望著那沖天火光仿佛被壓縮成小小一團，季玖驟然而生一種沮喪，這種逆行之事他做不到，他只是凡人一個，很多事都無法做到。譬如眼前怪異景象，本該惹起營中喧嘩，現在卻無聲無息，仿佛整個世界只剩他自己。這些火，這些煙，包括他季玖本人，宛如置身在另一個玄妙空間，令人遏不住地想問：我是誰？
心裡這樣的混沌著，又有一道聲音竄出來，在腦海中悠悠蕩蕩，仿佛回答：是季玖。
是季玖。季玖頹然坐在地上，在短暫的迷惘過後重新挺起腰來，洗漱過後，上床就寢。一夜無夢。
每天軍務之外，季玖找了些別的事來做，主動去面對一直不肯面對的東西——前世。快三十歲的人，開始循著線索尋覓自己飄渺的前世，季玖想一想就覺得可笑，不信神佛的活了二十多年，眼見著半截身子入土的人，開始鑽研自己前世，這話無論說給誰聽，怕是都要讓人笑掉大牙。可也是沒有辦法的事，夜路走多了總會遇上鬼，季玖以前不信，現在信了。從何處入手，他心裡早已有了盤算，問那妖怪是不可能的，他與他照舊無話可說，況且這一個月，那妖物也不再來了。道士是雲遊去了，就算找到了他也不願意說，季玖還不是那樣手段齷齪的人，抓了他嚴刑逼供，怎麼說那都是道士，出塵之人。唯一剩下的線索，只剩沈玨。
那就從沈玨開始吧。
季玖盤算好了，不準備打草驚蛇，反倒是調來了大批軍籍文檔，找出錄有沈玨的那本，文案裡清清白白，沈玨，雍城人氏，年二十有五，父母雙亡。
握著那厚厚文案，季玖琢磨半天，取了紙筆來，將那雍城兩字端端正正地謄下。
又翻閱其餘兵士文案，軍營裡雍城人氏有十來個，年輕人想來知道的少，最後季玖將目光鎖定在兩人身上，一是伙房老兵，還有一個在看守草料場。季玖決定用自己的方式來尋找那些並不存在於記憶裡的往事。終於肯面對這一切，或許是因為那滿床蔓延開的血，也或許是箍在自己身上太緊實的手臂引發的懷疑。
沈玨突然進來，通報有人來見。
季玖掩了案上雜亂文冊，命他帶來。
來客卻是皇城裡一面之緣的青衫客。季玖微愣，很快笑了一聲：“申大人。”眼睛卻不動聲色的打量著，眼前這位皇帝身邊的紅人，謀士申海。說起來季家也養了很多門客，皆是滿腹才學，行為出眾的都應了科舉，遂各謀其職，卻無人不曉他們曾為季家門客。季家的印記，或許哪一天季家傾塌了才能抹消的掉。眼前這人卻是皇上的門客。身份地位就與普通門客大不相同，往後前程幾乎不用猜測，肉眼都可以看得到的錦燦。只是目前皇上卻不曾給他實職，沒有官職更好，有些事為官者做不到的，掛著一個謀士頭銜卻做得更容易些。
季玖想，他終是有了自己的心腹。而那個人，卻不再是季玖。
申海行了禮，道：“季將軍別來無恙。”
季玖請他入座，命人上了茶水，才道：“好得很。”
申海看他片刻，突地笑了：“將軍何必稱我大人？也不問我所為何來。”
季玖只笑，卻不語，目光看著他，敏銳而犀利。在軍中時日久了，早已練出一份武將獨有的氣定神閑，卻又淩厲老辣，一般人在他眼神下都是經受不住的。眼前這人卻安然坐著，神態從容，季玖卻透過他舒展的臉，望出了一絲壓抑的影子。這是個有故事的人。季玖看著他的從容，及從容背後深沉的壓抑，想來是背負著什麼的。否則這樣一個人，不去科場謀取功名，而是用了手段成為皇帝內卿又是何必。誰不知伴君如伴虎。
兩人對視片刻，申海首先垂下眼，道一聲：“將軍既如此，在下就實話實說，傳言軍中近月開始募兵，皇上讓我來問句話。”
季玖說：“摺子已經寫好，只是尚未送上去，既然大人來了，不若將摺子呈給皇上，更為方便些。”
申海愣了一下，顯是想不到他會這樣說，脫口而出：“將軍就不怕皇上起疑心，奪了季家將印。”
季玖笑道：“若這麼簡單，何必讓大人跑這一趟？”
申海聞言緘默，隨即也笑了，道：“摺子在下就不替大人送了，有勞大人，隨我走一趟皇城。皇上在等著您。”
季玖也無遲疑，立時應下，出發時日定在第二天，沈玨同行。
皇城的巍峨殿宇如鋪開畫卷，逐漸展露眼前，在入秋後漸次枯萎的風景裡如濃墨一般，季玖站在城外仰頭看著，想起自己熱血少年時，便是在這裡，與今日龍座上的帝王攜手並進，扶他登上帝位，扶他坐著江山，而後到今日，甚至將來，該他退場。心底一股惆悵便溜了出來。
申海在他身旁，也不出言，等他自己醒過神，三人重新上路。
沈玨在宮門外候著，季玖與申海前去書房，季玖也在禦書房外候著，申海先行進去，大約盞茶功夫，申海出來了，喚季玖入內，自己卻退了。
太監們請他入內，而後無聲無息地退下，偌大一個禦書房，只剩季玖與皇帝。
皇帝伏在案前，一直不曾抬頭。季玖單膝跪地，也就不再出聲。君臣二人似乎是無聲僵持，又像是默契似的，等著對方先出招。
許久，皇帝擲了朱砂筆，龍顏陰冷地出了聲：“你來就是跪給我看嗎？”
此次房中無他人，季玖道：“皇上要如何？”
“季玖！”皇帝揮袖起身，走到他面前，俯視著那烏黑發頂，“擅自募兵擴軍，你這將軍是當膩了？！”
“回陛下，”季玖淡淡道：“臣不敢。”
“不敢？”皇帝挽起唇，不無譏諷地笑了：“這天下，有你季玖不敢的事？朕倒是頭一回聽聞。”
“皇上。”季玖取出那份遲遲未遞的奏章，“臣擴軍奏章早已擬好，只是天公不作美，下了半個月的雨水，所以推遲上奏了。”
“如此，便是天不允你傳遞奏章了。”皇帝撚起那份奏章，拋到一旁龍案上，緩聲道：“可見是老天不允你擴軍。”
季玖仍是淡淡的，道：“兵已經擴了，該是老天不允皇上即時收到奏章才是。”
一句話，堵得皇帝氣哽，面色發青，只是跪著的那人始終低著頭，看也不看他，便仿佛一切不曾察覺，裝也裝得有模有樣。你看，你對空氣發你的脾氣，與我何干！這一套季玖用了十幾年，皇帝想，怎麼到今天還在用？真沒長進。自己平復了怒氣，讓他起了身。
起身後季玖仍是低著頭，一副戰戰兢兢的模樣，屏氣寧息的站著，像是有無限畏懼與遵從，頭垂的老低，只留一個發額給皇帝看，看的皇帝又動了氣，裝出來的溫馴誰要看！忍不住伸手捏了他的下顎，逼迫著將軍抬起臉來，目光直視，聲音還是陰狠狠的：“你可是有長進了！”
季玖平視著皇帝，聲音還是那樣討人厭的不溫不火，“臣下惶恐。”
皇帝心裡啐了一聲，忍不住道：“事情過去三年，你就忘不掉？”
季玖微微撇頭，甩了下顎上鉗制的手，眼皮都不挑一下，“何事？”
皇帝悶了悶，好一會才低聲道：“你當我不想留著他們？”而後就不再說話。
季玖終是轉過臉來，也沉默了。三年前的那場火，燒了後宮正殿，也燒了殿中謀商的十幾位王公貴胄，其中有眼前帝王的兄長，有他的叔伯……也有那貴為太后的女人。甚至，還有目視著火光，終於陷入沉寂的季玖。那時候，他還是天真著，總以為即便帝王之家，人倫綱常也是必要的，卻從不信，自己幼時為伴一心一意輔佐的人，會有這麼狠辣的時候。許也是從那時開始，他便認識到，終有一天，他們會站到對立的位置上去。不是帝王滅臣子，就是臣子謀逆無道！
季玖垂下眼，“都過去了，微臣不記得。”
皇帝轉過身，看不清他的神情，只聽一聲喟歎，若有若無：“小玖，你終是要離開我。”
將軍一言不發，只在最後，回了一句：“皇上終有一天不再需要我。”
帝王猛地旋過身，聲音鑿鑿：“不會！”
季玖又沉默。兩人之間只有氣流微動，浮塵漂移。許久，季玖道：“我才不信。”
皇帝瞪起眼：“朕是天下君主，你敢不信？！”
季玖望他片刻，又移開視線，“在這裡跟我拌嘴的君王，我才不信。”
皇帝無言。季玖說完也無言。
好一會，皇帝負氣回到龍椅前坐下，提了朱砂筆，又拋擲到一旁，又拿起奏章，打開又拋了，連續幾次後，指著案上琉璃盞裡的點心道：“你喜歡的碧雲紗糕，去吃。”
季玖就遵命坐到一邊，端著點心吃。吃了兩塊，放下糕點喝了口茶，端正坐著。
皇帝這時已靜下來，翻開他的奏章，看了片刻道：“募兵練兵之事不用你操心，老將軍管著就是，季玖……”
季玖起身，掀袍跪下，道：“臣在。”
“朕另予你兩千精兵，如何？”
季玖愣了愣：“何用？”
“據說匈奴王廷在茫茫沙漠之後，那裡的路還沒有人找到過，朕想讓你親自帶兵去一趟，將地圖繪出來。”皇帝挑起眼，目光冷厲而威嚴：“你要平定北疆，豈能不知路？”
季玖跪在那處，好一會才出聲，聲音裡有一股微妙激動，“臣遵旨。只是兩千兵馬太過，糧草供應都是問題，五百精兵即可。”
皇上愣了一下，“五百？去送死嗎？”
“無事，臣與部下扮作行商就是。”季玖混不在意。
“當真五百？”皇帝仍是遲疑。
“當真。”季玖說。其實心裡還是覺得多的。
這事就這麼定下了。
重新起身，皇帝批著奏章，讓他在一邊坐一會，還有事要說。季玖不知何事，又坐回去，吃著點心喝著茶，吃飽喝足，胃滿了腦子就覺得恍然了，一路奔波趕回，本來就頗為勞頓，現在大事已了，心頭松了口氣，兼之胃口補好，季玖看那皇帝還在頭也不抬，顯然是還要忙上一會，便手撐著額頭休憩，一不小心打了個盹，睡著了。
待醒來，發現自己躺在軟綿榻上，身上蓋著被子，被面明黃，繡游龍翔鳳，一旁木案上燃著寧神熏香，青煙嫋嫋。季玖惺忪著眼呆看片刻，才恍惚著坐起身，動彈中發覺身邊還有人，扭頭一看，皇帝正批著龍袍坐在一邊，衣衫不整的模樣，手中拿著奏章，倚著床頭，膝上蓋著被子，見他醒了，從奏章後斜過眼，道：“睡好了？”
季玖望著他，似是發怔。
皇帝在被子裡踹了他一腳，有了些不耐煩，“醒沒醒？”
季玖“嗯”了一聲，夢遊般的聲音：“醒了。”
“餓了？”
“嗯。”剛應完，季玖一個激靈，完全清醒了，心中不妙，連忙起身，跪在床邊道：“臣無禮，請皇上責罰。”
皇帝也不理他，讓他跪著，命太監們搬了小桌放上龍床。太監們低著頭，將食具在桌上擺好了，躬身退下，無聲無息。這時才出聲道：“起來，朕也未用餐。一起吃。”
季玖只好起身，站在一邊拿了碗筷。皇帝怒斥一聲，“坐下！”
季玖坐了，挨著床沿。
君臣默不吭聲地吃著，突地皇帝道，“聽說你帳中，夜裡可是多了個人。”
季玖正謹小慎微地吃飯，猛地聽這麼一句話，剛咽入口中的粥險些噴了出來。連忙咽下去，瘋了般咳嗽。
皇帝見他咳的雙眼通紅，在一旁仍是淡然的很，不徐不疾道：“有人說，看那身形倒是男子，你何時也好此道了？”
季玖一邊咳一邊搖頭又擺手，顯然是否決。
皇帝見他咳的艱辛，好心伸手拍著他的背，“看來是真的，嚇成這副模樣。”
他不說也罷，一說季玖就咳的更厲害了，幾乎要背過氣去。
皇帝就不說了。
季玖捂著嗓子，半半天才算是緩過來，順了順氣道：“臣不愛男色。”
皇帝哼了一聲，“朕知道，否則……”否則什麼，他也沒說。
季玖撇開臉，裝著一無所覺，速速喝粥，只求速速逃離。這點心思皇帝還是看得透的，哪裡准他逃開，皇帝說：“那日我問你，‘報之以瓊玖’下一句是什麼，你說你武將不通文墨，駁了回來，今日我再問你，你準備如何答？”
放了手中碗箸，季玖正色道：“臣無知。”
“無知？”皇帝臉上冷了一下，忽而笑了，著人來撤了床上方桌，自己起身放下了帷帳，又解了外袍，“你可曾真無知過？”
季玖僵了一下，見他面色冷肅，似是當真，連忙道：“皇上！”
話剛落音，叫人抱住了。
季玖腦中立時呆滯，下意識的擒住他肩頭，一把推了去，“皇上！”
皇帝被推了一下，也惱怒起來，眯了眼沉沉道：“你敢推朕？！”
季玖伸在半空中的手陡然凝滯，而後緩緩收回，“不敢。”略頓，又道：“臣非皇上後宮裡的孌童。”
皇帝說：“朕比你清楚。”見季玖神色僵硬，緩了一下，道：“你就留在我身邊又如何？”
季玖低下頭，淡淡道：“季玖只能當皇上的將軍，沙場才是臣的宿命。留在皇上身邊，季玖就不是季玖。”
皇帝緘默了，半晌，拉了他的手坐下，在那已磨出老繭的手上摩挲著，又握緊了手，說：“不是季玖，又是誰？”
又能是誰？
他是皇宮裡的帝王，人人臣服於他，敬畏於他。可這世上，卻還有誰，是季玖這樣，願意在他面前，露出幾分真誠的人。皇帝問：
不是季玖，又是誰？
季玖看著他，竟有些恍惚了，仿佛眼前還是多少年前那個被欺辱的皇子，他的伴讀為了他挨了罰，遍體鱗傷的兩個少年偎在一張床上，互相安慰與依靠。
那時候的床榻不是明黃的，沒有威嚴的龍紋，沒有肅穆的雕鏤，簡簡單單甚至到了破敗的地步，那時少年的季玖發出誓言：我一定要扶你坐上王位，憑什麼他們坐得，你就坐不得！那日的皇子，紅著眼，神情是隱忍的脆弱，卻也堅毅果決，認真道：若我當了皇帝，一定要你做我的大將軍，給你天下兵馬！
而後，誓言一一驗證，季玖卻不是那個莽撞季玖，皇帝也不再是那個招人憐惜的少年。
年少的扶持變了味，所以連那些淡若雲煙的情意，也早已變了味。季玖想，若是他沒有登基為帝，或許，或許，或許真的，他們尚有一絲可能。
只是現在，皇帝是皇帝，臣子是臣子，雖都顧念著曾經的情意，卻也不知何時開始，彼此開始了提防。那點絲絲縷縷的曖昧，早就消散無蹤了。
緊了緊那手，季玖道：“皇上若肯真心相待，豈會沒有真心以對的人？”只是那人絕不是季玖。
皇帝說：“朕待你不好？”這麼多年，他依著他，護著他，是人都看得出來，皇帝對這曾經伴讀的寵愛。他卻不領情。
季玖說：“皇上要的並不是季玖。”
“胡說。朕要什麼豈能不自知？”
“皇上要的季玖是為您平定天下的季玖，不是伺候枕畔的季玖。”季玖抽出手，道：“皇上以為自己要季玖麼？皇上要的不過是十年前那對少年而已。”
略頓，季玖又道：“少年終會長大。”
一席話撥動了心思，皇帝坐直身體，也不再說什麼，將那面前將軍擁住了，抱在懷裡，仿佛還是那年落魄皇子，擁住沉聲許諾天下的少年，擁住了面目全非的過往，擁住了那些曾經有過的年少輕狂，抱住了逐漸遠去的堪稱美好的時光。
季玖一動不動，神色安寧，只露出兩分疲倦。
長大成人，也是一種累。只是年少時，卻不知道這些。
便在此時，風聲乍起，燈燭搖晃起來，季玖一凜，翻身抽出懸在架上的寶劍，擋在了皇帝面前。他速度堪稱極快，卻快不過旁人。
燭火搖晃的一瞬，皇帝便不知被何物撞倒，摔在了床榻，隨即喉被死死扼住了喉嚨。
季玖看清時，連忙斷喝一聲：“沈玨放肆！”
那突兀出現的青年紅著眼，殺氣凜然，卻在聽到這一聲後，鬆開了手。
皇帝死裡逃生，捂著喉頭又驚又怒，卻不露端倪，冷冷問一句：“你是誰？”
季玖連忙跪下，“稟陛下，這是臣的侍衛。性情魯莽，心智愚鈍，讓皇上受驚，臣願領罪！”
皇帝一聽就知他在為他開脫，沉默片刻，冷不丁道：“這便是你夜裡的‘帳中人’？”
季玖呆了一下，還不及辯解，就聽沈玨憤怒的道：“胡說八道，不許污蔑我……我家將軍！”
他那話裡的遲疑，被這俱是老奸巨猾的兩人聽得明明白白，皇帝沉吟片刻，道：“宮中守衛森嚴，你如何進得來？”
這一回季玖接過話頭，扯了沈玨跪下道：“他是孤兒，無牽無掛到處遊蕩，學了些奇門遁甲邪門歪道……”皇帝打斷他的話，手指著沈玨：“朕讓他說！”
沈玨瞥了眼一旁爹爹，只好順著他的話說，承認自己學了些“邪門歪道”。
皇帝整了整衣裳坐起身，看著這兩人，笑道：“有趣得很。季玖，你先下去歇息。”
季玖臉上白了一下：“皇上！”
“怎麼？莫非你走了，他還要殺朕不成？”皇帝說，見季玖臉上又僵了一下，也凝住了笑，片刻後道：“既然愛卿不肯從朕，不若讓他跟了朕，如何？”
季玖猛地站起身：“不行！”
皇帝聞言眼神陰鬱起來，望著他反問，“不行？”
沈玨也起了身，扯了扯季玖袍擺，“將軍放心，末將無事。”
季玖斷然道：“不行！”
沈玨呆了一下：“無事的，將軍回去吧。”
皇帝說：“季玖，真以為朕不敢動你？！”
季玖站了片刻，拔了劍出來，往地上一擲，恨聲道：“臣願替養子受罰！”那地上劍鋒明晃晃的，在三人眼前閃爍著銀白，殺氣四溢。
沈玨突地笑了，笑得英挺眉眼多了兩分孩子氣，說：“爹。”
季玖瞪他一眼，硬邦邦的應了聲。
皇帝的神情高深莫測，道：“朕怎麼不知，愛卿收養了義子？”
沈玨說：“爹走吧，孩兒無事。”
季玖不理他。
沈玨又急忙道：“真無事，”又看了眼皇帝，帶了兩分不屑道：“不過是個帝王而已。”
皇帝從未聽人這樣評價過自己，一時竟呆在原處，無話可說。
季玖連忙怒斥：“閉嘴！”
徹徹底底，一團亂麻。
————————————————
Looking at the flames that seemed to be compressed into a small ball, Ji Jiu suddenly felt frustrated. He couldn’t do such a retrograde thing. He was just a mortal and couldn’t do many things. For example, the strange scene in front of him should have caused a commotion in the camp, but now it was silent, as if he was the only one left in the world. These fires, these smoke, including Ji Jiu himself, seemed to be in another mysterious space, making people want to ask: Who am I?
My mind was so confused when another voice came out and lingered in my mind, as if answering: It’s Ji Jiu.
It was Ji Jiu. Ji Jiu sat on the ground dejectedly. After a brief moment of confusion, he straightened up again, washed up, and went to bed. He had no dreams that night.
In addition to military duties every day, Ji Jiu found something else to do, and took the initiative to face the thing he had always refused to face – past life. A man who was almost thirty years old began to follow clues to find his ethereal past life. Ji Jiu thought it was ridiculous. A man who did not believe in gods and Buddhas had lived for more than 20 years, and saw half of his body buried in the ground, and began to study his past life. No matter who he said this to, I am afraid that people would laugh their heads off. But there was nothing he could do. If you walk too much on the night road, you will always encounter ghosts. Ji Jiu did not believe it before, but now he does . He had already made up his mind about where to start. It was impossible to ask the monster. He still had nothing to say to him. Besides, the monster did not come again in this month. The Taoist priest was traveling, and he would not say it even if he found him. Ji Jiu was not such a dirty person. He arrested him and tortured him. After all, he was a Taoist priest, a man out of the world. The only clue left was Shen Jue.
Let’s start with Shen Jue.
Ji Jiu had planned it out and did not intend to alert the enemy. Instead, he retrieved a large number of military documents and found the one with Shen Jue’s name on it. The document clearly stated that Shen Jue was from Yongcheng , twenty-five years old, and both his parents had passed away.
Holding the thick document, Ji Jiu pondered for a long time, took out paper and pen, and copied the two words " Yongcheng " neatly .
He looked through the rest of the soldiers’ documents. There were about ten people from Yongcheng in the barracks . Young people probably knew less. Finally, Ji Jiu fixed his eyes on two people, one was a veteran in the kitchen, and the other was guarding the hay field. Ji Jiu decided to use his own way to find the past events that did not exist in his memory. He was finally willing to face it all, perhaps because of the blood that spread all over the bed, or perhaps because of the suspicion caused by the arm that was too tight around him.
Shen Jue suddenly came in and announced that someone was here to see him.
Ji Jiu covered the messy documents on the table and ordered him to bring them.
The visitor was the Qingshan guest whom he had only met once in the imperial city. Ji Jiu was slightly stunned, then he laughed and said, “Lord Shen." His eyes were calmly looking at the emperor’s favorite, the counselor Shen Hai. Speaking of which, the Ji family also had many retainers, all of whom were talented and outstanding. They all took the imperial examinations and sought jobs, but everyone knew that they were once retainers of the Ji family. The mark of the Ji family may only be erased when the Ji family collapses one day. The man in front of him was the emperor’s retainer. His status and position were very different from those of ordinary retainers, and there was no need to guess his future, as it could be seen with the naked eye . But the emperor had not given him a real job at present, and it was better not to have an official position. Some things that officials could not do were easier to do with the title of counselor.
Ji Jiu thought that he finally had his own confidant. But that person was no longer Ji Jiu.
Shen Hai saluted and said, “General Ji, how are you?"
Ji Jiu invited him to take a seat, ordered someone to serve tea, and then said, “Very good."
Shen Hai looked at him for a moment, then suddenly laughed: “General, why do you have to call me Sir? You don’t even ask me why I’m here."
Ji Jiu just smiled but said nothing, looking at him with sharp and keen eyes. Having been in the army for a long time, he had already developed a unique calmness that only military generals have, but he was also sharp and experienced, and most people could not stand his gaze. The man in front of him sat peacefully, with a calm demeanor, but Ji Jiu saw a hint of depression through his relaxed face. This is a man with a story. Ji Jiu looked at his calmness and the deep depression behind his calmness, thinking that he must be carrying something. Otherwise, why would such a person not go to the imperial examinations to seek fame, but use means to become the emperor’s minister . Everyone knows that serving the emperor is like serving a tiger.
The two looked at each other for a moment. Shen Hai lowered his eyes first and said, “Since the general is like this, I will tell you the truth. It is rumored that the army has started recruiting soldiers in the past month. The emperor asked me to ask a question."
Ji Jiu said: “The memorial has been written, but it has not been submitted yet. Now that the Lord is here, it would be more convenient to present the memorial to the Emperor."
Shen Hai was stunned for a moment, obviously he didn’t expect him to say that, and blurted out: “General, aren’t you afraid that the emperor will get suspicious and take away the Ji family’s seal?"
Ji Jiu smiled and said, “If it’s that simple, why bother letting you make this trip?"
Shen Hai was silent upon hearing this, then he smiled and said, “I will not deliver the memorial on your behalf. Thank you, sir, for accompanying me to the Imperial City. The Emperor is waiting for you."
Ji Jiu agreed without hesitation and set the departure date for the next day, with Shen Jue going along.
The towering palaces of the imperial city were like a painting that was gradually unfolding before his eyes. They were like thick ink in the gradually withering scenery after the beginning of autumn. Ji Jiu stood outside the city and looked up, remembering that when he was a passionate young man, it was here that he went hand in hand with the emperor who sat on the dragon throne today, helped him ascend the throne, helped him sit on the throne, and then today, and even in the future, it was time for him to leave. A sense of melancholy slipped out from the bottom of his heart.
Shen Hai stayed beside him, not saying a word. They waited for him to come to his senses, and then the three of them set off again.
Shen Jue was waiting outside the palace gate, Ji Jiu and Shen Hai went to the study, Ji Jiu was also waiting outside the imperial study, Shen Hai went in first, about a cup of tea later , Shen Hai came out, called Ji Jiu in, and then left.
The eunuchs invited him in, and then left silently. In the huge imperial study, only Ji Jiu and the emperor were left.
The emperor bent over the desk, never looking up. Ji Jiu knelt on one knee and stopped talking. The emperor and his minister seemed to be in a silent stalemate, or as if they had a tacit understanding, waiting for the other to make the first move.
After a long while, the emperor threw down his cinnabar pen and said coldly, “Did you come here just to kneel down for me to see?"
There was no one else in the room this time, Ji Jiu asked: “What does the emperor want?"
“Ji Jiu!" The emperor stood up and waved his sleeves, walked in front of him, and looked down at the black-haired man . “You recruited soldiers without authorization to expand the army. Are you tired of being a general?!"
“Your Majesty," Ji Jiu said calmly, “I dare not."
“Don’t dare?" The emperor raised his lips and smiled sarcastically: “Is there anything in this world that you, Ji Jiu, don’t dare to do? This is the first time I have heard of it."
“Your Majesty." Ji Jiu took out the memorial that had been delayed for a long time , “I have already drafted the memorial for expanding the army, but the weather was not good. It rained for half a month, so the memorial was postponed."
“In this case, it means that Heaven will not allow you to deliver the memorial." The emperor picked up the memorial and threw it on the dragon table beside him, saying slowly: “It can be seen that Heaven will not allow you to expand your army."
Ji Jiu remained calm and said, “The troops have already been expanded. It must be that God did not allow the emperor to receive the memorial immediately."
This sentence made the emperor choke and his face turned blue, but the kneeling man kept his head down and didn’t even look at him, as if he hadn’t noticed anything and pretended to be very serious. Look, you are angry at the air, what does it have to do with me! Ji Jiu has used this set for more than ten years. The emperor thought, why is he still using it today? He has really not improved. He calmed down his anger and let him get up.
After standing up, Ji Jiu still lowered his head , looking trembling, holding his breath, as if he was infinitely afraid and obedient, with his head lowered so low that only his hair was visible to the emperor, which made the emperor angry again. Who wanted to see such docility? He couldn’t help but stretched out his hand to pinch his jaw, forcing the general to raise his face, looking straight at him, and his voice was still sinister: “You have made progress!"
Ji Jiu looked the emperor straight in the eye, his voice still as annoyingly tepid, “Your subject is terrified."
The emperor spat in his heart and couldn’t help asking, “It’s been three years since the incident, and you can’t forget it?"
Ji Jiu tilted his head slightly, shook off the hand that was clamped on his chin, and asked without blinking, “What’s the matter?"
The emperor was silent for a long time before he whispered, “Do you think I don’t want to keep them?" and then he stopped talking.
Ji Jiu finally turned around and fell silent. The fire three years ago burned the main hall of the harem, and also burned more than a dozen princes and nobles who were discussing in the hall, including the emperor’s brother, his uncles… and the woman who was the queen mother. There was even Ji Jiu who finally fell silent after staring at the fire. At that time, he was still naive , always thinking that even in the imperial family, human ethics were necessary, but he never believed that the person who had accompanied him and assisted him wholeheartedly since childhood would be so cruel. Perhaps it was from then on that he realized that one day, they would stand in opposing positions. Either the emperor kills his ministers , or the ministers plot treason!
Ji Jiu lowered his eyes, “It’s all in the past. I don’t remember it."
The emperor turned around, unable to see his expression clearly, but only heard a faint sigh: “Xiao Jiu, you will leave me eventually."
The general said nothing, except at the end, “The emperor will no longer need me one day."
turned around suddenly and said in a firm voice: “No!"
Ji Jiu was silent again. There was only a slight movement of air and floating dust between the two of them. After a long while, Ji Jiu said, “I don’t believe it."
The emperor glared and said, “I am the ruler of the world, how dare you not believe me?!"
Ji Jiu looked at him for a moment, then looked away, “I don’t believe a king who would argue with me here."
The emperor was speechless. Ji Jiu was also speechless after he finished speaking.
After a while, the emperor returned to the dragon throne in a huff and sat down. He picked up the cinnabar brush and threw it aside. Then he picked up the memorial, opened it and threw it aside again. After doing this several times, he pointed to the dessert in the glass cup on the table and said, “Go and have your favorite Biyunsha cake."
Ji Jiu followed the order and sat aside, eating the snacks. After eating two pieces, he put down the snacks, drank a sip of tea, and sat upright.
The emperor had calmed down by then. He opened his memorial, read it for a moment and said, “Don’t worry about recruiting soldiers and training them. The old general will take care of it. Ji Jiu…"
Ji Jiu stood up, lifted his robe, knelt down , and said, “I am here."
“How about I give you another 2,000 elite soldiers?"
Ji Jiu was stunned: “What’s the use?"
“It is said that the Xiongnu royal court is behind the vast desert, and no one has found the road there. I want you to lead the troops there in person and draw a map." The emperor raised his eyes, his gaze cold and majestic: “You want to pacify the northern border, how can you not know the way?"
Ji Jiu knelt there for a long time before speaking, with a subtle excitement in his voice, “I obey your order. But two thousand soldiers are too many, and the supply of food and grass is a problem. Five hundred elite soldiers will be enough."
The emperor was stunned for a moment, “Five hundred? Going to die?"
“It’s nothing. My subordinates and I will pretend to be merchants." Ji Jiuhun didn’t care.
“Really five hundred?" The emperor still hesitated.
“Really?" Ji Jiu said. In fact, he still felt that it was too much.
That’s how it’s settled.
Standing up again, the emperor reviewed the memorials and asked him to sit aside for a while, saying that he had something else to say. Ji Jiu didn’t know what it was, so he sat back down, eating snacks and drinking tea. After he was full and his stomach was full, he felt clear-headed. He had been running all the way back, which was tiring. Now that the important matter was over, he was relieved , and his appetite was restored. Seeing that the emperor still didn’t raise his head, it was obvious that he would be busy for a while, so he rested with his hand on his forehead, and accidentally dozed off and fell asleep.
When he woke up, he found himself lying on a soft couch , covered with a quilt. The quilt was bright yellow and embroidered with flying dragons and flying phoenixes. On the wooden table beside him, a calming incense was burning, and the smoke was curling. Ji Jiu stared blankly for a while, then sat up in a trance. As he moved, he found that there was someone beside him. He turned his head and saw the emperor sitting on the side in a dragon robe, his clothes were disheveled, holding a memorial in his hand, leaning against the head of the bed, with a quilt on his knees. Seeing that he woke up, he glanced from behind the memorial and said, “Did you sleep well?"
Ji Jiu looked at him, seemingly in a daze.
kicked him in the quilt , and asked impatiently, “Are you awake?"
Ji Jiu said “hmm" in a sleepwalking voice: “Wake up."
“Hungry?"
“Yes." Just after he finished answering , Ji Jiu was startled and completely awake. He felt something was wrong, so he quickly stood up, knelt beside the bed and said, “I am rude, please punish me, Your Majesty."
The emperor ignored him and told him to kneel down. He ordered the eunuchs to move a small table and put it on the dragon bed. The eunuchs lowered their heads, placed the tableware on the table, bowed and left without a sound. Only then did they say, “Get up. I haven’t eaten yet. Let’s eat together."
Ji Jiu had no choice but to stand up and take the bowl and chopsticks. The emperor shouted angrily, “Sit down!"
Ji Jiu sat down, next to the edge of the bed.
The emperor and his ministers ate in silence, when suddenly the emperor said, “I heard that there was an extra person in your tent at night."
Ji Jiu was eating cautiously, and when he heard this, he almost spit out the porridge he had just swallowed . He swallowed it quickly and coughed like crazy.
but he remained calm and said slowly , “Some people say that he looks like a man. When did you become interested in this?"
Ji Jiu coughed , shook his head and waved his hands, obviously rejecting it.
The emperor saw how hard he was coughing and kindly patted him on the back, “It seems to be true. You are so scared."
It would have been better if he didn’t say anything. As soon as he said it, Ji Jiu started coughing even more violently and almost passed out.
The emperor didn’t say anything.
Ji Jiu covered his throat and finally recovered after a long while. He took a deep breath and said, “I don’t like men."
The emperor snorted and said, “I know, otherwise…" He didn’t say what else.
Ji Jiu turned his face away, pretending to be unaware, and quickly drank the porridge, hoping to escape quickly. The emperor could see through his thoughts and would not let him escape. The emperor said, “That day I asked you what the next sentence of ‘Repay it with Qiongjiu’ was, and you said that you were a military general and didn’t know how to write, so I rejected it. Today I ask you again, how are you going to answer?"
Putting down the bowl and chopsticks in his hands, Ji Jiu said sternly: “I am ignorant."
“Ignorance?" The emperor’s face turned cold for a moment, then he smiled . He asked someone to remove the bedside table, and he stood up, lowered the curtains, and took off his outer robe. “Have you ever been truly ignorant?"
Ji Jiu froze for a moment, and seeing that his face was stern and serious, he quickly said, “Your Majesty!"
As soon as he finished speaking, he was hugged by someone.
Ji Jiu’s mind froze immediately, and he subconsciously grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away, “Your Majesty!"
The emperor was pushed and became angry. He narrowed his eyes and said solemnly: “How dare you push me?!"
Ji Jiu’s hand, which was stretched out in the air, suddenly froze, and then he slowly retracted it, “I dare not." After a slight pause, he continued, “I am not a boy lover in the emperor’s harem."
The emperor said, “I know better than you." Seeing Ji Jiu’s stiff expression, he relaxed for a moment and said, “What if you just stay with me?"
Ji Jiu lowered his head and said calmly: “Ji Jiu can only be the emperor’s general, and the battlefield is my fate. If I stay with the emperor, Ji Jiu will not be Ji Jiu."
The emperor was silent for a while, then he took his hand and sat down, rubbing his calloused hand, then clenched his hand and said, “If it’s not Ji Jiu, who else could it be?"
Who else could it be?
He is the emperor in the palace, everyone is submissive to him and respects him. But in this world, who else is like Ji Jiu, who is willing to show some sincerity in front of him? The emperor asked:
If it’s not Ji Jiu, then who else could it be?
Ji Jiu looked at him, feeling a little dazed, as if he was still the prince who had been bullied many years ago. His study partner was punished for him, and the two young men, covered in bruises, cuddled together in a bed, comforting and relying on each other.
The bed at that time was not bright yellow, nor did it have majestic dragon patterns or solemn carvings. It was simple and even dilapidated. At that time, the young Ji Jiu made a vow: I must help you sit on the throne. Why can they sit on it but you can’t! The prince that day, with red eyes, looked fragile but resolute. He said seriously: If I become the emperor, I must make you my general and give you all the troops in the world!
Afterwards, the oaths were verified one by one, and Ji Jiu was no longer the reckless Ji Jiu, and the emperor was no longer the pitiful young man.
The support from their youth had changed, so even the light affection had changed. Ji Jiu thought, if he hadn’t ascended the throne, maybe, maybe, maybe they still had a chance.
But now, the emperor is the emperor and the minister is the minister. Although they both cherish the affection they once had, they don’t know when they started to be wary of each other. The slight ambiguity has long disappeared.
Tightening his hand, Ji Jiu said: “If the emperor is willing to treat you sincerely, how could there not be someone who is sincere to him?" But that person is definitely not Ji Jiu.
The emperor asked, “I treat you badly?" For so many years, he had been following him and protecting him. Everyone could see that the emperor loved this former companion. But he did not appreciate it.
Ji Jiu said: “It’s not Ji Jiu that the emperor wants."
“Nonsense. How could I not know what I want?"
“The Ji Jiu that the emperor wants is the Ji Jiu who will pacify the world for you, not the Ji Jiu who will serve you by your side." Ji Jiu pulled his hand away and said, “Does the emperor think he wants Ji Jiu? The emperor only wants the young couple from ten years ago."
After a slight pause, Ji Jiu continued: “The boy will eventually grow up."
These words stirred the emperor’s heart. He sat up straight and said nothing more. He hugged the general in front of him in his arms, as if he was still the down-and-out prince of that year, hugging the young man who made solemn promises to the world, hugging the past that had changed beyond recognition, hugging the youthful recklessness he once had, and hugging the beautiful times that were gradually fading away.
Ji Jiu didn’t move, his expression was peaceful, and only showed a little tiredness.
Growing up is also a kind of tiredness. But when you are young, you don’t know this.
At this moment, the wind suddenly blew and the candles began to sway. Ji Jiu was startled and turned over to draw out the sword hanging on the rack and stood in front of the emperor. His speed was extremely fast, but not as fast as others.
The moment the candle flame flickered, the emperor was knocked down by something and fell on the bed, and then his throat was strangled tightly.
When Ji Jiu saw clearly, he immediately shouted: “Shen Jue, how dare you!"
The young man who suddenly appeared had red eyes and murderous intent, but after hearing this voice, he let go of his hand.
The emperor escaped death, holding his throat in shock and anger, but he did not show any clues and asked coldly: “Who are you?"
Ji Jiu knelt down quickly, " Your Majesty, this is my bodyguard. He is reckless and dull-witted, and frightened the emperor. I accept the blame!"
The emperor knew he was trying to excuse him. He was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked, “Is this the person in your tent at night?"
Ji Jiu was stunned for a moment, and before he could explain, he heard Shen Jue angrily say: “Nonsense, don’t slander me… my general!"
The hesitation in his words was clearly heard by the two cunning men. The emperor hesitated for a moment and said, “The palace is heavily guarded. How did you get in?"
This time, Ji Jiu took over the conversation, pulled Shen Jue to kneel down and said, “He is an orphan, wandering around without any ties, and learned some weird ways of Qimen Dunjia…" The emperor interrupted him and pointed at Shen Jue: “I’ll let him speak!"
Shen Jue glanced at his father beside him, and had to follow his words and admit that he had learned some “evil ways".
The emperor straightened his clothes and sat up, looking at the two of them, and said with a smile: “It’s very interesting. Ji Jiu, you go down and rest first."
Ji Jiu’s face turned pale: “Your Majesty!"
“Why? If you leave, will he still want to kill me?" The emperor said, and when he saw Ji Jiu’s face stiffen again , he also stopped smiling. After a moment, he said, “Since my beloved minister is unwilling to follow me, how about letting him follow me?"
Ji Jiu stood up suddenly: “No!"
The emperor’s eyes darkened when he heard this, and he looked at him and asked, “No?"
Shen Jue also stood up and tugged at the hem of Ji Jiu’s robe, “General, don’t worry, I’m fine."
Ji Jiu said decisively: “No!"
Shen Jue was stunned for a moment: “It’s okay, General, go back."
The emperor said: “Ji Jiu, do you really think I dare not touch you?!"
Ji Jiu stood for a moment, drew out his sword, threw it to the ground, and said hatefully: “I am willing to be punished for my adopted son!" The sword on the ground was shining brightly, flashing silver in front of the three people, and filled with murderous aura.
Shen Jue suddenly smiled, his handsome features adding a bit of childishness, and said, “Dad."
Ji Jiu glared at him and responded stiffly.
The emperor looked mysterious and asked, “How could I not know that you have adopted a son?"
Shen Jue said, “Dad, let’s go. I’m fine."
Ji Jiu ignored him.
Shen Jue hurriedly said, “It’s nothing." He glanced at the emperor again and said with a bit of disdain, “He’s just an emperor."
The emperor had never heard anyone evaluate him like this before, and for a moment he stood there, speechless.
Ji Jiu quickly shouted angrily: “Shut up!”
It’s a complete and utter mess.
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