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評分:3 分,滿分為 5。

遇蛇 Snake Encounter 2·17

  話剛落地,季玖的臉倏添三分紅豔,他是識了風月的人,自然聽得出自己這兩字裡的嗔怒。先嗔後怒,微嗔薄怒,是帶著旖旎之意的。
  幸而周邊無人,除了他自己,以及床上那團醉酒不省人事的大蛇。季玖心跳的快了些,傳到耳朵裡,耳膜似乎都在震顫,震的他不知如何是好,呆站在原地,光著的腳踝被夜裡寒涼的冷氣侵蝕,一直往上,身上熱氣漸漸散了,面龐也不燒了,季玖才重新坐回床上。
  
  坐了片刻,兩手抓著蛇身提起來,季玖用腳趾勾過箱子,將那蛇扔了回去——回你的箱子裡做春秋大夢吧!季玖惡狠狠的想著,咬牙切齒的模樣,卻無由來的又攏了攏衣襟,棉柔的小衣摩擦過胸口,那紅腫的地方泛起一絲絲酥疼,季玖手滯了一下,瞪著已經被合上的箱子,臉上又紅三分,同時心裡不由得又罵了一句,這次再不敢罵“壞蛇”,而是說:色胚!
  用腳將那箱子蹬到一旁,季玖將自己衣物攏嚴實了,這才重新睡下。
  蜷在被窩裡合上眼,剛要入睡,冷不丁的突然想到沈玨,怎麼每次都叫他撞見?看那樣子,倒不是十分驚奇。難不成前世與這蛇已經荒誕到歡好都不忌諱孩子在旁了嗎?想到這裡又突然一愣,季玖險些抬手扇自己兩巴掌,這都在想些什麼呢。
  這麼一來,他心裡又有了氣,放在往常,他也是個不喜形於色的人,遇到這蛇之後,也不知怎麼回事,就是忍不住。回回被氣到失控。
  這一回也未曾例外。季玖心裡的氣惱只好回報給肇事之徒,他又翻身坐起來。把那箱子抱著,一直抱到木桌前重重放下,讓那蛇孤零零的在桌子上。自己回身,放下床帷,眼不見心不煩的躺回去了。
  
  第二日清晨,天邊剛泛起魚肚白,季玖便醒了。惺忪著眼撩開帷帳,第一眼便看見了並不明朗的光線裡,墨藍烏黑的木箱。在那木桌上靜靜放著,與清晨冷清的光色中,說不清的寂寥模樣。
  季玖維持著撩開帷帳的姿勢,看著它,看了很久。
  
  整好行李再次上路,沈玨背著木箱照舊走在最後,季玖喚他到身邊來,道:“這一路不會太平,你別背著它了,找個熟識的人託管了吧。”
  沈玨沒料到他會找自己來說這事,愣了一下才反問:“爹是擔心他,還是擔心我?”
  “……”他問得過於直接,甚至尖銳了,季玖緩了緩才說:“我擔心他作甚,只是你是我的侍衛,若是緊急關頭,你救他卻不救我,我豈不是死的冤枉。”
  “他用不著我救。”沈玨說。見季玖神色疑惑,很快笑了一下道:“若真有事,我就刨個坑把它埋了,也不會有人發現。我還是會救爹爹的。”
  季玖想了想刨坑埋蛇的情景,忍不住暗自發笑,道:“你也不怕悶死它。”
  “它墳墓都鑽了,還怕土坑嗎?”沈玨咧嘴道:“頂多變成蛇幹。”
  季玖腦子不由自主的浮現出那威武大蛇變成蛇幹的情景,頓時啞口無言,好一會,才望著沈玨道:“你也不知誰教出來的,表裡不如一。”
  沈玨對這項罪名極為不解,連忙追問,季玖卻不理他。沈玨鍥而不捨,一問再問,甚至因靠的駝隊太近,惹起了群駝們的騷動了,季玖只好給他解釋,道:“在他面前,你定然不敢這樣說。在我面前就信口開河了。難不成我還要誇你表裡如一?”
  這一回換沈玨無言以對。站在原地,待季玖都走的老遠了,才拔腿追上去,拽著季玖袖擺,低低道:“可是在爹面前,我一直都是這麼做的。”
  季玖問:“為什麼?”
  他問為什麼,卻沒有問哪個爹。儘管有諸多不滿與不情願,還是承認的前世的自己,是眼前青年的爹爹,是箱子裡大蛇的戀人。季玖這一生都不曾逃避過責任,這一回也不曾例外,如前世沈清軒一樣,認也認的坦蕩,從來不計較細枝末節。
  只是,到底他此世是季玖,飲了孟婆湯的季玖,前塵往事俱消散,提起來也是一片空白。
  
  季玖問為什麼,小寶答道:“我以前怕極了他。因為爹在,才不怕的。那樣的話,若是他醒著我也不是不敢說,而是我說的時候,要有爹在場才行,若是只對他一人,我說了就像是冒犯一樣……”
  “冒犯什麼?”季玖又問。
  小寶想了想,道:“我也說不好,像是冒犯神祗一樣。但是爹在場我就敢說。”
  季玖追問:“為什麼敢?”
  這似乎是個很難回答的問題,讓小寶沉默很久,濃眉一直緊鎖著,眉間都要擰出一個疙瘩來。季玖等了一會,沒有答案,也不太想為難他,說了聲上路就要繼續往前走。
  小寶卻突然喊住他,臉上帶著笑,像是攻克難關後的輕鬆笑容,道:“因為有爹在的時候,他不像是修煉千年的妖,不像是無悲無喜修煉者,而是一個普通人。”
  也會笑,也會說話,也會講一些離奇的故事,還會同他們談世間冷暖人心,還會抱著懷裡的人,眯著眼在陽光下斜倚著廊柱曬太陽……會做很多他一個人時不曾做的事,早已不食人間煙火,卻會在晚飯時戳著飯菜挑挑揀揀。會在冬天抱著手爐打盹,連變回原形了都不知道。變成蛇的時候會盤在人身上,鑽進貼身的中衣裡幹一些壞事,惹得沈清軒坐立不安,匆匆跑回房裡解決身上纏著的大蛇。
  他會做很多無意義的事,明知道對他漫長的生命來說這樣的事並無意義,卻一直也沒有中止,甚至還想延續下去。越來越不像冷心修行的妖。
  只不過,是一個可以喚作父親,可以對著他偶爾撒嬌的普通人。
  
  季玖聽懂了。再饒舌的話,只需思索片刻,他就能聽明白。他明白了,卻也沉默了。
  沈玨緊了緊背上的木箱,認真的看著他。
  季玖迎著他的視線,良久方開口道:“妖怎麼能做人?”
  他說:“妖就是妖,潛心修煉成仙才是正道。”
  妖就是妖,免了生老病死已是萬幸,何必再去人間走一遭愛恨貪嗔癡。人的生命,不過浮華一瞬,如黑夜亮起的燭火,總有燃盡的時候。既然是妖,又何必學那些飛蛾,非要撲過去,尚未傷人,且先自傷。
  
  季玖垂下眼,望著腳下黃土沙路,低聲喃喃:“若真是喜歡,怎麼會忍心讓他受這番苦。”他仿佛說給自己聽,又像是說給旁人聽,說給那些在的,或不在的人聽。只是聲音太輕,風一吹就散了。
  沈玨耳聰目明,聽得清清楚楚,愣怔後問他:“若是甘願受苦,那苦還是苦嗎?”
  季玖抬起眼,掃他一眼,並沒有再回應。而是轉身走了,繼續朝前。他自知自己生命也不過是浮華一瞬,卻要燃到最猛烈之後才肯熄滅,那一瞬間的光彩奪目,便是他活著的意義。他有自己活著的目的,但那目的絕對不是與沈玨打機鋒。所以,這樣的話,季玖是不會回應的。二十七年的生命歷程,足夠他有自己的思想與判斷,孰是孰非,一目了然。縱然知道現在的處置將來未必妥當,也不更改——既然已經糾纏一世,再次轉世為人,又何必再繼續執著。
  那一世的好與壞季玖不清楚,也不想知道,但這一世,該到此打住。
  成仙,總比做妖好。
  做妖,總比在紅塵輾轉滿心煩惱滿身利祿要好。
  若是將成仙時卻逢突變,被打回原形,或者神魂俱滅,那他活了千年,又有何意義。
  
  季玖想,自己有自己活著的意義。但這個意義,絕不會是毀了旁人。哪怕那是一隻蛇。
  季玖是這樣想的,卻不知道,已經來不及了。
  他前世用了短暫的十三年,教會了那妖人間情愛,帶著他與這吵吵嚷嚷的人間流連。
  做妖成仙或許有很多好,在那妖眼裡,卻抵不過曾經相伴時的任何一天。
  
  天堂太遠,人間正好。

————————————————

As soon as the words fell, Ji Jiu’s face suddenly became three points redder. He was a man who knew the world of love, so he could naturally hear the anger in his two words. First angry , then angry , slightly angry , with a charming meaning.

Fortunately, there was no one around except himself and the drunken snake on the bed. Ji Jiu’s heartbeat was a little faster, and it reached his ears, and his eardrums seemed to vibrate. He didn’t know what to do. He stood there, his bare ankles eroded by the cold air in the night, and went up. The heat in his body gradually dissipated, and his face was no longer burning. Ji Jiu sat back on the bed.

After sitting for a while, Ji Jiu grabbed the snake’s body with both hands and lifted it up. He hooked his toes through the box and threw the snake back – Go back to your box and dream about the future! Ji Jiu thought viciously, gritting his teeth, but for no reason he pulled his clothes together again. The soft cotton clothes rubbed against his chest, and the red and swollen area felt a little painful. Ji Jiu’s hands paused for a moment, staring at the closed box, his face turned redder, and at the same time he couldn’t help but curse again in his heart. This time he didn’t dare to call him “bad snake", but said: pervert!

Ji Jiu kicked the box aside, gathered his clothes tightly, and went back to sleep.

Curling up in the quilt and closing his eyes , he was about to fall asleep when he suddenly thought of Shen Jue. Why did he always run into him? He didn’t look very surprised. Could it be that he had been so absurd with this snake in his previous life that he didn’t even mind having children around? Thinking of this, Ji Jiu was suddenly stunned again. He almost raised his hand and slapped himself twice. What was he thinking about?

As a result, he was angry again. Normally, he was not a person who showed his emotions, but after encountering this snake, he could not help it. He was so angry that he lost control.

This time was no exception. Ji Jiu had no choice but to return the anger to the perpetrator. He turned over and sat up again. He carried the box to the wooden table and put it down heavily, leaving the snake alone on the table. He turned around, lowered the bed curtain , and lay back down, not bothered by it.

The next morning, Ji Jiu woke up just as the sky was turning pale. He opened the curtain with sleepy eyes and saw the dark blue and black wooden box in the dim light. It was quietly placed on the wooden table, and in the cold light of the morning, it looked indescribably lonely.

Ji Jiu maintained the posture of lifting the curtain and looked at it for a long time.

After packing up their luggage, they set out again. Shen Jue carried the wooden box on his back and walked at the end as usual. Ji Jiu called him to his side and said, “This journey will not be safe. Don’t carry it. Find someone you know to entrust it to you."

Shen Jue didn’t expect that he would come to him to talk about this. He was stunned for a moment before asking back: “Dad, are you worried about him or me?"

“…" His question was too direct, even sharp. Ji Jiu paused before saying, “Why should I worry about him? It’s just that you are my bodyguard. If in an emergency, you save him but not me, wouldn’t I die unjustly?"

“He doesn’t need me to save him." Shen Jue said. Seeing Ji Jiu’s puzzled expression, he quickly smiled and said, “If there is really something, I will dig a hole and bury it, and no one will find it. I will still save Dad."

Ji Jiu thought about the scene of digging a pit to bury the snake , and couldn’t help laughing to himself, saying: “You are not afraid of suffocating it to death."

“It has already dug a grave, so why would it be afraid of a dirt pit?" Shen Jue grinned and said, “At most it will turn into a dried snake."

Ji Jiu couldn’t help but think of the scene of the mighty snake turning into a dried snake. He was speechless for a while before he looked at Shen Jue and said, “I don’t know who taught you this. You look different on the outside but not on the inside ."

Shen Jue was very confused about this charge and asked questions immediately, but Ji Jiu ignored him. Shen Jue was persistent and asked again and again, and even caused a commotion among the camels because he was too close to the camel caravan . Ji Jiu had to explain to him, saying, “You would never dare to say that in front of him. But you just said it in front of me. Do you think I should praise you for being consistent?"

This time it was Shen Jue’s turn to be speechless. He stood there, waiting for Ji Jiu to walk far away, then he ran after him, tugged at Ji Jiu’s sleeve, and whispered, “But in front of Dad, I always do this."

Ji Jiu asked: “Why?"

He asked why, but did not ask which father. Despite many dissatisfactions and reluctances, he still admitted that in his previous life, he was the father of the young man in front of him and the lover of the big snake in the box. Ji Jiu had never evaded responsibility in his life, and this time was no exception. Just like Shen Qingxuan in his previous life, he admitted it openly and never cared about the details.

However, after all, he is Ji Jiu in this life. After drinking Meng Po soup, Ji Jiu’s past has all disappeared, and everything is blank when he mentions it.

Ji Jiu asked why, Xiao Bao replied: “I was very afraid of him before. I was not afraid because my father was there. In that case, if he was awake, I would not be afraid to tell him, but when I tell him, my father must be present. If I tell him alone, it would be like an offense…"

“What’s the offense?" Ji Jiu asked again.

Xiao Bao thought for a moment and said, “I can’t really say it. It seems like an offense to the gods. But I dare to say it when my father is here."

Ji Jiu asked: “Why dare you?"

This seemed to be a difficult question to answer, and Xiao Bao was silent for a long time, with his thick eyebrows furrowed tightly , and a knot seemed to form between his eyebrows. Ji Jiu waited for a while, but there was no answer, and he didn’t want to embarrass him, so he said, “Let’s go," and continued walking forward.

Xiao Bao suddenly called him, with a smile on his face, as if he was relieved after overcoming difficulties, and said: “Because when Dad is around, he doesn’t look like a demon who has practiced for thousands of years, nor does he look like a cultivator who has no sorrow or joy, but an ordinary person."

He would laugh, talk, tell some bizarre stories, talk to them about the warmth and coldness of the world, hold the person in his arms, and lean against the pillars in the sun with his eyes squinting… He would do many things that he never did when he was alone. He had long since left the world, but he would pick and choose the food at dinner. He would take a nap with a hand warmer in the winter, and he would not even know that he had turned back to his original form. When he turned into a snake, he would coil around people, get into their underwear and do some bad things, which made Shen Qingxuan restless, and he hurried back to his room to get rid of the big snake wrapped around his body.

He would do a lot of meaningless things, knowing that such things were meaningless to his long life, but he never stopped and even wanted to continue. He was becoming less and less like a cold-hearted demon.

He is just an ordinary person who can be called father and to whom I can act coquettishly occasionally.

Ji Jiu understood. No matter how much he talked, he only needed to think for a moment before he could understand. He understood, but he also remained silent.

Shen Jue tightened the wooden box on his back and looked at him seriously.

Ji Jiu met his gaze, and after a long while he spoke, “How can a demon be a human?"

He said: “A demon is a demon. The right way is to cultivate and become an immortal."

A demon is a demon. It is a blessing to be free from birth, old age, sickness and death. Why should it go through love, hate, greed, anger and ignorance in the human world? Human life is but a fleeting moment, like a candle lit in the dark night, which will eventually burn out. Since it is a demon, why should it learn from those moths that have to fly over and hurt themselves before hurting others?

Ji Jiu lowered his eyes, looked at the yellow sand road under his feet, and murmured in a low voice: “If I really like him, how could I bear to let him suffer like this." He seemed to be speaking to himself, but also to others, to those who were there or not. But the voice was too soft and was blown away by the wind.

Shen Jue had sharp ears and eyes, and heard it clearly. After being stunned for a moment, he asked him, “If you are willing to suffer, is it still suffering?"

Ji Jiu raised his eyes, glanced at him, and did not respond. Instead, he turned around and walked away, continuing to move forward. He knew that his life was only a fleeting moment, but it would not be extinguished until it burned to its most intense. That moment of brilliance was the meaning of his life. He had his own purpose in life, but that purpose was definitely not to play wit with Shen Jue. Therefore, Ji Jiu would not respond to such words. Twenty-seven years of life experience were enough for him to have his own thoughts and judgments, and it was clear what was right and what was wrong. Even though he knew that the current treatment might not be appropriate in the future, he would not change it – since he had been entangled for a lifetime and reincarnated as a human being again, why should he continue to cling to it.

Ji Jiu didn’t know what was good and bad in that life, nor did he want to know, but this life should stop here.

It is better to become an immortal than a demon.

Being a demon is better than wandering in the world with full of worries and greed.

If he were to become an immortal but something unexpected happened and he was reduced to his original form, or his soul was destroyed, then what would be the point of him living for a thousand years?

Ji Jiu thought that he had his own meaning in life, but this meaning would never be to destroy others, even if it was a snake.

Ji Jiu thought so, but he didn’t know that it was too late.

In his previous life, he spent the short thirteen years teaching the monster about human love and took him to wander in this noisy world.

There may be many advantages to becoming a demon and becoming an immortal, but in the eyes of the demon, it cannot compare to any day they had been together.

Heaven is too far away, the world is just right.


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