日頭猖盛，單衣薄衫的柳延坐在溪邊，光著腳丫伸在溪水裡，腿上趴著一隻狼。柳延拿著犀角梳，在黑狼的毛皮上梳理，時不時的，梳下一把毛來，扔進溪水飄走。
沈玨歎氣道：“我若是蛇就好了，也不用到了夏天就這樣。”
伊墨躺在一旁扯狼尾，一扯便是一撮毛，吹了口氣，那狼毫就飛起來，蕩蕩悠悠，許久才落下，他一邊玩一邊道：“當年我就不想養你，身上畜牲的腥臊味也就罷了，夏天常常弄得到處都是狼毛，喝杯茶都能喝到你的毛皮，真真是討厭得緊。”
沈玨羞惱地道：“哪有什麼腥臊味，你自己是條蛇，一股土丘味倒是真的！”
柳延抬起眼道：“你們有什麼好爭的？都是畜牲，還互相嫌棄。”
一狼一蛇頓時啞言。
柳延又道：“我怎麼覺不出你們說的味？”
“父親修煉這麼多年，早已辟穀，汲天地靈氣，自然沒有什麼味道。”沈玨說，“一會我去抓條野蛇來，你就知道他原來是個什麼味。”
伊墨一把抓住狼尾，冷笑一聲道：“我看不如現在把你踹河裡，落水的狗身上味道可是大發了。”
“我才不是狗！”沈玨喊，要抬起頭與他爭辯，被柳延一把摁住腦袋，摁在膝蓋上道：“別動，還沒好。”沈玨只好又趴回去，頗為委屈地道：“爹，我不是狗。”
柳延笑了一聲，拍了拍他毛茸茸的腦袋，安慰道：“我知道。”
沈玨立刻被安慰了，加上被梳理的舒服，身上厚厚的毛髮也逐漸輕盈，頓時哼哼起來。
他那樣子太滿足，伊墨實在是看不過眼，一腳踹了過去，“嘩啦”一聲，威武的黑狼頓時成了“落水狼”。
水裡的黑狼撲騰幾下站起身，惱羞成怒，一躍身就朝伊墨撲過去，伊墨快速伸手，兩者間立時豎起一道無形的屏障，黑狼沖了幾次都沖不過來，耳朵頓時耷拉下來，楚楚可憐地朝他喚：“父親。”
伊墨置若罔聞。
黑狼又喚：“父親。”一邊垂頭耷腦地踱幾步，圍著屏障繞圈圈。他身上滴著水，又垂頭喪氣，看起來真是可憐兮兮。
伊墨猶豫了一下，收了法。
果然，前一刻還萎頓的黑狼立時精神，猛地朝他撲過去，把伊墨撲倒在地，然後痛快地甩甩身子，把一身的水連著狼毛一起，甩了伊墨滿臉滿身。
伊墨抹了把臉，躺在地上甚是無奈的歪頭看向柳延，說：“你教出來的好兒子！”
黑狼拿濕乎乎的臉在伊墨臉上蹭，又把他剛抹淨的臉蹭濕，還頂無辜地說：“也是您教的。”等到伊墨又要踹了，才閃身跳到一邊，再次甩毛。
伊墨坐起身，弄乾淨了身上的狼毛和水滴，望著那黑狼撇撇嘴：“今年冬天把你扒了皮，給你爹做狼皮褥子……”話還沒說完，伊墨猛地收了聲。
冬天。哪裡還有冬天呢？
柳延原是一直瞅著他們笑鬧，也是此時，笑聲戛然而止。
沈玨蹲在一旁，默默地恢復了人形，仰起頭看了看天。或許是光線太過熱烈，他的眼眶潮熱，竟要落下淚來。
三人俱是無話。
小松樹精找到溪邊時，見到的就是這異樣沉悶的場景，心中驚異了一下，問：“你們怎麼了？”
無人回答他。有些事，至親知道，至愛知道。其餘的人，都是無關緊要的。他們連說，都懶得說。
因為很多事，外人不能體會，也無從難受。他們心中有愧，因為受傷最重的，只有他們至愛之人，能讓他們愧疚的，也只是至愛之人。
其餘的人，又怎麼會明白呢？
沈玨走過去，坐在兩人身邊，道：“爹，你怎麼想的？”
這個話題，他們不曾深談過，各自都是掩藏起來，輕易不敢說出口。
柳延淡淡道：“我只想著，到底還是對不住你。”
“什麼？”沈玨問。
柳延轉過臉，望了他好一會，才撫了撫他的頭，輕聲道：“你我父子兩百多年，近三百年光陰，我卻極少在你身邊……如今，怕是又不能陪你了。”
沈玨愣了一下，“爹？”
柳延招來小松樹精，道：“往後，你陪著他。”
小松樹精不知所以，卻也點點頭：“我當然陪著小沈哥哥。”
柳延笑了一下，望著沈玨泫然欲泣的眼，忍不住也心酸起來，抱著兒子，摟在懷裡卻是無言。
沈玨不傻，向來聰慧，自然懂他話裡意思。幾天後父親若是走了，他爹也是要跟著去的。所以，才會說“又不能陪你了”。
——不能陪你了。
沈玨想，自己生下來本來有爹娘，他尚未記事時，親生爹娘就沒了，成了孤兒。也不覺得有多委屈難過，沒了親生爹娘，還有這樣的父親與爹爹，都對他好得很，從小不曾讓他受一分委屈，雖然是妖，卻生活在大家族裡，誰也不敢瞧不起，誰也不敢欺負。後來，爹爹死了，只剩父親。他們找了許多年，中間吃了那麼多苦，終於又能一家團圓。
不過一年，父親又要走了，連爹爹都不肯留下來，也跟著要走。
偏偏就把他一個人拋下，活在這麼大的世界上，連一個親人都沒有，孤單單的活著，又有什麼意思。
沈玨咬了咬牙，道：“我跟你們一起。”
柳延猛地抬頭道：“不行！”
小松樹精聽不懂他們說些什麼，在一旁猶疑地看著，一雙眼睛看看沈玨，又看看柳延和伊墨，誰也不肯告訴他什麼，誰也顧不上這個時候看他一眼。也就是這個時候，小松樹精意識到，他們的善意和好，都是有限度的。他們拿他，只是外人而已。明白過來的小松樹精難過起來，還夾雜著幾分委屈，這些情緒他自己都理不清，只覺得自己一直拿他們當自己人，像親人一樣，為什麼他們就不能拿自己當親人？委屈了一會，見他們仍是連眼尾都不看自己一下，這委屈就變了質，隱約有了兩分憤懣。
呆呆站了一會，小松樹精掉頭走掉了。心想你們不理我，我也從此不理你們就是。這一會兒，他全然忘了剛剛還答應柳延，陪著沈玨的事。
卻不知道，他走開時的背影，柳延看到了，看得很清楚，而後做了結論，這樣的性子，是不合沈玨的——比起前世嬗變的帝王，這小松樹精，甚至還不如他。
柳延對沈玨道：“你還有自己的事要做，自己的人生要走，如何就跟著我們？難道能跟一輩子嗎？”
沈玨慘慘的笑了一下：“我又找不到他，可不就跟著你們。”
“找不到就慢慢找。”伊墨說，“你既然答應了，怎麼能反悔？我可沒教過你這樣做人。”
“……那我找到了，就能找你們了嗎？”沈玨問。
伊墨沉默了一下，才道：“你上哪裡去找我呢？”又看向柳延，說：“你真要跟我一起嗎？”
柳延笑了一下：“我丟下你以後，你找得苦不苦？”
伊墨想了想，回道：“找的時候，還是苦的。”
苦，他第一次承認。一路尋覓，也不知道他會在哪裡，又忍不住想像，他會變成什麼模樣，長成什麼樣的性子，甚至明明算出來他轉世之地，仍然控制不住四處尋找，怕自己會失算，怕自己找不到，怕人海茫茫的錯過。所以轉世季玖那一回，明知他會投生在富貴之家，西南之地，也管不住自己，東南西北都找遍。就怕錯過，就怕蹉跎。
結果還是錯過，還是蹉跎。也只有這個時候，才會意識到，即使自己活了千年，能騰雲駕霧，會呼風喚雨，也是一無是處。
在命運面前，連他也不過是一隻螻蟻罷了，毫無用武之地。就是這樣無用，還有人喜歡，還有人把他放在心尖上，他又如何能不找這個人。
苦也不怕，只要想一想那些美好，一路的辛苦，最後也熬成了甜。
“我只能活幾十年，”柳延輕輕說：“縱然不怕苦，去找你，又能去哪裡找？我便是活著，也活得無望。你就捨得丟下我，受你受過的苦？”
伊墨伸出手，將他擁進懷裡，低語道：“捨不得。”等了片刻，又道：“我也不捨得你死。”
柳延閉上眼，倚在他肩頭，“那你活著，不行嗎？”
“我……怕是活不了現在這樣了。”伊墨撫著他的背，低低道：“你忘了嗎？我是蛇妖。沒了道行，就是一條蛇而已。”
這，才是答案了。
失了道行，摘了內丹，他就什麼都不是。不是伊墨，不懂人言，也就沒有了風華絕代。
只是無名無姓，山中的一條蛇。只會在枯葉層下游走，在洞穴出沒，吃著生野的動物，遇春而醒，逢冬則眠。
或許會被蒼鷹禿鷲叼走，被啄開蛇皮，噙走內臟，那樣連死也死的痛苦。
還不如，將道行連性命一起交出去，什麼都不要，什麼也無有。
起碼生命的最後，能夠與喜歡的人耳鬢廝磨，還能一起吃碗元宵。
僅僅這些，便抵得上他千千萬萬年的壽命。
也沒有遺憾。
——————————————————
The sun was blazing, and Liu Yan, wearing only a thin shirt, sat by the stream, his bare feet stretched in the water, with a wolf lying on his legs. Liu Yan used a rhino horn comb to comb the black wolf’s fur, and from time to time, he would comb off a handful of hair and throw it into the stream to float away.
Shen Jue sighed and said, “If I were a snake, I wouldn’t have to be like this in the summer."
Yi Mo lay on the side and pulled the wolf’s tail. Each pull brought out a tuft of hair. He blew on it and the hair flew up, swaying for a long time before falling. He played with it and said, “I didn’t want to raise you back then. The stench of an animal is fine, but in the summer, there’s always wolf hair everywhere. I can even taste your fur when I drink a cup of tea. It’s really annoying."
Shen Jue said angrily: “There is no fishy smell at all. You are a snake yourself, so the smell of earth is real!"
Liu Yan raised his eyes and said, “What are you fighting about? You are all beasts, and you still despise each other."
The wolf and the snake were suddenly speechless.
Liu Yan asked again: “Why can’t I feel the taste you are talking about?"
“Father has been practicing for so many years, and has long been fasting, absorbing the spiritual energy of heaven and earth, so naturally he doesn’t have any smell." Shen Jue said, “I’ll go catch a wild snake later, and you’ll know what it tastes like."
Yi Mo grabbed the wolf’s tail and sneered , “I think I might as well kick you into the river now. A drowning dog smells bad."
“I’m not a dog!" Shen Jue shouted, trying to raise his head to argue with him, but Liu Yan held his head down and pressed it on his knees, saying, “Don’t move, it’s not healed yet." Shen Jue had no choice but to lie down again, saying rather aggrievedly, “Dad, I’m not a dog."
Liu Yan laughed, patted his furry head, and comforted him: “I know."
Shen Jue was comforted immediately, and because of the comfort of being combed, the thick hair on his body gradually became lighter, and he immediately began to hum.
He looked so satisfied that Yi Mo couldn’t bear it any longer, so he kicked him. With a “splash", the mighty black wolf instantly became a “drowned wolf".
The black wolf in the water fluttered a few times and stood up. It was angry and jumped towards Yi Mo. Yi Mo quickly stretched out his hand and an invisible barrier was immediately erected between the two. The black wolf tried to rush over several times but failed. Its ears drooped and it called out to him pitifully, “Father."
Yi Mo turned a deaf ear to it.
The black wolf called out again, “Father," and paced a few steps with his head down, circling the barrier. He was dripping with water, and he looked so dejected, he looked really pitiful.
Yi Mo hesitated for a moment and then stopped.
Sure enough, the black wolf, which was listless a moment ago, immediately became energetic, pounced at him fiercely, knocked Yi Mo to the ground, and then shook its body happily, splashing all the water on its body, along with its wolf fur , all over Yi Mo’s face and body.
Yi Mo wiped his face, lay on the ground, tilted his head helplessly and looked at Liu Yan, saying: “What a good son you taught!"
The black wolf rubbed its wet face on Yi Mo’s face, and then wet his just-cleaned face , and said innocently: “You taught me that too." When Yi Mo was about to kick it again, it dodged and jumped to the side, shaking its fur again.
Yi Mo sat up, cleaned the wolf hair and water droplets on his body, looked at the black wolf and curled his lips: “I’ll skin you this winter and make a wolfskin mattress for your father…" Before he finished speaking, Yi Mo suddenly stopped talking.
Winter. Where is winter?
Liu Yan had been watching them laughing, but at this moment, his laughter stopped abruptly.
Shen Jue squatted aside, silently restored his human form, and looked up at the sky. Perhaps because the light was too warm, his eyes were hot and he was about to cry.
All three of them were speechless.
the little pine tree spirit found the stream, he saw this strange and dreary scene. He was surprised and asked, “What happened to you?"
No one answered him. Some things are known only to those closest to you, to those you love most. The rest of you are insignificant. They are too lazy to even speak.
Because there are many things that outsiders cannot understand, nor can they feel bad about. They feel guilty because the person they love the most is the one who is hurt the most, and the one who can make them feel guilty is also the one they love the most.
How can the rest of the people understand?
Shen Jue walked over, sat next to the two of them, and said, “Dad, what do you think?"
They had never discussed this topic in depth. They each kept it secret and didn’t dare to speak it out easily.
Liu Yan said calmly: “I just thought that I still feel sorry for you."
“What?" Shen Jue asked.
Liu Yan turned his head and looked at him for a long time before stroking his head and whispering, “You and I have been father and son for more than two hundred years, nearly three hundred years, but I have rarely been by your side… Now, I’m afraid I can’t accompany you again."
Shen Jue was stunned for a moment, “Dad?"
Liu Yan summoned the little pine tree spirit and said, “From now on, you stay with him."
The little pine tree spirit didn’t know why, but nodded: “Of course I will accompany Brother Xiao Shen."
Liu Yan smiled, looked at Shen Jue’s tearful eyes, and couldn’t help feeling sad. He hugged his son in his arms but remained silent.
Shen Jue was not stupid, he was always smart, so he naturally understood what he meant. If his father passed away in a few days, his father would follow him. That was why he said “I can’t accompany you again".
——I can’t accompany you anymore.
Shen Jue thought that he had parents when he was born, but they died before he could remember anything, and he became an orphan. He didn’t feel wronged or sad. Even though he lost his parents, he still had such a father and father, who were very kind to him and never let him suffer any grievances since he was a child. Although he was a demon, he lived in a big family, and no one dared to look down on him or bully him. Later, his father died, leaving only his father. They searched for many years and suffered so much in the process, and finally they were reunited as a family.
Only a year later, my father was leaving again, and even my dad refused to stay and followed him.
He had to be left alone in this big world, living without even a relative. What was the point of living alone?
Shen Jue gritted his teeth and said, “I’ll go with you."
Liu Yan raised his head abruptly and said, “No!"
The little pine tree spirit didn’t understand what they were saying. He watched hesitantly from the side, looking at Shen Jue, then at Liu Yan and Yi Mo. No one was willing to tell him anything, and no one bothered to look at him at this time. It was at this time that the little pine tree spirit realized that their kindness and reconciliation were limited. They treated him as an outsider. The little pine tree spirit who understood became sad, and there was also a bit of grievance. He couldn’t sort out these emotions. He just felt that he had always treated them as his own people, like relatives, so why couldn’t they treat him as a relative? He felt aggrieved for a while, and seeing that they still didn’t even look at him, the grievance changed, and there was a hint of resentment.
After standing there blankly for a while, the little pine tree spirit turned around and walked away. He thought to himself, if you ignore me, I will ignore you from now on. At this moment, he completely forgot that he had just promised Liu Yan to accompany Shen Jue.
Little did he know that Liu Yan saw his back as he walked away, and saw it very clearly. He then concluded that such a temperament was not suitable for Shen Jue – compared to the emperor who had transformed in his previous life, this little pine spirit was not even as good as him.
Liu Yan said to Shen Jue, “You still have your own things to do and your own life to live. Why do you follow us? Can you follow us forever?"
Shen Jue smiled miserably: “I can’t find him, so I’ll just follow you."
“If you can’t find it, just look for it slowly." Yi Mo said, “Since you promised, how can you go back on your word? I never taught you to be this way."
“…Then if I find it, can I find you?" Shen Jue asked.
Yi Mo was silent for a moment before he asked, “Where are you going to find me?" He then looked at Liu Yan and said, “Do you really want to come with me?"
Liu Yan smiled and said, “After I left you, did you have a hard time looking for me?"
Yi Mo thought for a moment and replied, “It’s still hard to find it."
It was hard, he admitted for the first time. He searched all the way, but he didn’t know where he would be. He couldn’t help imagining what he would look like and what kind of personality he would have. Even after he figured out where he would be reincarnated, he still couldn’t help looking everywhere, afraid that he would miscalculate, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to find him, afraid that he would miss him in the vast sea of people. So when he reincarnated as Ji Jiu, even though he knew that he would be born into a wealthy family in the southwest, he couldn’t control himself and searched everywhere. He was afraid of missing him and wasting his time.
In the end, I still missed it and wasted my time. Only at this time will I realize that even if I live for a thousand years, can fly in the clouds, and call the wind and rain, it is still useless.
In front of fate, even he is just an ant, useless. Even though he is so useless, there are still people who like him and hold him in their hearts. How can he not look for this person?
Don’t be afraid of hardship, as long as you think about the beautiful things, all the hard work along the way will turn into sweetness in the end.
“I can only live for a few decades," Liu Yan said softly, “Even if I am not afraid of hardship, where can I go to find you? Even if I live, it is hopeless. Are you willing to leave me and suffer the same suffering you have suffered?"
Yi Mo stretched out his hand, hugged him in his arms, and whispered, “I can’t bear it." After waiting for a moment, he said, “I can’t bear to see you die either."
Liu Yan closed his eyes and leaned on his shoulder, “Then you can live, right?"
“I… am afraid I can’t survive like this." Yi Mo stroked his back and whispered, “Have you forgotten? I am a snake demon. Without my spiritual power, I am just a snake."
This is the answer.
Without the Taoism and the inner elixir, he is nothing. Not Yi Mo, not understanding human language, and no longer having the peerless elegance.
It is just a nameless snake in the mountains. It can only crawl under the dead leaves, appear in caves, eat wild animals, wake up in spring and sleep in winter.
Maybe you will be carried away by a hawk or vulture, have your skin pecked open, and have your internal organs sucked out , and you will die in agony.
It would be better to give up both your cultivation and your life, to have nothing and to have nothing.
At least at the end of life, I can be with the person I love and eat a bowl of Yuanxiao together.
These alone are equivalent to his life span of thousands of years.
No regrets either.
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