沈玨從練兵場裡走出來，跟在伍長身後，一句話也不說地走著。其實心裡是明白的，與這些普通凡人相比，他有太多的優勢，這些優勢足夠讓他從這些默默無聞的兵士裡脫穎而出，從而引起旁人的注意。不過一個月，已經有幾名副將想用他效力了。只是，他想要吸引的視線，卻一直不曾停在自己身上。爹爹。沈玨在心裡默默喊著，一個簡單稱呼，舌尖抵住上顎，而後輕輕的發出那道聲音。雖沒有骨血相溶，卻從來沒有忘記過。是他撫養自己長大的，約束自己的頑劣，嚴苛又溫慈。會將自己抱在懷中，攥著自己的手，臉頰貼著臉頰，一筆一劃的描摹畫中山水。無論他畫得好或不好，那些筆墨都悉數收藏了，從來不會遺棄。雖是孤兒，在沒有母親的複雜家庭裡長大，卻沒有誰敢委屈他，不過是那個並不強壯的男人為他支撐著頭頂天空，連陰霾都不捨得給他一點。喊他爹爹時，從來沒有意識到，在這樣的家裡，他又何嘗不是一個母親。而父親伊墨，卻是冰冷的性子，便是柔軟了，也是還有棱有角，讓人不自覺的疏離畏懼。也是他居中調和，才讓他慢慢知曉，父親也不全然是冰冷的，雖不擅長表達，卻始終是關愛。
而今生，他卻不能再喊他爹爹。
沈玨立在帳外，等侍衛通報過後走進去，望著那人的身影，恭恭敬敬行禮道：“將軍。”
季玖回起臉來，看他片刻，開口單刀直入，“可願意來我帳下效力？”
沈玨愣了一下，立即道：“當然。”
他應得過於爽快，季玖不自覺地眯起眼來打量著他。
沈玨立時就知道事態不好，雖不知為何，爹爹卻是懷疑自己了。那樣眯眼的動作，在前世的爹爹一旦有了這樣的神情，心裡指定是在謀劃什麼著的。沈玨對他那樣狐狸般眯眼的動作，是覺得既熟悉的想哭，又覺得害怕。他一百多年前，就怕極了這樣的表情，通常沈清軒露出這樣的神情，下一刻他都是要遭殃的。
相距一百多年，小寶也知道自己比眼前的季玖大了好多歲，卻也不知道為什麼，這份敬畏之情不曾減去一分一毫。
果然季玖踱著步，眯著眼走到他面前，嘴角挽出了一道弧度，輕聲道：“我可是知道，好些將軍副將們都想將你攬入麾下。如何你就應了我，卻拒了他們呢？”最後一句，語音上揚，裝出來的促狹。
沈玨毛骨悚然，忍不住退了兩步，定定神才找了藉口道：“若不是將軍，就沒有軍中沈玨了。”
季玖確實是心中有疑慮的，首先想到的就是眼前青年是別人的安放進來的細作，可又不太願意去信，畢竟這樣出類拔萃的人才實在是稀罕。猶豫了一下，還是決定信了他的解釋，很快道：“既然如此就留下吧。”略頓，又道：“可願意做我侍衛？”
沈玨本來就不謀功名前程，只是前次被季玖嚇到，這次答應的就緩了些，但仍是答應了：“全憑將軍吩咐。”
季玖滿意了，拍了拍他的肩。
沈玨松了口氣走出去，待出了軍帳站在陽光下，才發覺自己背後已經滿是汗珠。不由得苦笑，爹爹威信不減當年，他都這麼提心吊膽，父親又如何擺得平這有妻有子的季將軍？這樣一個從前世到今生，都不改本色的笑面狐狸。
他卻一點也不知道，季玖隨即就著人去查他身世了。身世倒是次要的，關鍵是，他可曾為別人所用過。當然，答案是沒有。
得到答案的季玖這才徹底放下了心。後來軍中就有人找他，說將這麼出類拔萃的青年留在身邊侍衛，埋沒人才。季玖這才將沈玨提拔，這是後話，暫且不提。
沈玨當了貼身侍衛，與季玖近了些，偶爾也會說話，都是季玖問，沈玨答，季玖問他，“玨乃雙玉，你父親給你取名時可曾說是哪雙玉？”
沈玨想了想道：“我爹沒說。”
季玖聽不出那“父親”與“爹”的不同，當下問道：“你爹怎麼說？”
“我爹不說。”沈玨看著他的臉，略頓一下道：“將軍可以喚我小寶。”
“小寶？”季玖望著眼前濃眉大眼的青年忍不住笑了，“乳名？”幾乎可以想像他幼時虎頭虎腦的模樣。
“嗯，”沈玨說：“將軍可以喚我乳名。”
他說得坦誠，季玖卻為難了一下，等了一會道：“你早已戴冠成年，如何還喚得乳名。這名字，只有家中長輩能喚的，你雖是我屬下，卻也無這份關係。還是不喚的好。”
季玖說的理所當然，卻在話尾處，清清楚楚看見眼前青年臉上滑過的一絲失望。莫名的心動了一下，季玖明明不知他為何失望，卻又分明感到，這人是拿自己當親人的，況且，他也曾說過他是孤兒，後被人收養。就這麼，季玖心中起了一絲憐意，看沈玨的目光，也仿佛看到自己孩子似的柔軟。
季玖說：“晚了，你去吧，我要歇息了。”
雖是軟了心腸，到底也沒遂了他的願。
沈玨失落了一下，也就恢復了，他知道來日方長，非朝夕可得，急不得。
季玖剛剛睡下，那妖卻又來了，立在床邊站了片刻，就上了榻，仍是那樣，先將他抱進懷中，擁了一會，才開始動作。季玖知道自己不應該輕舉妄動的，畢竟對方是妖，法力高深，他一介凡人如何是他對手。可殺心一起，再按捺下去就難了。
他心中殺意湧動，不死不休！
手指在被子裡緩緩移動著，逐漸靠近床沿的褥子，身上人卻陡然停了一下，季玖一驚，以為他有所察覺，卻不料自外沖進來一個人，腳步慌亂的沖將進來，還喊了一聲：“將軍！”
卻是沈玨。
沈玨守在帳外，聽見屋內響動，以為有異，想也不想的沖了進來，卻不料看見一盞油燈下，伊墨正覆在季玖身上，同時掉過臉來看他。被褥雖是攏的嚴實，卻因為身形的隆起，那被中光景無須想就知是怎樣，頓時呆住，面紅耳赤。
季玖轉過頭，臉上也是通紅，怒喝一聲：“出去！”
沈玨才慌忙掉頭，又沖將出去，腦子裡已然一團亂麻，不知道該如何是好。這樣的事，他也是見過的，那時他還小，不過一歲大，沈清軒將他帶在身邊，有時同伊墨翻雲覆雨，一歲大的沈玨就睡在床邊的小搖床上。雖是一歲，沈玨因是狼母所生，已有記憶。沈清軒卻不知道，所以隱隱約約透過帳蔓，一歲大的沈玨將其中光景已經看得清清楚楚。後來懂事了些，就知道這是不該看的，自己就躲了起來，也不看了。
其實還是覺得，也無甚了不起的，他們愈是這樣親熱，感情就愈好，一家三口俱是男子，也不亞於那些尋常家庭的幸福。
現在他們兩人又做這事，沈玨第一個念頭，竟然是長舒一口氣。隨後突然頓住，想到事情不對，不該是這樣的。
若是爹爹知曉往事，願意同父親一起，豈會不知自己？若是他們兩情相悅，爹爹方才怎麼會是那樣被動的姿勢，氣氛又那般沉悶？沈玨是知道自家爹爹的，若真是願意，僅僅是叫聲就足以讓人臉紅了。
若他真的願意……方才自己闖進去時，他臉上出現的是驚怒，甚至隱約露出了殺意。
沈玨自幼聰慧，在外面站了一會，就已經想的清楚。這事十有八九，是父親逼迫的。腦中又亂成了一團麻。
季玖青白著臉，也不知是驚的還是怕的，在伊墨身下顫抖著，每一處關節都僵硬的仿佛死去。他不曾想自己會被人這樣撞破，從來沒有想過。卻還是發生了，讓自己的侍衛，撞破自己被人騎在身上的難堪模樣。
伊墨也能體味他的心情，停下動作，將他抱緊了，一手繞在他背上，仿佛安慰般撫摸，低聲道：“不怕，無事的。”
季玖被他安慰著，逐漸回了神，聞言氣苦三分，喉頭都湧上了一股腥甜，腦中發黑。
也不知多久，才冷靜了下來，經此事一激，恨意壓不住，殺意更是洶湧。季玖遲疑片刻，抬起一隻手，攬住了他的頸項，將伊墨摟住了。
戰國時有一個故事，說的是秦國強盛，滅了趙、韓後欲出兵攻燕，燕太子丹命勇士荊軻攜了秦叛將頭顱與地圖，前去刺殺秦王。荊軻在秦王面前，獻上頭顱，取出地圖，燕國山川水陸逐漸在圖上展現，到末端時，一柄匕首躍然紙面。
季玖摟緊了身上那人，發出低低呻吟，似是驚嚇過後的情不自禁。伊墨情動，埋首在他胸前舔咬，動作益發狂野。
正是瀕臨高峰時，季玖手腕回縮，腕骨精妙的折回，睜開的眼睛光芒璀璨。他握在手中的匕首只在伊墨眼角處閃爍出一道銳利的光，隨後就斜刺而上，精准的刺入他第三條肋下。
正是心臟的位置。
匕首太過尖銳鋒利，刺入血肉時，並無痛感，也無甚聲響，伊墨只覺胸前涼了一下。再低頭看時，看見季玖眼底雖是殺氣漫騰，卻又是平靜的，如死水之淵。
季玖的手握在柄上，仍躺在他身下，盯著他的雙眼，他就那般用死水般平靜的眼神將匕首又往前推進兩分，直接末了底。
利器推入血肉的感覺讓伊墨閉了閉眼，再睜開時，還是那樣淡漠神情，聲音低沉的問：“真要殺我？”
季玖看著他，松了手，垂放於身側，也鎮定的答：“當然。”
伊墨低下頭去，滿頭黑髮散落在兩人身側，季玖再看不清他的臉。
直到這時，血珠才從他心口滲出來，一滴滴滑落，滴在季玖身上，隨後變成流動，如細小泉眼，往外流淌。
血腥味開始彌漫。
季玖抬起膝蓋，欲撞開他，卻被伊墨制住，那人只低著頭，低聲道：“還沒完。”
季玖愣了一下，身上人卻起了身，將他翻過去，趴在床上，隨後又從背後野蠻的闖進去，這一次是存心要他痛的，季玖撕心裂肺的痛起來。仿佛第一次被侵佔一樣，痛的歇斯底里。
季玖說：“混蛋！”
伊墨不答。
季玖欲翻過身，卻被他死死摁住了腰，一下又一下的頂撞，季玖掙扎著，逐漸感覺到粘稠的濕意在自己身後散開，卻沒那麼痛了。與此同時，那血腥味愈發濃重，仿佛整個人都泡在血池裡一樣讓人暈眩作嘔。
他不用回頭看，也知道那人是帶著那把刺在心口上的匕首，在擺弄自己。季玖突然安靜下來。
血液從他心口流淌，漫過結實肌理，流過小腹，最終隨著他的腰杆擺動，流到了兩人聯結之處。
季玖是痛的。卻不知為何，隨著時間拉長，身體的疼痛之外，心口也像是被感染了一樣，一陣一陣密密麻麻的疼痛起來。
他終是肯承認，這樣的事，除了第一次之外、除了疼痛之外……這麼多次，也不全然是痛的。
因為終於肯承認這點，季玖心口，就痛的益發強烈起來。腦中昏沉著，像是有巨錘敲打，季玖嘔出一口血。
那麼多回，他都不讓他有一絲一毫的疼痛。
正是除了疼痛以外的東西，季玖才不得不把自己逼入絕境。他不能。
很多事情，他不能。
血液彌漫在四周，連被子上都染了紅，季玖聞著那味道，本該是屍骨成堆中歷練出來的將領，終於在這樣絕望的血腥裡，幹嘔出聲。
季玖怕了。
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Shen Jue walked out of the training ground, following the sergeant, without saying a word. In fact, he knew in his heart that compared with these ordinary mortals, he had too many advantages, which were enough to make him stand out from these unknown soldiers and attract the attention of others. In just one month, several deputy generals wanted to use him. However, the attention he wanted to attract had never stopped on himself. Daddy. Shen Jue called silently in his heart, a simple name, the tip of his tongue pressed against the upper palate, and then gently made that sound. Although there is no blood fusion, he has never forgotten it. It was he who raised me up, restrained my stubbornness, strict but kind . He would hold me in his arms, hold my hand, cheek to cheek, and depict the mountains and rivers in the painting stroke by stroke . No matter whether he painted well or not, all the pens and ink were collected and never abandoned. Although he was an orphan, growing up in a complicated family without a mother, no one dared to wrong him. It was just that not-so-strong man who held up the sky above his head, not even sparing him a bit of haze. When she called him daddy, she never realized that in such a family, he was also a mother. But his father, Yi Mo, had a cold temper. Even if he was soft, he still had edges and corners, which made people unconsciously alienated and fearful. It was also because of his mediation that he slowly realized that his father was not completely cold. Although he was not good at expressing himself, he was always caring.
But in this life, he can no longer call him daddy.
Shen Jue stood outside the tent, waited for the guards to report, then walked in, looked at the man, saluted respectfully and said, “General."
Ji Jiu turned around, looked at him for a moment, and said directly, “Are you willing to work for me?"
Shen Jue was stunned for a moment, then immediately said, “Of course."
He responded too readily, and Ji Jiu unconsciously narrowed his eyes and looked at him.
Shen Jue knew immediately that the situation was not good. Although he didn’t know why, his father suspected him. In his previous life, when his father had such an expression, he must have been planning something . Shen Jue felt familiar with his fox-like squinting, and felt scared. He was very afraid of such an expression more than a hundred years ago. Usually, when Shen Qingxuan showed such an expression, he would be in trouble the next moment.
More than a hundred years apart, Xiao Bao knew that he was much older than Ji Jiu in front of him, but he didn’t know why, his awe had not diminished in the slightest.
Sure enough, Ji Jiu paced and walked up to him with squinted eyes, with a smile on his lips, and said softly: “I know that many generals and lieutenants want to recruit you. How come you agreed to me but rejected them?" The last sentence was said with a raised voice, pretending to be teasing.
Shen Jue was horrified and could not help but take two steps back. After calming down, he found an excuse and said, “If it weren’t for the general, there would be no Shen Jue in the army."
Ji Jiu did have some doubts in his heart. The first thing he thought of was that the young man in front of him was a spy planted by someone else, but he was reluctant to believe it. After all, such outstanding talents were rare. After hesitating for a while, he decided to believe his explanation and quickly said, “If that’s the case, then stay." After a slight pause, he said, “Are you willing to be my bodyguard?"
Shen Jue had never sought fame and fortune, but he was frightened by Ji Jiu last time, so he was a little slow in agreeing this time, but he still agreed: “It’s all up to the general’s orders."
Ji Jiu was satisfied and patted his shoulder.
Shen Jue breathed a sigh of relief and walked out. When he stood outside the military tent in the sun, he realized that his back was already covered with sweat. He couldn’t help but smile bitterly. His father’s prestige was still as high as it was in the past. If he was so nervous, how could his father deal with General Ji, who had a wife and children? Such a smiling fox, who had never changed his nature from the previous life to this life .
He had no idea, so Ji Jiu immediately sent someone to check his background. His background was secondary, the key was whether he had ever been used by others. Of course, the answer was no.
Ji Jiu was relieved after getting the answer. Later, someone in the army came to him and said that keeping such an outstanding young man as a guard by his side would be a waste of talent. Ji Jiu promoted Shen Jue, but this is a later story, so let’s not talk about it for now.
Shen Jue became a personal guard and got closer to Ji Jiu. They would talk occasionally. Ji Jiu would ask questions and Shen Jue would answer. Ji Jiu asked him, " Jue is Shuangyu. When your father named you, did he say which pair of jade you were from?"
Shen Jue thought for a moment and said, “My father didn’t say anything."
Ji Jiu couldn’t tell the difference between “father" and “daddy", so he asked, “What did your dad say?"
“My father won’t tell you." Shen Jue looked at his face and paused for a moment before saying, “General, you can call me Xiaobao."
“Xiaobao?" Ji Jiu couldn’t help but laugh as he looked at the young man with thick eyebrows and big eyes in front of him, “Nickname?" He could almost imagine how he looked like when he was a child.
“Well," Shen Jue said, “General, you can call me by my nickname."
He spoke frankly, but Ji Jiu was embarrassed for a moment. After waiting for a while, he said, “You have already grown up, how can you still call me by your childhood name? Only the elders in the family can call you by this name. Although you are my subordinate, you don’t have this relationship. It’s better not to call you by this name."
Ji Jiu said it as a matter of course, but at the end of his words, he clearly saw a trace of disappointment on the face of the young man in front of him. His heart was moved for some reason. Ji Jiu didn’t know why he was disappointed, but he clearly felt that this man treated him as a relative. Moreover, he also said that he was an orphan and was adopted. Just like that, Ji Jiu felt a trace of pity in his heart , and when he looked at Shen Jue, he seemed to see the tenderness of his own child.
Ji Jiu said: “It’s late, you go, I need to rest."
Even though I softened my heart, I didn’t fulfill his wish in the end.
Shen Jue felt lost for a moment, but then he recovered. He knew that there was a long way to go and things wouldn’t be achieved overnight, so he couldn’t be impatient.
Ji Jiu had just fallen asleep when the demon came again. It stood by the bed for a while, then climbed onto the couch . It held him in its arms for a while before starting to move. Ji Jiu knew that he should not act rashly. After all, the other party was a demon with great magical powers. How could a mere mortal like him be his opponent? But once he had the killing intent, it was hard to hold back.
There was murderous intent in his heart, and he would fight to the death!
The fingers moved slowly in the quilt, gradually approaching the mattress at the edge of the bed, but the person on top of him suddenly stopped. Ji Jiu was startled, thinking that he had noticed something, but unexpectedly, a person rushed in from outside, rushed in with panicked steps, and shouted: “General!"
But it was Shen Jue.
Shen Jue was guarding outside the tent. When he heard the noise inside, he thought something was wrong and rushed in without thinking. However, he saw Yi Mo covering Ji Jiu under an oil lamp and turned to look at him. Although the quilt was tightly wrapped, he knew what was happening under the quilt because of his bulge. He was stunned and blushed.
Ji Jiu turned his head, his face also red, and shouted angrily: “Get out!"
Shen Jue hurriedly turned around and rushed out again. His mind was already in a mess, and he didn’t know what to do. He had seen such things before. At that time, he was still young, only one year old. Shen Qingxuan brought him with him. Sometimes he made love with Yi Mo, and the one-year-old Shen Jue slept in the small rocking bed beside the bed. Although he was only one year old, Shen Jue had memories because he was born to a wolf mother . Shen Qingxuan didn’t know, so the one-year-old Shen Jue could see the scene clearly through the curtains. Later, when he was more sensible, he knew that this was not something he should have seen, so he hid himself and didn’t look at it anymore.
In fact, I still feel that it is nothing great. The more affectionate they are, the better their relationship is. A family of three with all men is no less happy than those ordinary families.
Now that the two of them were doing this again, Shen Jue’s first thought was to let out a long sigh of relief. Then he suddenly stopped, thinking that something was wrong and it shouldn’t be like this.
If Daddy knew about the past and was willing to be with his father, how could he not know himself? If they were in love, why would Daddy be in such a passive posture just now, and why was the atmosphere so dull? Shen Jue knew his own father. If he was really willing, just the sound of his voice would be enough to make people blush.
If he really wanted to… when he broke in just now, his face was filled with shock and anger, and even a hint of murderous intent.
Shen Jue was smart since childhood. After standing outside for a while, he had figured it out. This was most likely forced by his father. His mind was in a mess again.
Ji Jiu’s face was pale , and he didn’t know whether he was shocked or afraid. He trembled under Yi Mo, and every joint was stiff as if he was dead. He never thought that he would be caught like this, never thought about it. But it still happened, and his guards caught him in the embarrassing state of being ridden by someone.
Yi Mo could also understand his mood, so he stopped and hugged him tightly, put one hand around his back, stroked it as if to comfort him, and whispered, “Don’t be afraid, it’s okay."
Ji Jiu was comforted by him and gradually came back to his senses. Hearing his words, he felt very bitter, a fishy and sweet taste surged in his throat, and his head felt dark.
It was unknown how long it took him to calm down. After this incident, he could no longer suppress his hatred and his killing intent surged. Ji Jiu hesitated for a moment, raised one hand, and held Yi Mo by his neck.
There is a story in the Warring States Period that tells of a powerful Qin State that wanted to attack Yan after destroying Zhao and Han. Yan’s Prince Dan ordered the warrior Jing Ke to take the head of a Qin rebel general and a map to assassinate the King of Qin. Jing Ke presented the head to the King of Qin and took out the map. The mountains, rivers, and land of Yan State gradually appeared on the map, and at the end, a dagger jumped out of the paper.
Ji Jiu hugged the man tightly, moaning softly, as if he couldn’t help himself after being frightened. Yi Mo was moved, buried his head in his chest and licked and bit, his movements became more and more wild.
Just when he was about to reach the peak, Ji Jiu retracted his wrist, his wrist bones folded back exquisitely, and his eyes opened brightly. The dagger in his hand flashed a sharp light at the corner of Yi Mo’s eyes, and then stabbed up diagonally, accurately piercing his third rib.
It’s exactly where the heart is.
The dagger was too sharp, and when it pierced into the flesh, there was no pain or sound. Yi Mo only felt a chill on his chest. When he looked down again, he saw that although Ji Jiu’s eyes were filled with murderous intent, they were calm, like a stagnant abyss.
Ji Jiu’s hand was on the handle, still lying under him, staring into his eyes. He pushed the dagger forward another two inches with a look as calm as dead water, directly to the bottom.
The feeling of the sharp weapon pushing into his flesh made Yi Mo close his eyes. When he opened them again, he still had that indifferent look on his face. He asked in a low voice, “Do you really want to kill me?"
Ji Jiu looked at him, loosened his hand, let it hang by his side, and answered calmly: “Of course."
Yi Mo lowered his head, his black hair scattered on both sides of them, and Ji Jiu could no longer see his face clearly.
It was not until then that blood began to seep out from his heart, dripping onto Ji Jiu’s body, and then turned into a stream, flowing out like tiny springs.
The smell of blood began to spread.
Ji Jiu raised his knees and tried to push him away, but was restrained by Yi Mo. The man just lowered his head and whispered, “It’s not over yet."
Ji Jiu was stunned for a moment, but the person on him stood up, turned him over, and laid him on the bed, and then broke into him savagely from behind again, this time deliberately wanting him to feel pain. Ji Jiu felt a heart-wrenching pain. It was as if he was being invaded for the first time, and the pain was hysterical.
Ji Jiu said: “Asshole!"
Yi Mo didn’t answer.
Ji Jiu wanted to turn over, but he held her waist tightly, bumping into her again and again. Ji Jiu struggled, and gradually felt the sticky wetness spreading behind her, but it didn’t hurt that much. At the same time, the smell of blood became stronger, as if the whole person was soaked in a pool of blood, making people dizzy and nauseous.
He didn’t need to look back to know that the man was fiddling with him with the dagger stabbed in his heart. Ji Jiu suddenly became quiet.
The blood flowed from his heart, over his strong muscles, through his lower abdomen, and finally, as his waist swayed, it flowed to the place where the two were connected.
Ji Jiu was in pain. But for some reason, as time went on, in addition to the pain in his body, his heart also seemed to be infected, with waves of intense pain.
He finally admitted that, apart from the first time and the pain… after so many times, it wasn’t entirely painful.
Because he was finally willing to admit this, Ji Jiu’s heart ached more and more. His head felt dizzy , as if being hit by a huge hammer, and Ji Jiu vomited blood.
So many times, he didn’t let him feel any pain at all.
It was something other than pain that forced Ji Jiu to push himself into a desperate situation. He couldn’t.
There are many things he can’t do.
Blood was all around, even the quilt was dyed red. Ji Jiu smelled the odor. He was supposed to be a general who had been trained among piles of corpses, but he finally retched in such despair and blood.
Ji Jiu was scared.
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