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評分:3 分,滿分為 5。

遇蛇 Snake Encounter 2·11

  夜涼如水,有風聲自窗櫺穿入,卷起的浮塵依附了床幃,飄蕩起來。
  榻上季玖揭開幃帳,似有所覺,卻等了又等,滿屋寂靜,風聲過後並無人聲。暗夜氣流清冷,燈燭皆暗,這簡單書室在這樣的氛圍裡,驟然靜至孤寂。他浮生偷閒來的一月時光,本該陪著妻兒共用,卻在歸家的第一日,與床榻之上將懷中女子,看成了自己的面貌,仿佛眼睜睜望著自己被人覆在身下……他卻連逃都不能,咬著牙匆匆結束,才裝出若無其事的模樣離開。
  從此這尋常人家閨閣裡的歡欣喜樂,再與他無關。便是不想承認,那妖物對他的影響,也已磨滅不掉,如舊年創傷,就算癒合,還會有瘢痕留下,猙獰無狀。
  
  季玖起身,披了長袍坐在榻上,月色入戶,榻前一方天地如積水般空明,看了片刻,他走了出去。
  院中無人,他只著裡衣,披頭散髮的在院中走著,夜風撩起髮絲,揚起又落下,仿佛空氣裡有一隻無形的手,在戀戀不捨的撫摸。
  這一世他的院中再無花草,怒放的芍藥、蔓延院牆的薔薇、豔紅鵝黃,妍媚綺麗的景象,統統都消泯了。沈清軒的人生,如花朵般絕望而瘋狂的綻放了十三年瞬然凋敝,他卻低調到古樸的程度。仿佛那一世的激烈將他心力蝕至枯竭,這一生只想沉穩安靜的度過,簡單些,再簡單些,他已經耗損一生,再耗不起。站在三生石畔的沈清軒,一縷幽魂靜看著短暫一生,而後捧了孟婆湯,坦然喝下,並無猶豫。
  他愛過,愛而不得,無怨也不悔。來世他卻不想讓自己,再過那一天天壓抑隱忍的日子。
  隱忍到連一句喜歡,都不敢說出口。壓抑到最後一個月,白髮蒼蒼的沈清軒看著年華正好的伊墨,不敢問一句,你可後悔當年與我置氣,損我年華?
  可曾後悔過?哪怕只要有一丁點後悔,他都值了。
  可沈清軒不敢問。這個答案,也不再去想了。
  他已死,伊墨當忘,而後成仙。
  踏過奈何橋,沈清軒歿,季玖生。
  
  不知不覺走出院門,又是一堵高牆,牆壁之間的路方方正正,毫無裝飾,這府宅樓閣,全是如此做工,仿佛工匠們用尺子畫出來的格局,整齊端正,沒有棧橋流水,也無荷塘月色。卻因占地極大,由此而生一種闊朗,也是一種端肅。季玖在高牆的陰影下慢吞吞的走著,偶爾走進月色裡,很快又退回暗處,無聲又無息。
  不知不覺,走到偏院,客居之所。季玖想起這是沈玨住的院子,略頓了頓,推開院門走進去。院中也無人聲,卻有光亮,燭光透過窗上薄紗映出,灑落在視窗的臺階,鋪了一層橘色。此時已是深夜,沈玨也不曾睡。
  季玖透過窗戶,望見了室內的兩道人影,似乎正在桌邊飲酒。偶爾有交談,聲音熟悉,是那妖物與沈玨,談些什麼卻聽不大清。季玖不想做竊聽人,轉身要走,卻又在聽到“皇帝”一詞時頓住步伐,折身回來。
  其時沈玨正與伊墨談到皇城裡的帝王,英武不凡,有趣得很。而後猛地頓住聲,父子對望一眼,默默地轉頭看向窗外。那人竟在聽牆根,多麼有趣。
  伊墨放了酒杯,仿若一切都不曾洞明,續了前面的話頭,道:“覺得有趣,是動了念頭了。”
  “或許是。”沈玨俐落的道,沉靜片刻,忽地一笑道:“我真身他見過,也不以為意,仍起色心,這樣的人也是天下無雙。”
  伊墨挑了挑眉,卻未接了這句話。那世沈清軒知他是妖,也沒有露出怯意,後來他現真身,那人唬了一跳卻也不曾將他推開。
  也許這便是妖的悲哀,人形都是好的,讓人歡喜。一旦露了真身,那些原先歡喜的人,都畏懼了,退卻而逃。茫茫人海裡,遇到那一個不畏懼不害怕,反而敢黏上來的,便多了幾分欣賞,連帶著憐惜與珍重,也就油然而生了。
  伊墨自斟了酒,遞到唇邊,仿佛只是隨意說說般道:“我活一千多年,也才遇到一個敢將我真身抱著的人類。”說完飲了酒,放下空杯。
  冰涼液體滑入喉,暖了嗓子暖了胃,卻暖不了心,會把他捂在心尖上的那人已經不在了。
  
  沈玨重新給他斟滿酒,放下酒壺,沉默片刻道:“爹爹要去尋匈奴王庭,父親可去幫他?”
  伊墨搖了搖頭,“不去。”
  “這一路艱險,孩兒道行淺顯也未必護得住,父親當真不去?”
  “在他心裡,這是他此生功業,旁人不許插手。我便是幫他送他到匈奴,替他繪了圖形,他也是不領情。他的事,他要自己做。”伊墨淡淡道:“否則他這一生,就無意義了,來日他死,站在三生石前,又會怨我多事。”
  伊墨輕描淡寫地說著,端起酒來,慢慢啜飲,卻想起那年天劫一過,他回山蛻皮,那人便在這個時間去父母前請罪,受了滿身傷的情景。
  一直都是這樣的性子。該他去做的,絕不推諉,該他受的,再苦也不推脫。從不因為身邊有法力高強的妖,而心存僥倖,投機取巧。
  說是奸猾狡黠,卻又磊落的讓人頭疼,說是光明正大,卻又常常使些奸詐手段。正是這樣矛盾的性子,才有那樣瘋狂決絕的沈清軒。讓他捨不得放手。
  
  沈玨點點頭,認同了他的話,道:“孩兒傾力就是。”這樣說著,又忍不住看向窗外那個一直喚作“爹爹”的人。這一世,除了他還有另外兩個人,也有這樣的資格,去喚他爹爹。沈玨心裡並無怨懟,自知這份親情割捨不下的只是自己,戀戀不捨的,也只是自己。而窗下那人,卻飲了孟婆湯,忘了前塵過往,娶妻生子本是人間尋常,他不怪他。真要細究起來,爹爹的這一世,兒女情長的日子加在一起,也沒有他曾經一年中所得的多。
  這一世的幼子幼女,哪一個真正享受過父子親情呢?做了將軍的季玖,常年是不在家的。哪裡比得上他,幼時天天偎在沈清軒懷裡的快樂無邪。
  
  伊墨飲了最後一杯酒,起身道:“晚了,我走了。”
  沈玨跟著起身,卻問:“去哪裡?”
  伊墨說:“隨便。”隨便,並不在意。他是妖,不需要人類的軟榻綿褥,不受拘束,便是躺在路邊也可入眠,便是守著枯枝也可修煉。天曠地闊,他要尋一個棲身之地再容易不過。只是一百多年前,不曾識得沈清軒,他是浪蕩天地;一百年後,沈清軒入土,他便顛沛流離。
  流浪至今。
  
  季玖站在窗下,臉上是空泛的,並無情緒,也無悲苦,更無怨憎,只那麼靜靜站著,聽著,而後仰頭看著空中月亮,月華的光暈罩在他的臉上,他的面孔模糊起來,棱角被鍍上一層柔光,全然一片皎潔安寧,冷寂而蒼涼。
  門“吱”的一聲,開了。
  門後伊墨走出來,站在門檻處,轉過臉,他的眼睛漆黑如墨,在幽渺的光中亮著,向著對面,怔然相望。
  視線相撞,仿佛綴滿植被的古老岩層發生裂變,地表之下有暗流湧動,塵埃與泥土震顫著揮灑,暗流破土而出,霎時遮天蔽日席捲而來,季玖整個身體都在微微顫抖。
  伊墨走過去了。
  他的腳下是無聲的,卻又像帶著千鈞之力,每一步都仿佛要在地上留下腳印,那腳印一步又一步,由遠及近,由淺至深,緩慢卻有力的傾軋過去,仿佛要踩在季玖心上,仿佛要將他現有的世界碾碎。季玖顫得更厲害了。
  終於在他面前站定,伊墨望著他的眼,安靜下來。
  仿佛狂風暴雨的席捲,摧枯拉朽之勢,卻又在這人面前,收起一切淩厲與可能的摧折。只是站著,安安靜靜,默然相望,將他守護在眼前。
  
  季玖閉了閉眼,再睜開,低聲問:“你是誰?”
  “妖。”他答。
  “何名?”他又問。
  “伊墨。”
  “我是誰?”
  伊墨微微垂下眼,反問一句:“你想成為誰?”
  “季玖。”他睜大了眼,沉靜又堅定:“我是季玖。”
  伊墨認真看著他,而後頷首,“你是季玖。”
  
  是季玖。伊墨說。
  季玖站在原地,有風從身後刮起,滿頭烏髮淩亂的飄搖起來,逆行而襲,遮了他的臉。
  有手臂伸出,漆黑的寬袍大袖,將衣衫單薄的季玖攬進懷裡。
  風聲驟停,寒氣消散,寬大袍袖如布帳如鐵牆,絕了外界風飄雨搖,只留淡淡草木清香,安寧世界。

————————————————

The night was as cool as water. There was the sound of wind blowing in through the window lattice, and the dust it stirred up clung to the bed curtains and floated away.

Ji Jiu opened the curtains on the couch, as if he had sensed something, but he waited and waited. The whole room was silent, and there was no sound after the sound of the wind. The air was cold in the dark night, and the lights were all dim. In such an atmosphere, this simple study suddenly became quiet and lonely. He should have spent the month of leisure time he had stolen from his life with his wife and children, but on the first day of returning home, he mistook the woman in his arms for his own face on the bed, as if he was watching himself being covered by someone… But he couldn’t even escape, and he gritted his teeth and hurriedly ended it, then pretended to leave as if nothing had happened.

From then on, the joy and happiness of this ordinary family’s boudoir had nothing to do with him. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, the influence of the monster on him was indelible, just like an old wound, even if it heals, there will still be scars left, hideous and ugly.

Ji Jiu stood up, put on a long robe and sat on the couch . The moonlight came in through the room, and the space in front of the couch was as clear and empty as a pool of water . After looking for a moment, he walked out.

There was no one in the yard. He was walking in the yard wearing only his inner clothes and with disheveled hair. The night wind lifted his hair, raising it up and then falling down, as if there was an invisible hand in the air, caressing him lingeringly.

In this life, there are no more flowers and plants in his courtyard. The blooming peonies, the roses spreading along the courtyard walls, the bright red and yellow, the beautiful and charming scenes, have all disappeared. Shen Qingxuan’s life, like a flower, bloomed desperately and madly for thirteen years and withered in an instant , but he was low-key to the point of simplicity. It seemed that the intensity of that life had exhausted his heart and energy . In this life, he just wanted to spend his life calmly and quietly, simply, and more simply. He had already wasted his life and could not afford to waste it again. Shen Qingxuan, standing by the Three Lives Stone, looked at his short life quietly like a ghost, and then held the Mengpo soup and drank it calmly without hesitation.

He had loved before, but he was not able to get the love he wanted, and he had no complaints or regrets. But in his next life, he did not want to live a life of repression and forbearance again.

was so patient that I didn’t even dare to say that I liked her. After suppressing myself for the last month, the gray-haired Shen Qingxuan looked at Yi Mo, who was in her prime, and didn’t dare to ask, “Do you regret getting angry with me and wasting my youth?"

Have you ever regretted it? Even if you have only a little regret, it is worth it.

But Shen Qingxuan didn’t dare to ask, and he stopped thinking about the answer.

He is dead, Yi Mo should forget him and then become an immortal.

After crossing the Naihe Bridge, Shen Qingxuan died and Ji Jiu was born.

Unconsciously, I walked out of the courtyard gate and saw another high wall. The road between the walls was square and without any decoration. The mansion and pavilions were all made in this way, as if the pattern was drawn by craftsmen with a ruler, neat and straight, without a trestle bridge or flowing water, or a lotus pond with moonlight. However, because of the huge area, it gave rise to a sense of spaciousness and solemnity . Ji Jiu walked slowly under the shadow of the high wall, occasionally walking into the moonlight, and quickly retreating back into the darkness, silently and without a trace.

Unconsciously, they walked to the side courtyard, the guest residence. Ji Jiu remembered that this was the courtyard where Shen Jue lived. After a brief pause, he pushed open the door and walked in. There was no sound in the courtyard, but there was light. The candlelight shone through the gauze on the window, sprinkled on the steps of the window, and spread a layer of orange. It was already late at night, and Shen Jue had not slept yet.

Ji Jiu looked through the window and saw two figures in the room, who seemed to be drinking at the table. Occasionally, there was a conversation, and the voices were familiar, it was the monster and Shen Jue, but he couldn’t hear what they were talking about. Ji Jiu didn’t want to be an eavesdropper, so he turned around to leave, but when he heard the word “emperor" , he stopped and turned back.

At that time, Shen Jue was talking to Yi Mo about the emperor in the imperial city, who was heroic and interesting. Then he suddenly stopped talking, and the father and son looked at each other, then turned their heads and looked out the window silently. That person was actually eavesdropping on the wall, how interesting.

Yi Mo put down the wine glass, as if he had never understood anything, and continued with the previous conversation, saying: “I find it interesting, and I have an idea."

“Maybe." Shen Jue said neatly, and after a moment of silence, he suddenly smiled and said, “He has seen my true form, but he didn’t take it seriously and still had lustful thoughts about me. Such a person is unparalleled in the world."

Yi Mo raised his eyebrows but did not respond. In that life, Shen Qingxuan knew that he was a demon, but he did not show any fear. Later, when he showed his true form, the man was startled but did not push him away.

Perhaps this is the sadness of the demons. The human form is good and makes people happy. Once the true form is revealed, those who were happy before are afraid and retreat and flee. In the vast sea of people, if you meet someone who is not afraid and dares to stick to you, you will appreciate him a little more, and even pity and cherish him will arise spontaneously.

Yi Mo poured himself a glass of wine, brought it to his lips, and said casually, “I have lived for more than a thousand years, and only now have I met a human who dares to hold my real body in his arms." After saying that, he drank the wine and put down the empty glass.

The cold liquid slid into his throat, warming his throat and stomach, but not his heart. The person who would hold him close to her heart was no longer there.

Shen Jue refilled his glass of wine, put down the wine pot, and said in silence for a moment: “Dad wants to go to find the Xiongnu royal court, can father go to help him?"

Yi Mo shook his head, “No."

“This journey is dangerous, and even with my limited skills, I may not be able to protect you. Father, are you really not going to go?"

“In his mind, this is his life’s work, and no one else is allowed to interfere. Even if I helped him send him to the Xiongnu and drew a map for him, he would not appreciate it. He has to do his own thing." Yi Mo said calmly: “Otherwise, his life will be meaningless. When he dies in the future and stands in front of the Three Lives Stone, he will blame me for being nosy."

Yi Mo spoke lightly, picked up the wine and sipped it slowly, but he recalled the time when, after the catastrophe that year, he returned to the mountain to shed his skin, and that man went to his parents to apologize at this time, suffering injuries all over his body.

He has always been like this. He never shirks his responsibilities, and never shirks his duties, no matter how hard it is. He never takes chances or takes shortcuts just because there are powerful monsters around him.

He is cunning and sly, but he is also so upright that it gives people a headache. He is upright and honest, but he often uses treacherous means. It is precisely because of this contradictory character that Shen Qingxuan is so crazy and resolute. He is reluctant to let go.

Shen Jue nodded, agreed with him, and said, “I will do my best." As he said this, he could not help but look out the window at the man he had always called “Daddy". In this life, besides him, there are two other people who are also qualified to call him Daddy. Shen Jue had no resentment in his heart, because he knew that it was only himself who could not give up this family relationship, and it was only himself who was reluctant to let go. But the man under the window drank Mengpo soup and forgot his past. It was normal for him to get married and have children, and he did not blame him. If you really want to look into it, the days of love between Daddy and his children in this life combined are not as many as what he had in a year.

Which of the youngest sons and daughters in this life has truly enjoyed the love between father and son? Ji Jiu, who has become a general, is often away from home. How can he compare to him, who was happy and innocent when he was young, snuggling in Shen Qingxuan’s arms every day.

Yi Mo drank the last glass of wine, stood up and said, “It’s late, I’m leaving."

Shen Jue stood up and asked, “Where are we going?"

Yi Mo said, “Whatever." Whatever, he didn’t care. He was a demon, he didn’t need the soft beds and quilts of humans , he was not bound, he could fall asleep even if he was lying on the roadside, he could practice even if he was guarding a dead branch. The sky was vast, it was easy for him to find a place to live. But more than a hundred years ago, he had never met Shen Qingxuan, he was wandering around the world; a hundred years later, Shen Qingxuan was buried, and he became displaced.

Wandering till now.

Ji Jiu stood under the window, his face was empty, without any emotion, no sadness, and no resentment. He just stood there quietly, listening, and then looked up at the moon in the sky. The halo of moonlight covered his face, and his features became blurred, and the edges were coated with a layer of soft light. He looked completely bright and peaceful, cold and desolate.

The door opened with a creak.

Yi Mo walked out from behind the door, stood at the threshold, turned his head, his eyes were as black as ink , shining in the dim light, and stared at the opposite side in shock .

Their eyes met, and it was as if the ancient rock strata covered with vegetation were fissioning, and an undercurrent was surging beneath the surface. Dust and soil were shaking and scattering. The undercurrent broke out of the ground, and in an instant it covered the sky and swept over. Ji Jiu’s whole body was shaking slightly.

Yi Mo walked over.

His footsteps were silent, but they seemed to carry a tremendous force. Every step seemed to leave footprints on the ground. The footprints moved one after another, from far to near, from shallow to deep, slowly but powerfully, as if they were stepping on Ji Jiu’s heart, as if they were going to crush his existing world. Ji Jiu trembled even more violently.

Finally standing in front of him, Yi Mo looked into his eyes and calmed down.

It was like a violent storm sweeping across the sky, with the power to destroy everything in its path, but in front of this person, it withdrew all its fierceness and possible destruction. It just stood there, quietly, staring at him in silence, guarding him in front of its eyes.

Ji Jiu closed his eyes, then opened them again and asked in a low voice: “Who are you?"

“Demon." he answered.

“What’s your name?" he asked again.

“Yi Mo."

“who I am?"

Yi Mo lowered his eyes slightly and asked back: “Who do you want to be?"

“Ji Jiu." He opened his eyes wide, calmly and firmly: “I am Ji Jiu."

Yi Mo looked at him seriously, then nodded, “You are Ji Jiu."

It’s Ji Jiu, Yi Mo said.

Ji Jiu stood in place, wind blew from behind him, his black hair fluttered in disarray, and then blew against his will, covering his face.

An arm stretched out, with wide black robe and large sleeves, and embraced the thinly clothed Ji Jiu.

The wind suddenly stopped, the cold air dissipated, the wide sleeves of the robe were like a cloth tent or an iron wall, cutting off the wind and rain from the outside world, leaving only the faint fragrance of grass and trees, and a peaceful world.


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