if he died, he would be free and willing to die. He didn’t care about this life at all, he just lived one day at a time and did what he should do, so he managed the housework diligently, which was his responsibility as a son. So he was willing to kneel here and be beaten all over his body, which was his only personal wish. All he did was what he should do, and he was willing to be beaten to death. He was also willing to live in disgrace.

In fact, there is no expectation at all.

Yi Mo’s hand was on his shoulder, the bones protruding under his palm, still without much flesh. He was thin and weak, but stubborn and hard, never willing to admit defeat. Even at this point, he still wanted to fight to the death, not hesitating to perish together.

This is the kind of person who knows there is no hope but never gives up.

Shen Qingxuan didn’t know what he was thinking about. He just leaned forward, put his bloody lips on his , and kissed his face. He still said the same words with certainty: “You know, I want to marry you." He said it so decisively, but for the first time, Yi Mo heard the carefulness hidden in his words. He clearly said: Can I marry you? Or: Can you marry me? The confusion and vulnerability that he had hidden in the past, unwilling to show the slightest bit, were heard clearly by Yi Mo at this moment.

He was always afraid, like a drowning man who was holding on to a piece of driftwood, and could only hold on tightly, but was constantly worried that the driftwood would break or disappear.

Because once it disappears, the only reason to live will no longer exist.

Shen Qingxuan was desperate and stubborn, but he was always pretending. Yi Mo closed his eyes slightly, and a strange pain surged in his chest. He wanted to pick this person up, hold him in front of his chest, rub him into his arms, crush him, tear him apart, and swallow him with his flesh and blood. Then you won’t be afraid anymore.

The door was pushed open again, and Father Shen stood at the threshold, looking at the situation inside. The room was completely silent, with only a couple of men looking at each other, a woman sitting upright on a chair with a pale face, and a servant holding a stick and crying silently.

Mr. Shen sighed softly, “That’s all, Madam, go back to your room and have a rest." He waved to the servant to help Shen Qingxuan back to her room. Mr. Shen said to Yi Mo, “This year’s new tea has just been delivered. Come and taste it with me."

Yi Mo followed him to the study. Shen Qingxuan walked out of the room and squinted at the bright sky.

The sun is shining.