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評分:3 分,滿分為 5。

遇蛇 Snake Encounter 3·32

  柳延醒過來時發了好一會的呆,趴在石桌上想起之前的事,低頭看了看腳邊,先前那盆潑掉的洗臉水還是濕漉漉的淌在地上。於是他眯起眼看了看天,太陽的方向表明他並沒有昏睡多久。站起身的時候身上的布袍自然地從肩膀滑落了,柳延蹲身拾起,臉上這時才顯露出兩分悲慟來。
  那袍子正是許明世的。他想,這個人從此不再有了。
  很奇怪,他這個時候並沒有想起伊墨的事,一點兒也沒有。腦子裡只是一閃念了一下,想著他可能恢復了,但只是一閃念。緊接著浮現的盡是許明世的臉。
  從年輕狂妄到老時的密紋疊嶂,中間幾乎是沒有任何過渡的,就倏忽這麼一下子,仿佛只是一眨眼,他就老了,接著消失於世。
  柳延不自禁地抬起手摸了摸自己的臉,自然是光潔的,一點紋路都沒有。這個院子裡,無論是他還是沈玨,都是一張年青的臉,尚有許多大好年華。只有許明世一人,被歲月摧殘成一張老臉。柳延這樣想著,在院子走了幾步,循著許明世往日的足跡,看花和鳥,看螞蟻和蝴蝶。走著走著就停下來,柳延蹲下身,仿佛一下子不堪負荷似的把自己蜷了起來,縮在許明世曬太陽的牆根,心想真是對不起。
  究竟對不起什麼,柳延都說不清。只曉得許明世沒了,最後一面都沒見上的沒了,這個世上,他又少了一個牽掛的人。這樣想著的時候,心中悲傷也不知從何而來,讓他難受得很。說起來他的三世輪回,好像從來都是個薄情的人,儘管他從不缺少義氣,也從不吝嗇幫扶別人,但真正走進他心裡讓他掛念的人,到今天都屈指可數。
  他總是清醒慣了,又謹慎太過,與人交際都是進退有度,滴水不漏,像個圓一般不露棱角,也就沒有破綻地固步自封,所以沒人能打開他的硬殼潛進他的世界,能進來的都是他自己親手放進來的。如今又少了一個人,他難過的沒有一絲作偽,紅著眼圈埋臉在腿上,就保持著這個姿勢,也不知坐了多久。
  
  沈玨打了熱水從廚房裡出來,瞄見縮在牆根底下的柳延,遲疑了半晌才靠過去,蹲在他身邊。
  “爹。”沈玨喊。
  柳延仿佛沒聽見,遲遲不動,沈玨又喊了兩聲,才聽柳延帶著鼻音問:“他衣服換了麼?”
  “換過了。”沈玨說。
  柳延這才抬起頭,眼角倒是紅著卻未見淚痕,想是蹭得乾淨,不肯讓人看。站起身,柳延端了一旁的熱水朝房裡走去,他應諾過,親手操辦他的身後事,讓他體體面面的走完這一生。
  進了房,繞過一扇美人屏,才看見一人坐在床沿,正替躺在床上的許明世整理鞋襪。那樣黑衣散發,狂蕩不羈的背影,除了伊墨還會有誰。
  柳延手上顫了一下,那盆中熱水便蕩起了漣漪,潤濕了一旁搭著的白巾。
  伊墨回過頭,只望了他一眼便低下頭去繼續手上的事,神態是未有過的專注肅穆。柳延也不吭聲,走到一側放下盆,擰乾了白巾後過去替許明世淨臉。
  先前許明世故意激怒沈玨飲下的雞湯還有許多油漬在嘴邊,連鬍鬚都粘上了,油光可鑒。真正是一眨眼的事情,剛剛還中氣十足,蠻橫不講理地將沈玨氣的幾乎跳腳,轉眼已經身體變涼。
  並且再也暖不回來。
  柳延仔細替他理過鬍鬚,拭淨了油污,又將他一頭亂髮理順,梳成髮髻。穿著一身合體新衣的老頭兒閉目安詳地躺在那,看起來倒是有許多和藹可親之相了。
  接著便是入殮。點了香油紙錢,長明燈日夜不滅,在棺木旁立著,日日夜夜都有人守在棺木旁,燒紙或續燈油。
  只是不同於俗世裡的白事,這裡沒有哭嚎也沒有聲樂,一切都是沉默而寂靜的。
  這樣便守過了頭七。棺木入土。
  
  墳前立碑,石碑上是簡簡單單幾行字,有許明世的名與字,也有他們一家。
  伊墨在墳前點燃紙錢,看著青煙與火光,在飛舞的紙屑裡道:“許明世,我以為你不會這樣做。”
  是的,他不知道他會這樣做。
  他曾經想過很多,他有千年修行,明白凡事都有因果與定數,也知道自己功德厚重,將來或許會有轉機,所以他留一條命,打回原形渾渾噩噩的活著。兩千年來受他恩惠的人與妖都不算少,他雖不喜交際,性情淡漠,也未必不會有人相助,譬如老仙,何時沒有幫過他。只是幫也幫的隱晦,畢竟宇宙洪荒,滄海複桑田,自有其規則來平衡,生或者死,起或者滅,即使是神仙也不能擅自改變。
  只有等轉機自己出現,老仙才能順應天命的幫扶一把。
  卻始終未料到這個轉機會應在許明世身上。
  他等著轉機,然後轉機來了。來者是許明世。他們結識的那麼可笑,卻是這樣的收尾。
  “許明世,”伊墨搖搖頭,又扔了一串紙錢燒起來,這才撫了撫墳前石碑,緩緩道:“你也該去見她了。”
  很多事,伊墨都知道,他只是不愛說。比如許明世掛念的那只小兔子精,他很早就知道;又比如她的魂魄不肯轉世,只管日夜坐在奈何橋邊哭啼不休,煩得地府裡的閻王都找人訴苦。
  那還是季玖死後,他去闖地府時,聽到的消息。
  讓閻王都頭疼的哭啼,自然會上報,上報過後也會有仙家審檢,她與許明世都秉性純良,在世時又處處為善,自該有一個好結局,所以許明世,自然也不該魂飛魄散。
  老仙順應天命,聚了許明世的魂魄,讓他重新來過,償那小兔子的眼淚。也算是皆大歡喜。
  
  伊墨站起身,將沾在身上的餘灰拍盡,對柳延道:“走了,回家。”
  這個時候,柳延才真正抬起眼,看向伊墨。這是自他恢復人形之後,他第一次認真看他。
  仿佛初次相見那一回,他面對著那張臉,連呼吸都逐漸消隱不見,仿佛只要看到這張臉,連性命都可以拋棄。
  他看了那麼久,心裡有那麼多想說的話,最後也只是輕輕一句:
  “你真回來了。”
  最後吐出來的,也只是這樣一句雲淡風輕的話。
  正因為還能看見,還能彼此相望,這世間就沒有什麼不可以讓他雲淡風輕。
  “回來了。”伊墨答。
  “回來就好。”
  伊墨望著他,淡淡問道:“如果還有波折,你還等嗎?”
  ——如果還有波折,還要等嗎?
  柳延幾乎是立刻顫了一下,但他很快就平靜下來。
  他只能等,這是沒有辦法的事。
  從遇上他開始,他就無法勸自己半途而廢,他喜歡他,那是即使再絕望,只要想起他就能微笑、就能存活的喜歡。這本身就是一個死結,輾轉三世也解不開。
  心之所向,無有選擇。
  
  “我等的。”柳延說。
  也許將來會風平浪靜,讓他們攜手一生,也許又會波瀾再起,顛沛流離。但是未來是什麼樣又有什麼關係?
  他只是一個普通人類,生而卑渺,不能呼風喚雨,也不會起死回生,逆天的能力他一點也沒有,他只是個人。
  與妖精鬼怪、天神玉帝相比,他只是卑微人群裡不起眼的一個,低到塵埃裡去。
  厄運劫難凡人無法躲避,迎接面對是唯一的選擇,但只要一息尚存,等待和希望就永不消褪。
  如果沒有得到過,又怎麼會失去;如果真正得到過,又怎麼會害怕失去。
  “不管還有什麼事,我都等的。”柳延說。
  伊墨過去牽起他的手,輕聲道了一句:“不會再有事了。”他說得雖輕,卻似許諾,似誓言,無比的篤定。
  柳延的眼淚這個時候才悄悄掉了下來,很快被人擦去,小聲說不要哭。
  “不要哭,”伊墨說,溫暖的手鄭重地執著對方同樣溫暖的手,“我陪你白頭。”
  
  ——我陪你白頭。
  他說到便做到,牽著他的手,在晨曦裡微笑,在落日裡相擁,走過五十個春秋與寒暑。直到他們的烏髮轉成花白。
  秋意闌珊的季節裡,他躺在床上,看著窗外秋雨過後,遍地黃葉,仿佛鋪滿了一地金子,燦爛絢美。他們穿著整潔乾淨的衣袍,並肩躺在一起。
  這時他聽見身邊人叫自己的名字,說:“下輩子,換我去找你。”
  他便笑了起來,唇角軒起一道溫暖祥和的弧度,臉頰也隨之皺出紋路,他微笑著道:“好。”
  “要等我。”
  “好。”
  他答應著,然後他緊了緊掌心裡從未放開過的手,靜靜閉上眼。
  
  與你攜手,與你白頭。
  走過千山萬水,穿過時間河流,越過黃泉碧落,走到荒涼的盡頭。嶄新繁華中,你還在。
  
  窗外的陽光透過薄薄的窗紗,照進屋內,屋裡秋風卷起繡滿桃花的床幃,在他們身上輕輕揚起又放下,周而復始,直到落幕。

————————————————

When Liu Yan woke up, he was in a daze for a long time. He lay on the stone table and thought about what happened before. He looked down at his feet. The basin of water he had spilled before was still dripping on the ground. So he squinted his eyes and looked at the sky. The direction of the sun showed that he had not been asleep for long. When he stood up, the cloth robe on his body naturally slipped off his shoulders. Liu Yan squatted down to pick it up, and his face showed a bit of grief at this time.

That robe belonged to Xu Mingshi. He thought, this person no longer exists.

It was strange that he didn’t think about Yi Mo at this time, not at all. He just had a flash of thought in his mind, thinking that he might have recovered, but it was only a flash of thought. Then all he could think of was Xu Mingshi’s face.

From the arrogance of his youth to the dense lines of his old age, there was almost no transition in between. In just a flash, as if in the blink of an eye, he grew old and then disappeared from the world .

Liu Yan couldn’t help but raise his hand and touch his face. It was naturally smooth without any wrinkles. In this yard, both he and Shen Jue have young faces and still have many good years. Only Xu Mingshi has been ravaged by time and has an old face. Thinking of this, Liu Yan walked a few steps in the yard, following Xu Mingshi’s past footsteps, looking at flowers and birds, ants and butterflies. He stopped while walking , Liu Yan squatted down, and curled up as if he couldn’t bear the burden all of a sudden, and huddled against the wall where Xu Mingshi was basking in the sun, thinking to himself that he was really sorry.

Liu Yan couldn’t tell what he felt sorry for. He only knew that Xu Mingshi was gone, and he was gone without even seeing him for the last time. In this world, he had one less person he cared about. When he thought about it, he felt sad and it made him feel very uncomfortable. Speaking of his three reincarnations, it seemed that he had always been a heartless person. Although he was always loyal and never stingy in helping others, the people who really walked into his heart and made him care about could only be counted on one hand.

He was always sober, but too cautious. He was always measured in his interactions with others, and never leaked anything. He was like a circle without any edges or corners, and he was self-contained without any flaws. Therefore, no one could open his hard shell and sneak into his world. Those who could come in were those who came in by himself. Now that one more person was missing, he was sad without a trace of pretense, with red eyes and his face buried in his legs. He kept this posture, and he didn’t know how long he sat there.

Shen Jue came out of the kitchen with some hot water. He saw Liu Yan huddled against the wall. He hesitated for a long while before moving over and squatting beside him.

“Dad." Shen Jue shouted.

Liu Yan seemed not to hear and did not move. Shen Jue called out twice more before Liu Yan asked with a nasal voice, “Did he change his clothes?"

“It has been changed." Shen Jue said.

Liu Yan raised his head, his eyes were red but no tears were seen, probably because he wiped them clean and didn’t want others to see them. Standing up, Liu Yan took the hot water beside him and walked towards the room. He had promised to personally take care of his funeral affairs, so that he could finish his life with dignity.

After entering the room and walking around a beauty screen, I saw a person sitting on the edge of the bed, arranging shoes and socks for Xu Mingshi who was lying on the bed . Who else could it be except Yi Mo, with disheveled black clothes and an unruly back?

Liu Yan’s hand trembled, and the hot water in the basin began to ripple, wetting the white towel beside it.

Yi Mo turned around, glanced at him, then lowered his head to continue what he was doing, his expression was unprecedentedly focused and solemn. Liu Yan also said nothing, walked to the side, put down the basin, wrung out the white towel, and went over to clean Xu Mingshi’s face.

The chicken soup that Xu Mingshi had deliberately provoked Shen Jue to drink had a lot of oil stains on his mouth, even on his beard, which was shiny. It was really a blink of an eye. Just now, he was full of energy and almost jumped up in anger with his unreasonable and rude behavior. In the blink of an eye, his body turned cold.

And it will never warm up again.

Liu Yan carefully trimmed his beard, wiped off the grease, and straightened his messy hair into a bun. The old man, wearing a new well-fitting suit, lay there peacefully with his eyes closed, looking quite amiable.

Then the coffin was put into the coffin. Incense, oil and paper money were lit, and a perpetual lamp was kept lit day and night beside the coffin. There were people guarding the coffin day and night, burning paper or refilling the lamp oil.

But unlike funerals in the secular world, there is no crying or music here, everything is silent and quiet.

In this way, the first seven days of mourning were passed. The coffin was buried.

There is a monument in front of the grave, with a few simple lines of words on it, including Xu Mingshi’s name and style, as well as his family’s name.

Yi Mo lit paper money in front of the grave, looked at the smoke and flames, and said amid the flying paper scraps: “Xu Mingshi, I thought you wouldn’t do this."

Yeah, he didn’t know he was going to do that.

He had thought a lot before. He had practiced for thousands of years and understood that everything had cause and effect and destiny. He also knew that he had great merits and that there might be a turning point in the future, so he saved his life and returned to his original form to live in a daze. In the past two thousand years, many people and monsters had benefited from his kindness . Although he did not like to socialize and had an indifferent temperament, it was not necessarily that there would be no one to help him. For example, the old immortal had helped him before. But the help was also obscure. After all, the universe was vast and the sea had its own rules to balance it. Life or death, rise or fall , even the gods could not change it without authorization.

Only when a turning point appears can the immortal lend a helping hand as promised by heaven.

However, he never expected that this turning point would happen to Xu Mingshi.

He waited for a turning point, and then it came. The person who came was Xu Mingshi. Their acquaintance was so ridiculous, but it ended like this.

“Xu Mingshi," Yi Mo shook his head and threw another string of paper money to burn. Then he stroked the tombstone in front of the grave and said slowly, “It’s time for you to go see her."

Yi Mo knew a lot of things, he just didn’t like to talk about them. For example , he knew about the little rabbit spirit that Xu Mingshi missed a long time ago; and her soul refused to reincarnate, just sitting by the Naihe Bridge crying day and night, annoying the King of Hell to complain to him.

That was the news he heard when he went to the underworld after Ji Jiu’s death.

The crying that gives even the King of Hell a headache will naturally be reported, and after the report, the immortals will examine it. She and Xu Mingshi both have kind personalities and did good deeds when they were alive, so they should have a good ending. Therefore, Xu Mingshi should not be killed.

The old immortal followed the will of heaven and gathered Xu Mingshi’s soul, allowing him to start over and pay for the little rabbit’s tears. Everyone was happy.

brushed off the remaining dust on his body , and said to Liu Yan: “Let’s go home."

At this time, Liu Yan really raised his eyes and looked at Yi Mo. This was the first time he looked at him seriously since he regained his human form.

It was as if it was the first time they met. When he faced that face, even his breathing gradually disappeared, as if he could give up his life as long as he saw that face.

He watched for so long, and had so many things to say, but in the end he just said softly:

“You’re really back."

In the end, all he uttered were these light-hearted words.

Precisely because they can still see each other and look at each other, there is nothing in this world that he cannot be indifferent to .

“I’m back." Yi Mo replied.

“I’m glad you’re back."

Yi Mo looked at him and asked calmly: “If there are still twists and turns, will you still wait?"

——If there are still twists and turns, should we continue to wait?

Liu Yan trembled almost immediately, but he quickly calmed down.

He could only wait, there was nothing he could do.

From the moment he met him, he couldn’t persuade himself to give up halfway. He liked him, and that was a kind of love that made him smile and survive as long as he thought of him, even if he was desperate. This was a dead knot that could not be untied even after three lifetimes.

There is no choice but to follow your heart.

“I’m waiting." Liu Yan said.

Maybe the future will be peaceful and they will spend their lives together, or maybe there will be troubles again and they will be displaced. But what does it matter what the future is like?

He is just an ordinary human being, born humble , unable to call the wind and rain, nor can he be resurrected from the dead. He has no ability to defy the will of heaven. He is just a human being.

Compared with the goblins, ghosts, gods and the Jade Emperor, he is just an insignificant one among the humble people, low to the dust.

Mortals cannot avoid misfortune and disasters, facing them is the only option, but as long as there is still breath, waiting and hope will never fade.

If you have never had it, how can you lose it? If you have truly obtained it, how can you be afraid of losing it?

“No matter what else happens, I’ll wait." Liu Yan said.

Yi Mo went over, took his hand, and said softly, “Nothing will happen again." Although he spoke softly, it sounded like a promise, like an oath, and was extremely firm.

Liu Yan’s tears quietly fell at this time, and were quickly wiped away by someone, who whispered to her not to cry.

“Don’t cry," Yi Mo said, his warm hand solemnly holding the other’s equally warm hand, “I will accompany you until we grow old together."

——I will accompany you until you grow old.

He did what he said, holding his hand, smiling at the morning light, hugging each other at sunset, and walking through fifty years of spring, autumn, winter and summer, until their black hair turned gray.

In the fading autumn season, he lay in bed, looking out the window at the yellow leaves covering the ground after the autumn rain, as if covered with gold, brilliant and beautiful. They lay side by side in neat and clean robes.

At this time, he heard someone around him calling his name and saying, “In the next life, I will find you instead."

He smiled , a warm and peaceful arc appeared at the corner of his lips, and wrinkles appeared on his cheeks. He smiled and said, “Okay."

“Wait for me."

“good."

He agreed, then he tightened his hand, which he had never let go of, and closed his eyes quietly.

Hand in hand with you, grow old with you.

I have walked through thousands of mountains and rivers, crossed the river of time, crossed the netherworld, and walked to the end of desolation. In the new prosperity, you are still there.

The sunlight outside the window shone into the house through the thin curtains. The autumn wind in the house rolled up the bed curtains embroidered with peach blossoms, gently lifting them up and then lowering them over and over again until the end.


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