無論多平靜的生活，偶爾都會激起一絲波瀾。
沈玨在院中練劍，季玖坐在一旁看著，伊墨歪在他的竹椅旁打盹。這個再尋常不過的午後，劍鋒威凜的沈玨卻突然挽了個劍花，收起長劍站到了一旁。
季玖有些意外，正在這時，院門被叩響了。門環叩在木板上，一聲接著一聲，季玖示意沈玨去開門。
院門剛打開，門後的女子便走了進來，季玖微愣，很快道：“夫人。”卻叫人趴在腿上，站不起來。
季柳氏牽著幼女，身後帶著奴婢，站在院門處，一眼便將院子裡的情景攬入眼底。
這間小院實在簡陋，只三間房，還有一間是灶房。站在院門處，就可將這裡一切猜得剔透。
夫人看向倚在自己夫君竹椅旁的那個人，那人卻閉著眼，看也懶得看她，仍然趴在季玖腿上，睡得稀裡糊塗——他夜裡睡不好，只好在白晝的陽光下補眠。陽光愈燦爛，他就睡得越香，其中原因無外乎光線熾烈，照得起不了什麼心思。
季玖也不知他是真睡還是假睡，也已習慣了，便隨著他。
這一回，卻是不能隨他了。季玖在那烏黑發頂拍了一下，道：“起來。”
伊墨“嗯”了下，這才直起身甩了甩頭，睡眼惺忪的站起來，低著嗓子喊了一聲：“小寶。”
沈玨連忙走過去，替他拍淨黑袍上沾染的黃土，又替他理順了因為打盹而紛亂的長髮，連上面沾著的葉梗都一併摘乾淨。
被伺候好了，伊墨才邁步筆直朝院門走出去。
季玖對沈玨吩咐道：“跟著他，別由著他胡鬧。”
沈玨點頭，隨著伊墨的背影快步追上去。
季玖示意奴婢們去院外候著，這才走到夫人面前，彎身將小女兒抱在懷裡了，才望著夫人問：“怎麼來了？”
一句話問得平靜如水。
只是這種平靜，看在夫人眼裡，實在是起到了火上澆油的效果。
“妾身不能來嗎？！”
季玖看她一眼，抱緊了懷裡受驚的女兒，道：“夫人去喝些茶靜靜心罷。”
小丫頭從未見過娘親在她面前發怒，一時被駭，咧著嘴就要哭。被季玖抱到一旁哄了很久，還抽抽噎噎，止不住淚花。
空氣裡有槐花飄香，連竹椅旁的圓桌上也泛著槐花香氣，季玖抓了桌上一些點心，喂給抽噎中的女兒，小丫頭先試了試，接著連抽噎都停了，花瓣一樣的嘴唇上沾滿了點心末，一邊吃一邊瞪著水汽未散的大眼睛望著季玖，吃完了一個，季玖又喂第二個，丫頭張著嘴，幾乎咬上他的指尖。這幅饞貓樣惹得季玖笑起來，丫頭雖不知道為什麼，卻也跟著他笑，臉上還掛著淚痕。
季玖見她好了，便抱著走到夫人面前，又抓了一把桌上點心，遞過去道：“嘗嘗，自己做的。”
沈玨摘得那麼多槐花，除了新鮮的做了飯，剩下的都熬煮成了槐花醬，做點心時添些進去，便口齒留香。
說長不長，說短不短的時間，夫人也冷靜下來，接過點心看了看，道：“我從不知你會做這些。”
季玖笑了一下，“現在知道也不算晚。”
夫人優雅的掩著唇，嘗了嘗，味道出乎意料的好，剛準備誇讚，卻又猛地頓住，看著他問：“你做給他吃的？”
季玖微微皺了眉，道：“閑來無事，做給自己吃，分他一些又如何？什麼時候變得這麼小家子氣了？”
夫人聞言笑了笑，笑容無端的發苦，說：“嫁給你這些年，你可沒做給我吃過。一次都沒有。”
季玖道：“那是因為每年這個時節，我幾乎都不在家。”
“當真每一年都不在？”夫人反問，“剛過門那年，你可是在的，就忘了嗎？”
她說的事，已經被歲月淹沒的太過遙遠，季玖想了很久，才想起來，那一年他的確在家。只是那時節，他忙得一天連新婚娘子都見不了幾面，又怎麼會想到去做點心。這種事，須有空閒，還須靜下心來，認認真真去做，才做得好。否則吃在口中，便不是那個味道。
幼年時做給母親吃，哪一次不要幾天功夫，才做得好？
季玖道：“你這是要做什麼呢？”將碎掉的點心從她手裡拿開，季玖坐回竹椅上，抱著小丫頭道：“有什麼話便說。無理取鬧這種事你做不好，做起來還不如那些市井婦人。”
夫人勉強平靜了一些，很快道：“夫君納房妾吧。”
她說的很快，似乎早已想好，只等季玖點頭。這麼些年，男人都是寵著她的，雖聚少離多，該給的一樣也沒少過，恰恰因為聚的時間太少，所以給她的就更多。她也知道，季玖是不會點頭的，但必須她這麼說，才能說後面的話。
可是已經沒有機會說出口了。
季玖逗弄著懷裡丫頭，不咸不淡地回答了她：“好。”
夫人怔在那處，腦中仿佛一下子被鑿空，失去了所有的念頭。
季玖等了等，才抬起眼，望著女子不知不覺濕潤的雙眼，仍是平靜的道：“既然要納，以我的身份，一房怎麼夠？聽人說，城東棉花巷有一戶章姓人家，生了一雙好女兒。你去替我看看，若真是花容月貌，便擇個日子把事情辦了。”略頓，見她沒有反應，又說了一句：“越快越好吧。不定出征前還能給乖女再添一個弟弟或妹妹。”
說著，季玖揉著女兒臉頰，問她：“乖女，想要妹妹嗎？”
乖女是小丫頭的乳名，聽得爹爹喚她，雖聽不懂大人話裡的機鋒，卻也樂呵呵的笑著點頭。
夫人臉上已經蒼白如紙，幾乎站不穩。
季玖又等片刻，放下懷中丫頭讓她去一邊玩，走到夫人面前，摩挲著她腮上淚珠，這才低聲道：“夫人，你並不是自己想得那般大度，明白嗎？”
“季玖雖無所長，納幾房妾，收幾個歌舞姬還是能做得到的。”季玖淡淡道：“就是再養幾個孌童在後院，夫人你也沒有拒絕的份。”
攥著女子冰涼的手，季玖拉著她坐在自己身側，緩緩道：“季玖不納妾，不養外室，並非完全是寵著你的緣故。”
夫人在他掌中的手顫了顫，仿佛被驚嚇的小動物。
季玖又攥的緊些了，才繼續道：“那些人季玖看不入眼，長的再好，也不放在心上。再者我已娶妻，便不該讓夫人傷心，這才是這些年季玖不納妾的原因。”
放開掌中的手，季玖盯著她的淚眼，問：“你覺得，若是季玖入了眼，夫人阻攔有用嗎？”
女子壓抑著哭聲，搖了搖頭。
“幾年前皇上要賞幾名宮女，我雖不曾說過，你也當聽過些風聲，確實是真的，可是季玖沒要。”季玖笑了一下，淡淡道：“我若想要，夫人攔不住。我若不想要，皇上也強塞不了。”
又沉吟片刻，季玖才說了最後一句：“我若對他有心，怎麼會讓他在這山間小院裡，委委屈屈。我會當著天下人的面，將他帶入將軍府。夫人，這才是季玖。若是季玖沒這麼做，你就無須擔心什麼。”
此時恰好乖女自牆角擷了幾朵野花，高高興興的撲上娘親膝蓋，軟糯糯的聲音喚著：“娘看，香香。”沒聽見回應，乖女仰起臉來看，“啪嗒——”一聲，尚有餘溫的水滴砸在她仰起的額頭上，乖女怔了怔，瞬間大哭起來。
夫人無聲的哭著，丫頭扯著嗓子嚎，便是在這樣的哭聲裡，季玖坐在一旁竹椅上，面色淡然，無悲無喜，只有風拂過。
盞茶的功夫，那壓抑與奔放的哭聲都歇了下來，夫人抱著乖女起身，低頭道：“妾身懂了。天已不早，妾身該回府了。”
季玖起身替她開門，走到門口處，季柳氏小聲問了一句：“夫君若無心，為何又不……”
季玖撩開她額上細絲，沉聲道：“有些人，你傷他一分，便會愧疚十分。季玖不願餘生都在愧疚裡。”
夫人問：“為什麼？”
季玖笑了笑，沒有回答。
——因為有些人，是你一出生，便欠著的。
馬車行在黃土道上，漸漸遠去，季玖望著車馬消失，站了許久，才回了院裡。
而後就一直等，一直等，直到夜幕降臨，沈玨才與那人回來。
季玖說：“哪裡瘋去了？”
伊墨不答，過去將他擁住。季玖拍了拍他的背，問道：“喝酒了？”
伊墨沒說話，沈玨道：“就喝了幾杯，然後去山林裡采果子了。”
季玖“嗯”了聲，說：“我餓了，誰去做飯？”
沈玨放下包裹，道：“我順便買了些吃食回來。”
“那就吃吧。”季玖推開膩在身上的人，扯了他的胳膊，帶進房裡。
小院又恢復寂靜。漆黑天幕上，月光皎潔，星光璀璨。
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No matter how peaceful life is, there will be some disturbances occasionally.
Shen Jue was practicing sword in the courtyard, Ji Jiu was sitting beside him watching, Yi Mo was leaning beside him and taking a nap on the bamboo chair. On this ordinary afternoon, Shen Jue, with his mighty sword , suddenly made a sword flower, put away his sword and stood aside.
Ji Jiu was a little surprised. At this moment, there was a knock on the courtyard door. The knocker knocked on the wooden board, one after another, and Ji Jiu signaled Shen Jue to open the door.
As soon as the courtyard gate was opened, the woman behind the door walked in. Ji Jiu was slightly stunned and quickly said, “Madam." But he asked the person to lie on his legs and couldn’t stand up.
Ji Liu was holding her young daughter, with servants following behind her, and standing at the gate of the courtyard. She could take in the scene in the courtyard at a glance.
This small courtyard is really simple, with only three rooms, one of which is a kitchen. Standing at the gate, you can guess everything here.
The lady looked at the man leaning against her husband’s bamboo chair, but he closed his eyes and was too lazy to look at her. He was still lying on Ji Jiu’s legs, sleeping soundly – he couldn’t sleep well at night, so he had to make up for it in the daytime sunshine. The brighter the sun, the more soundly he slept, the reason for which was nothing more than the blazing light that made it difficult for him to think.
Ji Jiu didn’t know whether he was really sleeping or pretending to sleep, but he was used to it and just followed him.
This time, he couldn’t let him do what he wanted. Ji Jiu patted the top of the black hair and said, “Get up."
Yi Mo nodded, then stood up and shook his head. He stood up with sleepy eyes and called out in a low voice: “Xiaobao."
Shen Jue walked over quickly, brushed off the yellow dirt on his black robe, and straightened his long hair which was messy due to napping, and even picked off the leaf stems that were stuck on it.
After being served, Yi Mo walked straight towards the courtyard gate.
Ji Jiu instructed Shen Jue: “Follow him, don’t let him mess around."
Shen Jue nodded and quickly followed Yi Mo’s back.
Ji Jiu signaled the servants to wait outside the courtyard, then walked up to the lady, bent over and held the little girl in his arms, then looked at the lady and asked, “Why are you here?"
The question was asked calmly.
But in the eyes of the lady, this kind of calmness actually added fuel to the fire.
“Can’t I come?!"
Ji Jiu glanced at her, hugged his frightened daughter tightly, and said, “Madam, go and drink some tea to calm your mind."
The little girl had never seen her mother get angry in front of her, and she was frightened for a moment, her mouth was about to cry. Ji Jiu held her aside and coaxed her for a long time, but she was still sobbing and couldn’t stop the tears.
The air was filled with the fragrance of locust flowers, and even the round table next to the bamboo chair was filled with the fragrance of locust flowers. Ji Jiu grabbed some snacks on the table and fed them to his sobbing daughter. The little girl tried it first, and then even her sobbing stopped. Her petal-like lips were covered with snack crumbs. While eating, she stared at Ji Jiu with her big eyes that were still steamy. After finishing one, Ji Jiu fed the second one. The girl opened her mouth and almost bit his fingertips. This greedy look made Ji Jiu laugh. Although the girl didn’t know why, she laughed with him, with tears on her face.
Seeing that she was well, Ji Jiu carried her to the Madam, grabbed a handful of snacks on the table, handed them to her and said, “Try it, I made it myself."
Shen Jue picked so many locust flowers. Besides using the fresh ones to cook meals, he boiled the rest into locust flower sauce. He added some to snacks to create a delicious taste.
After a while, the lady calmed down, took the snack, looked at it, and said, “I never knew you could do this."
Ji Jiu smiled and said, “It’s not too late to know now."
The lady covered her lips elegantly and tasted it. It tasted unexpectedly good. She was about to praise it, but suddenly stopped and looked at him and asked, “Did you make this for him?"
Ji Jiu frowned slightly and said, “I have nothing to do, so I made it for myself and gave him some. When did you become so petty?"
The lady smiled upon hearing this, but her smile became bitter for no reason, and she said, “In all these years that I’ve been married to you, you’ve never cooked for me. Not even once."
Ji Jiu said: “That’s because I’m almost never at home at this time of year."
“Are you really not here every year?" the lady asked. “You were here the first year we got married. Have you forgotten?"
What she said has been buried in the past. Ji Jiu thought for a long time before he remembered that he was indeed at home that year. But at that time, he was so busy that he could not even see his newlywed wife for a few times a day, so how could he think of making snacks? For such things, you need to have free time, calm down, and do it seriously to do it well. Otherwise, it will not taste the same when you eat it.
When I was young, I used to cook for my mother. It always took me several days to make it perfect.
Ji Jiu asked, “What are you going to do?" He took the broken snacks away from her hand, sat back on the bamboo chair, hugged the little girl and said, “Just say whatever you want to say. You are not good at making trouble, and you are worse than those women in the market."
The lady managed to calm down a little, and quickly said, “My husband, please take a concubine."
She spoke quickly, as if she had already thought about it and was just waiting for Ji Jiu to nod. Over the years, the man had always spoiled her. Although they were together less often, he had never given her less than he deserved. It was precisely because they were together so little that he gave her more. She also knew that Ji Jiu would not nod, but she had to say this before she could say the following words.
But there was no chance to say it.
Ji Jiu teased the girl in his arms and answered her indifferently: “Okay."
The lady stood there in a daze, her mind seemed to be emptied out all of a sudden, and she lost all thoughts.
Ji Jiu waited for a while before he raised his eyes and looked at the woman’s eyes which were wet unconsciously. He said calmly: “Since you want to marry, with my status, how can one room be enough? I heard that there is a Zhang family in Cotton Lane in the east of the city who gave birth to a pair of beautiful daughters. You go and take a look for me. If they are really beautiful, choose a day to do the matter." After a pause, seeing that she did not respond, he said: “The sooner the better. Maybe before going to war, I can give my good daughter another brother or sister."
As he spoke, Ji Jiu rubbed his daughter’s cheek and asked her, “My dear girl, do you want a sister?"
Good girl is the little girl’s nickname. When she heard her father calling her, she smiled and nodded happily, although she didn’t understand the meaning of the adults’ words.
The lady’s face was as pale as paper and she could hardly stand.
Ji Jiu waited for a while, put the girl down and let her go to play, walked to the lady, stroked the tears on her cheeks, and whispered: “Madam, you are not as generous as you think, understand?"
“Although Ji Jiu has no special talents, he can still take in a few concubines and a few singing and dancing girls ." Ji Jiu said calmly: “Even if he raises a few more male lovers in the backyard, you, Madam, have no right to refuse."
Holding the woman’s cold hand, Ji Jiu pulled her to sit beside him and said slowly: “Ji Jiu does not take concubines or keep mistresses, not entirely because he dotes on you."
The lady’s hand in his palm trembled, like a frightened little animal.
Ji Jiu clenched his fists tighter, and then continued, “I don’t like those people. No matter how good they look, I don’t care. Besides, I’m married, so I shouldn’t make my wife sad. This is why Ji Jiu hasn’t taken a concubine in these years ."
Letting go of his hand, Ji Jiu stared into her tearful eyes and asked, “Do you think it would be useful for Madam to stop Ji Jiu if she caught your eye?"
The woman suppressed her tears and shook her head.
“A few years ago, the emperor wanted to reward a few palace maids. Although I never told you, you must have heard some rumors. It is indeed true, but Ji Jiu didn’t want them." Ji Jiu smiled and said lightly: “If I want them, Madam can’t stop me. If I don’t want them, the emperor can’t force me."
After a moment of silence, Ji Jiu said the last sentence: “If I had feelings for him, how could I let him suffer in this small courtyard in the mountains ? I will bring him to the general’s mansion in front of everyone in the world. Madam, this is Ji Jiu. If Ji Jiu didn’t do this, you don’t have to worry about anything."
to pick some wild flowers from the corner of the wall . She happily threw herself on her mother’s knees and called out softly , " Mom , look, it smells so good." Not hearing any response, the good girl raised her head to look. With a “plop", a drop of water with residual warmth hit her upturned forehead. The good girl was stunned and burst into tears instantly.
The lady was crying silently and the maid was howling at the top of her lungs. Amidst the crying, Ji Jiu was sitting on a bamboo chair beside her, his face indifferent, neither sad nor happy, with only the wind blowing by.
a cup of tea , the suppressed and unrestrained crying stopped. Madam stood up holding the good girl and said with her head down: “I understand. It’s getting late, I should go back home."
Ji Jiu stood up and opened the door for her. When they reached the door, Ji Liu asked in a low voice, “If my husband has no intention, why don’t you…"
Ji Jiu brushed away the thin hair on her forehead and said in a deep voice: “For some people, if you hurt them a little, you will feel very guilty. Ji Jiu doesn’t want to live in guilt for the rest of her life."
The lady asked, “Why?”
Ji Jiu smiled and didn’t answer.
——Because there are some people you owe since you are born.
The carriage was moving on the loess road and gradually going away. Ji Jiu stood there for a long time, watching the carriage disappear, before returning to the yard.
Then they waited and waited until night fell, when Shen Jue came back with that man.
Ji Jiu said: “Where did you go crazy?"
Yi Mo didn’t answer, but went over to hug him. Ji Jiu patted his back and asked, “Have you been drinking?"
Yi Mo didn’t say anything. Shen Jue said, “I just drank a few cups and then went to the forest to pick fruits."
Ji Jiu hummed and said, “I’m hungry, who’s going to cook?"
Shen Jue put down the package and said, “I bought some food by the way."
“Then eat." Ji Jiu pushed away the person who was clinging to him, pulled his arm, and led him into the room.
The courtyard returned to silence. On the dark sky, the moonlight was bright and the stars were shining.
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